The Restroom Walls Have Ears

@#$%! I'm so pissed off because I have to write this dang post again. Stupid Blogger erased my first post.

Anyway, here it goes again.

Have you ever noticed that when people think they are alone they start talking to themselves out loud? Sometimes when I'm in one of the stalls in the restroom at work trying to go poo, some people walk in the bathroom and start talking to themselves. As I've mentioned in my previous post entitled "Bathroom Humor", I try to fart as quietly as possible when other people are in the bathroom, but not at home. Anyway, I must be so quiet that people don't realize I'm in there.



There's this one co-worker (whose name I will not reveal at this time) who keeps saying "2. . . 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 11, 12" over and over again while he's washing his hands. He has some crazy hand-washing ritual. He washes his hands several times a day for at least 5 minutes long each time. Ouch! He could wash his hands raw doing it that long! He also uses paper towels to open door handles. I've noticed that there are a lot of paper towels on the bathroom floor near the door. He must be a germaphobe, but he's a messy one. I've also noticed that he pees on the toilet instead of the urinals. He has really bad aim for a germaphobe. I have to clean up after his piss whenever I have to use the toilet. I clean up the toilet, the ground next to it, and put at least 2 toilet cover sheets on it. Yuck! Maybe that's why he washes his hands so much.

Another guy kept saying "Oh yeah, she's hot" while he was micturating. It's easy to know what he was thinking about!

I'm not saying that I'm not guilty of talking out loud when I thought I was alone. One time, when I was interning at the Court of Appeals in San Diego, I heard this female attorney say "I can hear you, you know". I was in the breakroom kitchen and I thought I was alone. I didn't check the break room itself. I became really embarassed. I had no idea what I was saying out loud. People must subconsciously talk out loud when they think they're alone.

I try not to embarass other people by keeping really quiet until they leave the restroom. I don't even make any noise by trying to wipe my butt by getting out the toilet paper. If they realize someone else is in there, they might get really embarassed. I stay in the stall until they leave the restroom. That way we can avoid any embarassing eye contact.

Since I'm on the subject of talking about coworkers, I'm really irritated with Brian Greenwood right now. He moonlights as a rockstar and I've even went to one of his concerts. I'm upset, because he says, "David Kim" and variations of my name a thousand times a day. I'm being serious too. He really says it every minute while I'm at work. I guess it all started the first day of work when he said, "David Kim" and I responded by saying "Hey, Brian". I guess he liked our little routine so much, he kept saying it ever since. One's name is supposed to be music to one's ears, but not when he says it. He's annoying as fingernails going down a chalkboard all day long every single day. Even with my saintly patience, I'm beginning to get majorly pissed off. Brian Greewood, if you're reading this post, shut the hell up!!!!!!!!!!!! I like the guy so I don't want to hurt his feelings. He also keeps asking me the same questions every single minute like "What are you eating for dinner tonight?" or "What are you doing tonight?" I'm trying to ignore him, but I keep hearing him say my name because he sits right next to me. He also thinks he's hilarious when he rapidly turns the lightswitch in one of the rooms on and off repeatedly. He says work is driving him crazy but he's making my blood pressure rise sky high. I liked my job because I didn't think it was too stressful, but now I'm getting really agitated.



Shut the @#$% up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!