Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Korean Konglish Jokes

These are only funny for Koreans or those kyoppos like me who get them.


What do you call a pre-occupied bean? kong beejee
what do you call a broken bicycle? mot-tah-cycle

where do lettuces worship? at a sang-choo-ary (sanctuary)

what do you call a big napkin? HU-ji (huge)

wanna hear a family joke? gah joke

what did one forehead say to the other? .. ya eemah!

what do you call a smelly bird? nem seh

what do you call the burnt rice at the bottom of a rice cooker? bobby brown

what is the vampire's fav drink? koh-pee

why did the korean smoker go to the horseraces? mal-bo-ro

what did the small fish say when he got eaten by the big fish? Oh-dheng!!!

what did the byun tae say to the mushroom? oht buhsut!

what did the cat say to the sheep to make it go away? GO YANG EE!

what do you call a hairy robot? tul-min-a-tuh!

Why don't lobsters share? They are Shell-fish

What did the bread say when it ran into the wall... ppang!
What did a cookie say to another cookie when it wanted to leave...gwajah

What do you call a 5 year old onion? Oh-nyun

What celebrity can you trust with your luggage?Jjim Carrey

How did the ice cream get into a car accident?Cha Gah Wah Suh

What did the fish say when it lost its bones?Oh my ga shee

What do u call a corny soup?Ssulung tang

what did song say to mong when he told her he was leaving the country? donk-go, mong

What did the truck say to the bread? Bbang Bbang!

What do you call a cute guy with no ears? Gwee-up-dah!

What did the mama turkey say to the baby turkey? Gobble - ji- mah!

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

Crap, I'm too Americanized. I don't get any of these jokes.

David Kim said...

MiYon, you should learn Korean and come back to your roots.

These jokes are so stupid they're hilarious!

Anonymous said...

I just came up on this pretty randomly but I have to say this is pretty hilarious.

Another good one is:

What do you call someone who's really Gay?...

Muji-Gay!

ahaha, I don't get the shellfish one though.

David Kim said...

Thanks for your comments and welcome, Anonymous! Thanks for you joke too.

Shellfish= selfish lobster invertebrates

Anonymous said...

But how is that a konglish joke?

David Kim said...

If you're talking about the shellfish joke, it's because a lot of Koreans pronounce "s" with "sh". So, instead of "selfish", it's "shellfish". Another example would be "shupermarket" instead of "supermarket."

fortysevenminutes said...

ok heres two more:

what did the bus driver say to the egg?

get-ran

where do grandpas go to find love?
e-halmony.com

Anonymous said...

Which country has the best fighters? -Chil-leh (Chili)

Who IS the best figher? -Pele

What did the watermelon to when it got sued? -Sue back

What did Justin Timberlake say when he saw rice on the floor? - Dirty Bab!



Goodness I love Konglish jokes

Anonymous said...

it makes sense if you can understand korean...for example, the one with the fish losing its bones. oh my ga shee sounds like "oh my gosh!" which makes sense to english speakers. but ga-shee means the fish bones in korean...

and dont go mong means butthole...
and for the vamp's fave drink, koh-pee sounds like "coffee," and it means nose bleed in korean.
just some examples.

Anonymous said...

hey some of the jokes are wrong, like its not as funny if u write about the fish eatin da other fish. it should be what did the male fishcake say to da female fishcake? see its better wen he says o deng!...

Anonymous said...

hey some of the jokes are wrong, like its not as funny if u write about the fish eatin da other fish. it should be what did the male fishcake say to da female fishcake? see its better wen he says o deng!...

Anonymous said...

i have one
what did the little boy say to his grandpa when the mountain was burning?
San Ta Halabuji!

Anonymous said...

these are good
i have one too

what do you say when the dodgers lose?

dah-jeo-suh

A. Suh said...

What do you get when you put a jacket in a blender?

jahmba juice

Anonymous said...

heres one of my favs

what does satan wear when he's cold?

e-bul(blanket)

ahahahaha

chocolover<3 said...

another joke
why did the Dodgers lose the tournament?
Da-Juh-Suh

Anonymous said...

Lol some of them are really corny but some are nice. i got some too

What did a rabbit who was riding a motorcycle say to a tiger?

Ta-ee-guh

What do you call a dead almond?

DiAmond

What do you call a dead ice?

Die Bing** (diving)

What did a korean said when the waiter said water is self served?

What are you talking about? Mool is WATER!! (usually koreans say Mool oon self ib ni da when water is self served)

What do you call a rooster's wife?

Dak chuh

What did a kimchi mandoo say when he was confessing to a kimchi?

Neh ahn eh... Nuh it da!

i noe few more but can't remember rite now xD

Anonymous said...

whats da strongest meat?
so sse-ji

how much is a korean blanket?
ee-bul

what does a fish say wen its put in hot water?
oh deng !

Anonymous said...

i knew most of these..
i LOLd on the e-halmony though HAHAHAHAH

ZenKimchi said...

How do you send your tooth through the mail?

E-mail.

Anonymous said...

what did the sandal say to the heel?

Lookin gu-du!

Anonymous said...

okay ready ? why did the fly go to the hospital? palee ah puh suh
why did the mosquito go the the hospital? mok ee ah puh suh

BAHHAAHAHAH

Anonymous said...

i got one ^^

whats a halabuji's favorite type of money?

Hal-money ^^

Anonymous said...

I admit sum r hilarious but others r just bad jokes.

I hav one 4 u:

What do you call someone who does weather reports on the sun?

heh ree po tuh (Harry Porter)

Anonymous said...

KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
e-halmony.com
so funny

Anonymous said...

how much does a firearm cost?
pal bul

Danny James O'Rourke said...

Where do Yu-dae-een (유대인) keep their money? In their Jew-money (주머니)

Where to Australians keep their money? In their hoju-moni (호주머니)

ㅋㅋhaha

Anonymous said...

LOL i got one too~~

There were 2 ships, one was the mother ship, one was her son ship, the mother ship called his son, SHIP SEKI!!! shipseki is korean slang xD

gfunk818 said...

What do you call cheap mexican meat?

Carne ASADA! ah~ Sa DA!



Made that one up myself
http://www.youtube.com/user/robertyoon?feature=mhum

jonny said...

What do you call a broken down 오토바이? -- mot-tah-cycle. (못타) <<<--- This version is funnier. ;o)

Anonymous said...

3 people die god told them they could choose an animal and get reborn as them the 1st person said cow, the 2nd said mouse ,third said bird and they all got transformed into a so-se-gi

Becky Kim said...

what do you call a fat japanese lady?

akamoko tomoko

Anonymous said...

ㅋㅋㅋ 귀없다 ..귀엽다 That's my favorite one on here

Anonymous said...

글쎄요.답이 영어로 써 있어서 좀 이상해요.
예를 들어 답이 코피이면 coppi라고 써 있어서 처음에는 커피인 줄 알았어요.

Anonymous said...

What do you call a mama who likes to put people
in sleep?
마취.the letter 마 kinda sounds like ma and
마취 means to put people in sleep using a special
medicine usually in hospitals.마plus마equals 마마.마마
kinda sounds like mama.

Made it myself as a Korean Canadian.Thank you for other
jokes too,

Unknown said...

I tried so hard to try and understand these jokes... but i just dont get them... i swear that if jin from bts would read these jokes i am sure he would die laughing and rolling on the floor