Y'allbonics

ANY GOOD SOUTH'NER WORTH THEIR WEIGHT IN PEACHES
> > > >>WILL UNDERSTAND EVERY SINGLE WORD BELOW!
> > > >>
> > > >>The Association of Southern Schools has decided to
> > > pursue
> > > >>some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar
> > > pipeline
> > > >>through Washington designating Southern slang, or
> > > >>y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all
> > > Southern
> > > >>schools. The following are excerpts from the
> > > >>Y'allbonics/English dictionary.
> > > >>
> > > >>HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.
> > > >>
> > > >>HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of
> > > greeting.
> > > >>Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?"
> > > >>
> > > >>BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to
> > > borrow."
> > > >>Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck."
> > > >>
> > > >>JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida.
> > > >>Capitol is Lanner. Usage "My brother from
> > > >>Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
> > > >>
> > > >>BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh.
> > > >>Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage "A tornader jes
> > > went
> > > >>through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in
> > > >>improvements."
> > > >>
> > > >>MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage "My
> > > brother
> > > >>from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd
> > > from
> > > >>him in munts."
> > > >>
> > > >>THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage "Ah
> > > thank ah'll
> > > >>have a bare."
> > > >>
> > > >>BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of
> > > barley,
> > > >>hops, and yeast. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a
> > > bare."
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >>IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas
> > > native.
> > > >>" Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"
> > > >>
> > > >>RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin'
> > > bolts. Usage
> > > >>"I thank I left my ranch in the back of that
> > > pickup truck
> > > >>my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
> > > >>
> > > >>ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage
> > > "I
> > > >>sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my
> > > pickup
> > > >>truck."
> > > >>
> > > >>FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage "If my
> > > brother
> > > >>from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup
> > > truck,
> > > >>that thing's gonna catch far."
> > > >>
> > > >>TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage "Gee, I hope
> > > that
> > > >>brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar
> > > in my
> > > >>pickup truck."
> > > >>
> > > >>TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage "Lord
> > > willin' and
> > > >>the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that
> > > Eiffel
> > > >>Tire in Paris sometime."
> > > >>
> > > >>RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage "My
> > > grampaw
> > > >>retard at age 65."
> > > >>
> > > >>FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to
> > > engage in
> > > >>battle or combat. Usage "You younguns keep fat'n,
> > > >>n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."
> > > >>
> > > >>RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
> > > Usage
> > > >>"We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
> > > >>
> > > >>CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage "Just set
> > > that
> > > >>bare rat cheer."
> > > >>
> > > >>FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage "I
> > > cuddint
> > > >>unnerstand a wurd he sed... must be from some
> > > farn
> > > >>country."
> > > >>
> > > >>DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage "He's did,
> > > Jim."
> > > >>
> > > >>ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen.
> > > >>Usage "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ARE!"
> > > >>
> > > >>BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage
> > > >>"Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
> > > >>
> > > >>JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage
> > > >>"Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job
> > > >>with that bob war fence cump'ny?"
> > > >>
> > > >>HAZE - a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart?"
> > > >>"Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a
> > > >>minnit'n 'is laf."
> > > >>
> > > >>SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".
> > > >>
> > > >>VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage
> > > >>"I ain't never seed New York City...view?"
> > > >>
> > > >>GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.
> > > >>Usage "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert.