Monday, October 31, 2005 

Sarah and I before Christine's Wedding


My sister got married on Sunday, October 23, 2005. It was a lovely wedding and there were a lot of friends and family that attended. Sarah and I were the gift attendants. We took some pictures, but I'll upload more pictures as I get them from other people.

Click on the title to see more pictures that we took on our Canon S400 digital camera. More pictures to come. Posted by Picasa

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Friday, October 21, 2005 

Euro-English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather than
German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly,
this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when
the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make
words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which
have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be
reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with
"v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten
styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil
find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey
vunted in ze forst
plas.

Submitted by A.M.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005 

16 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK...

1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay.
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.
5. It encourages car pooling.
6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
8. It makes fellow employees look better.
9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch
break...
15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
16. Sitting "Bare ass" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as
gross.

 

Used Vegetable Oil Powered Car

I want to get a car that runs on used vegetable oil. Ever since I've heard of people doing that, I've wanted to drive a car like that. Wouldn't that be awesome? You will need to buy a diesel engine car and get a vegetable oil conversion kit from places like www.greasecar.com

You go to places like Chinese restaurants and ask for their used vegetable oil (non-hydrogenated). Then, you pour the oil into a filter. After that you pour the filtered oil into your diesel engine car. An 1980's Mercedes 300TD would be a great car for this. Those old cars are cheap now and diesel engines last a very long time. With these conversion kits, you get 2 tanks-one for regular diesel fuel to start and warm the car and one tank to hold the vegetable oil.

Once you have a vegetable oil powered car, you will hardly ever have to go to the gas station again. You can get all your oil from restaurants. Once Sarah and I buy a house, I want to do this. Then, I can have a big filter and storage tank in our garage to hold all the vegetable oil fuel. Restaurant owners may be willing to help because you will be taking away their oil for free. Otherwise, they will have to pay a service to have them take the old oil away.

Diesel engines were originally created by Dr. Diesel to run on peanut oil. Later they were changed to run on petroleum. Now, with the conversion kits, they can run on vegetable oil again. These kits cost $500-$1,000. I think they'll pay for themselves within one year. You get the same gas mileage and same horsepower as running on regular diesel. Your car will also perform the same. There won't be any damage to your car either. You have to heat the vegetable oil first though. With the kit, you warm up the engine and the vegetable oil by starting your car with running the diesel fuel first. Otherwise, the vegetable oil will start to coagulate. Once the oil is warmed up, you flip a switch to vegetable oil. This is ingenious!

Thousands of people are already doing this. It's just not main stream yet. This is also environmentally friendly because cooking oil pollutes much less than petroleum based fuels. You can drive as much as you want because you can get the used cooking oil for free. That's ultimate freedom. It might be a hassle collecting and filtering the oil, but I think it will be well worth it.

Best of all, your car will smell like Chinese food or french fries, depending on where you get your vegetable oil. This smells a lot better than diesel and will make everyone in the neighborhood hungry.

Click on the title of this post to read an article from Car and Driver about vegetable oil diesel cars.

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Some Feel Good Crap to Think About

The Best Things in Life are Free


> 1. Falling in love.
>
> 2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
>
> 3. A hot shower.
>
> 4. No lines at the supermarket.
>
> 5. A special glance.
>
> 6. Getting mail.
>
> 7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
>
> 8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
>
> 9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
>
> 10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
>
> 11. Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price.
>
> 12. Chocolate milkshake (or vanilla!) (or strawberry).
>
> 13. A long distance phone call.
>
> 14. A bubble bath.
>
> 15. Giggling.
>
> 16. A good conversation.
>
> 17. The beach.
>
> 18. Finding a $20 bill in your coat from last winter.
>
> 19. Laughing at yourself.
>
> 20. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
>
> 21. Running through sprinklers.
>
> 22. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
>
> 23. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
>
> 24. Laughing at an inside joke.
>
> 25. Friends.
>
> 26. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about
you.
>
> 27. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to
>sleep.
>
> 28. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new
partner).
>
> 29. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
>
> 30. Playing with a new puppy.
>
> 31. Having someone play with your hair.
>
> 32. Sweet dreams.
>
> 33. Hot chocolate.
>
> 34. Road trips with friends.
>
> 35. Swinging on swings.
>
> 36. Wrapping presents under the Christmas tree while eating
cookies
> and drinking your favorite hot toddy.
>
> 37. Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing
along
> without feeling stupid.
>
> 38. Going to a really good concert.
>
> 39. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
>
> 40. Winning a really competitive game.
>
> 41. Making chocolate chip cookies.
>
> 42. Having your friends send you home-made cookies.
>
> 43. Spending time with close friends.
>
> 44. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.
>
> 45. Holding hands with someone you care about.
>
> 46. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things
(good
>or
> bad) never change.
>
> 47. Riding the best roller coasters over and over.
>
> 48. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a
much
> desired present from you.
>
> 49. Watching the sunrise.
>
> 50. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for
another
> beautiful day.

Monday, October 17, 2005 

The Lover

There was this woman that takes a lover during the day, while
her husband is at work. Without her knowing, her 9 year old son was
hiding in the closet. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she hides
the lover in the closet, where the little boy is also hiding.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover
end up in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
Man - remembering last time, asks, "How much?"
Boy - "$750."
Man - "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your ball and glove.
Let's go outside and toss the baseball."

The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."

The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

The son says "$1,000."

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that.
That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to
church and make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again!"

Saturday, October 15, 2005 

Monterey Park Classic Car Show


This was taken on October 15, 2005. We stopped by to take some pictures of some great classic and modified import cars. Click on the title of this post to see all the pictures. I'm sorry, but I'm lazy and the pictures are filed under Christine's party. I'm just too busy these days. You can also get access to see all my other pictures on my Yahoo Photo Album. Posted by Picasa

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My Wife and My Baby Sister


At dinner, we ate, danced, played games, and drank. If you click on the title of this post, you can see all the pictures we took at the party. Christine played one game where she had to touch all the guys' legs, including mine, to see if she could tell which leg belonged to Sae Woon. Posted by Picasa

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Christine's Post-Bridal Shower Party.


My baby sister, Christine, is getting married on October 23, 2005. My wife, Sarah, went to Christine's bridal shower on October 8, 2005. Sae Woon's sister, Sae Jin Jo, organized a bridal shower for my sister. They did whatever girls do at some spa. Afterwards, I joined them for dinner at Fox Sports Grill at the Irvine Spectrum. We had fun playing games. Posted by Picasa

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Wednesday, October 12, 2005 

Top 10 Ways to Say Your Zipper is Down

Top Ten Most Polite Ways to Say Your Zipper is Down by David Letterman


10. The cucumber has left the salad. >>> >>>
9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells. >>> >>>
8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked >>> position.
7. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson.. >>> >>>
6. Elvis is leaving the building. >>> >>>
5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage. >>> >>>
4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction. >>> >>>
3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones. >>> >>>
2. Men may be From Mars.....but I can see something that rhymes with >>> Venus.

And the #1 way to tell someone his zipper is
unzipped..... >>> >>> >>>
1. I always knew you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts. >>> >>> >> >

Monday, October 10, 2005 

Christine and Sae Woon's Wedding

My sister and Sae Woon's wedding webpage is www.christineandsaewoon.weddings.com.

You can go check out their site by clicking on the title of this link also. In the beginning, I kept forgetting his name because I'm not good with Korean names. I called Sae Woon, "Ssang Chu", which means lettuce in Korean. I think he's getting used to me being an overprotective brother. Nowadays, it's hard being overprotective because Christine is hardly ever home.

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Misprints in the Church Bulletin

Misprints in the church bulletin:
>>
>> Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be
>> recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
>>
>> The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people >>

who are not afflicted with any church.
>>
>> The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies
>> are invited to lunch in theFellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
>>
>> The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
>>
>> Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m.
>> Please use the back door.
>>
>> Ushers will eat latecomers.
>>
>> For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery >>

downstairs.
>>
>> The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
>>
>> The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will
>> sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
>>
>> During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of
>> hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
>>
>> Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The
>> pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
>>
>> Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be
>> discontinued until further notice.
>>
>> The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich
>> Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
>>
>> Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
>>
>> The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet inthe church >>

basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this >>
tragedy.
>>
>> The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks >>

are due to the minister's daughter, who labored thewhole evening at the >>
piano, which asusual fell upon her.
>>
>> 22 members were present at thechurch meeting held at the home of Mrs.
>> Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a
>>
duet, The Lord Knows Why.
>>
>> A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
>>
>> Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?" Preacher: The Rev. Horace
>> Blodgett Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"
>>
>> Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
>>
>> Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.
>>
>> Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
>>
>> 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several >>

new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
>>
>> The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to >>

join the choir.
>>
>> Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for >>

the girth of their first child.
>>
>> Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the >>

side entrance.






>> Actual excuse notes from parents (Spelling mistakes included)
>>
>> Actual excuses from parents:
>>
>> My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please >>

execute him.
>>
>> Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
>>
>> Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,
>> 32,and also 33.
>>
>> Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
>>
>> Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of >>
a
tree and misplaced his hip.
>>
>> John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
>>
>> Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt
>>
in the growing part.
>>
>> Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by
>> very close veins.
>>
>> Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
>>
>> Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his >>

boots leak.
>>
>> Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
>>
>> Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get
>> the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought >>

it was Sunday.
>>
>> Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her
>> funeral.
>>
>> My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a
>> weekend with the Marines.
>>
>> Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with
>> gramps.
>>
>> Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
>>
>> Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore
>> throat,headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and
>> sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I
>> wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something >>

going around, her father even got hot last night.

 

Ed Zachary Disease

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had
> > > > > not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was
> > > > > afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she
> > > > > decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex
> > > > > therapist. Her doctor recommended that she go see Dr.
> > > > > Chang, the well-known Chinese sex therapist. So she
> > > > > went to see him. Upon entering the examination room,
> > > > > Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all you crose." The
> > > > > woman did as she was told. "Now, get down and craw
> > > > > reery reery fass to odder side of room." Again, the
> > > > > woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said,
> > > > > "OK, now craw reery reery fass back to me." So she
> > > > > did. Dr. Chang slowly shook his head and said, "Your
> > > > > probrem vewy bad, you haf Ed Zachary Disease, worse
> > > > > case ever see, dat why you not haf sex or dates."
> > > > > Confused, the woman asked, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what
> > > > > is Ed Zachary Disease?" Dr. Chang looked the woman in
> > > > > the eyes and replied, "Ed Zachary disease is when your
> > > > > face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass."

 

You Don't Know Jack Schitt

>Many people are at a loss for a response when someone
>says "you don't know Jack Schitt". Now, You can handle
>the situation.
>
>Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe
>Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the
>owner of Knee-deep Schitt, Inc.
>
>In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply
>religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, The
>twins; Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva
>Schitt and Bull Schitt, a high school dropout.
>
>After being married for 15 years Jack and Noe divorced.
>Noe later married Mr. Sherlock and because her kids
>were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous
>name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
>
>Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a
>cowardly son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva
>Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and
>consequently, married the Happens brothers in a dual
>ceremony.
>
>The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse.
>Bull Schitt the prodigal son, left home to tour the
>world. He recently returned with his new bride, Pisa
>Schitt.
>
>Now, when someone say's you don't know Jack Schitt, you
>can correct them.

