Misprints in the Church Bulletin

Misprints in the church bulletin:
>>
>> Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be
>> recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
>>
>> The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people >>

who are not afflicted with any church.
>>
>> The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies
>> are invited to lunch in theFellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
>>
>> The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
>>
>> Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m.
>> Please use the back door.
>>
>> Ushers will eat latecomers.
>>
>> For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery >>

downstairs.
>>
>> The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
>>
>> The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will
>> sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
>>
>> During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of
>> hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
>>
>> Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The
>> pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
>>
>> Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be
>> discontinued until further notice.
>>
>> The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich
>> Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
>>
>> Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
>>
>> The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet inthe church >>

basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this >>
tragedy.
>>
>> The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks >>

are due to the minister's daughter, who labored thewhole evening at the >>
piano, which asusual fell upon her.
>>
>> 22 members were present at thechurch meeting held at the home of Mrs.
>> Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a
>>
duet, The Lord Knows Why.
>>
>> A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
>>
>> Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?" Preacher: The Rev. Horace
>> Blodgett Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"
>>
>> Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
>>
>> Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.
>>
>> Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
>>
>> 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several >>

new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
>>
>> The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to >>

join the choir.
>>
>> Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for >>

the girth of their first child.
>>
>> Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the >>

side entrance.






>> Actual excuse notes from parents (Spelling mistakes included)
>>
>> Actual excuses from parents:
>>
>> My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please >>

execute him.
>>
>> Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
>>
>> Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,
>> 32,and also 33.
>>
>> Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
>>
>> Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of >>
a
tree and misplaced his hip.
>>
>> John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
>>
>> Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt
>>
in the growing part.
>>
>> Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by
>> very close veins.
>>
>> Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
>>
>> Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his >>

boots leak.
>>
>> Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
>>
>> Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get
>> the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought >>

it was Sunday.
>>
>> Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her
>> funeral.
>>
>> My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a
>> weekend with the Marines.
>>
>> Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with
>> gramps.
>>
>> Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
>>
>> Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore
>> throat,headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and
>> sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I
>> wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something >>

going around, her father even got hot last night.