Computer Problems?

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry

applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0".

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs
such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0 . And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and
Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail".
What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

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Dear Desperate:

"First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system".

"Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download
Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should

then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5".
"But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to
Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly. WAV files."

"Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another
Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash
Husband 1.0".

"In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally
recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7".

Good Luck,

Tech Support