 

Ask the Kids About Marriage

> HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
>
> You got to find somebody who likes the
> same stuff. Like, if you like
> sports, she should like it that you like
> sports, and she should keep the
> chips and dip coming.
> --Alan, age 10
>
> No person really decides before they grow up
> who they're going to marry.
> God decides it all way before, and you
> get to find out later who you're
> stuck with.
> --Kirsten, age 10
>
> WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
> Twenty-three is the best age because you
> know the person FOREVER by then.
> --Camille, age 10
>
> No age is good to get married at. You got
> to be a fool to get married.
> --Freddie, age 6
>
> HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
>
> You might have to guess, based on whether
> they seem to be yelling at the same kids..
> --Derrick, age 8
>
> WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
>
> Both don't want any more kids.
> --Lori, age 8
>
> WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
>
> Dates are for having fun, and people
> should use them to get to know each
> other. Even boys have something to say
> if you listen long enough.
> --Lynnette, age 8
>
> On the first date, they just tell each
> other lies, and that usually gets
> them interested enough to go for a second
> date.
> --Martin, age 10
>
> WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
>
> I'd run home and play dead. The next day
> I would call all the newspapers
> and make sure they wrote about me in all
> the dead columns..
> --Craig, age 9
>
> WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
>
> When they're rich.
> --Pam, age 7
>
> The law says you have to be eighteen, so
> I wouldn't want to mess with that.
> --Curt, age 7
>
> The rule goes like this: If you kiss
> someone, then you should marry them
> and have kids with them. It's the right thing
> to do.
> --Howard, age 8
>
> IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
>
> I don't know which is better, but I'll
> tell you one thing. I'm never going
> to have sex with my wife. I don't want
> to be all grossed out.
> --Theodore, age 8
>
> It's better for girls to be single but
> not for boys. Boys need someone
> to clean up after them.-Anita, age 9
>
> HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET
> MARRIED?
>
> There sure would be a lot of kids to explain,
> wouldn't there?
> --Kelvin, age 8
>
> "And the #1 Favorite is........"
>
> HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
> Tell your wife that she looks pretty even
> if she looks like a truck.
> --Ricky, age 10

 

My Little Sister is Getting Married

Christine is getting married on Sunday, October 23, 2005 at 4:00 pm. She is getting married to Sae Woon Jo. They've known each other for a long time.

I hope that they have a wonderful life together.

 

A Visit to Chris the Dentist's Office

I went to the office of Dr. Chris Choi, D.D.S. this weekend. One of my fillings fell out and I had to get it refilled. I went to his office and he numbed me up really well. After I got my fillings, I couldn't really talk because my tongue and cheeks were numb. I wanted to go get a haircut at the barber's afterward, but decided not to go because I didn't want to sound like I was mentally deficient. "I wanna haicut."

My mouth was numb for 3 hours. I was really hungry later so I wanted to eat something. I ate some watermelon and drooled all over myself. I tried to eat dinner, but I kept chewing on my lower lip since I couldn't feel it. My lip was bloody red afterwards.

All in all, Chris Choi did a great job on my teeth. I highly recommend him. He's funny, patient, and gave me the best prices.*


*Actual customer testimony, not a paid endorsement. Individual results may differ.

 

10 Things You Don't Want To Know

10 things you didn't know -- and probably don't want to know.

>1. During an hour swimming at a municipal pool, you will ingest
>1/2 liter of urine.
>
>2. In an average day, your hands will have come into indirect
>contact with 15 penises (touching door handles, bank pens, etc.)
>
>3. An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain 12
>pubic hairs.
>
>4. In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects while you slept.
>
>5. Annually you will shake hands with 11 women who have recently
>masturbated and failed to wash their hands.
>
>6. Annually you will shake hands with 6 men who have recently
>masturbated and failed to wash their hands.
>
>7. In a lifetime 22 workmen will have examined the contents of
>your dirty linen basket.
>8. At an average wedding reception, you have a 1/100 chance of
>getting a cold sore from one of the gu ests.
>
>9. Daily you will breathe in 1 liter of other peoples' anal gases.
>
>10. Sharing a bag of chips with a friend gives you a 10% chance of
>ingesting a small amount of their feces.
>
>
>I am now going to throw up and go wash my hands. Have a nice day!!

I don't know how accurate this is, but I'm betting that it is closer to reality than not.

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  • From L.A., California, United States
  • Sarah is my life.
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