My aunts and grandma.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Fun Things To Do
15 things to do at Wal-Mart, K-Mart or Target while your spouse/partner
is taking their sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when
they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3'
in housewares.....and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers
you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why
can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your
nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he
knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme
from "Mission Impossible."
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different
size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK
ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal
position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
And last but not least
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell
loudly "There is no toilet paper in here!"
is taking their sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when
they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3'
in housewares.....and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers
you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why
can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your
nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he
knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme
from "Mission Impossible."
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different
size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK
ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal
position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
And last but not least
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell
loudly "There is no toilet paper in here!"
Test for Dementia
Test for Dementia
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question.
You have to answer them instantly.
You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately.
OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are.
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)
First Question:
You are participating in a race.
You overtake the second person.
What position are you in?
Answer:
If you answered that you are first,
then you are absolutely wrong!
If you overtake the second person
and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to screw up in the next question.
To answer the second question, don't take as
much time as you took for the first question.
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer:
If you answered that you are second
to last, then you are wrong again.
Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
You're not very good at this! Are you?
Third Question:
Very tricky math!
Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator.
Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000.
Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20.
Now add another 1000 Now add 10.
What is the total?
Scroll down for answer.
Answer:
Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.
Don't believe it? Check with your calculator!
Today is definitely not your day.
Maybe you will get the last question right.
Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters:
1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Answer:
Nunu?
NO! Of course not.
Her name is Mary.
Read the question again
Okay, now the bonus round:
There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush.
By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth
he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper
and the purchase is done.
Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy
a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?
He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.
I got all of the questions wrong. I must have dementia.
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question.
You have to answer them instantly.
You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately.
OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are.
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)
First Question:
You are participating in a race.
You overtake the second person.
What position are you in?
Answer:
If you answered that you are first,
then you are absolutely wrong!
If you overtake the second person
and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to screw up in the next question.
To answer the second question, don't take as
much time as you took for the first question.
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer:
If you answered that you are second
to last, then you are wrong again.
Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
You're not very good at this! Are you?
Third Question:
Very tricky math!
Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator.
Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000.
Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20.
Now add another 1000 Now add 10.
What is the total?
Scroll down for answer.
Answer:
Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.
Don't believe it? Check with your calculator!
Today is definitely not your day.
Maybe you will get the last question right.
Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters:
1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Answer:
Nunu?
NO! Of course not.
Her name is Mary.
Read the question again
Okay, now the bonus round:
There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush.
By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth
he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper
and the purchase is done.
Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy
a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?
He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.
I got all of the questions wrong. I must have dementia.
Da Vinci Code
I'm reading the Da Vinci Code right now. It's a fun read, even though it's fiction. I've always been interested in church history. Some of the things mentioned in the book are real, however. The church did have a very dark history. Reading this book makes me want to study Christian history again.
I don't think a lot of the stuff written about Da Vinci was true. What I think is true is that there were a lot of other gospels written that the church did not like. I also thought the concept of the number Phi=1.618 being everywhere was very interesting. There's just a ton of interesting things in the book that Dan Brown talks about albeit briefly. It's a great mystery thriller.
I don't think a lot of the stuff written about Da Vinci was true. What I think is true is that there were a lot of other gospels written that the church did not like. I also thought the concept of the number Phi=1.618 being everywhere was very interesting. There's just a ton of interesting things in the book that Dan Brown talks about albeit briefly. It's a great mystery thriller.
Practice What You Preach
The light turned green, but the man didn't notice it. A woman
in the car behind him is watching traffic pass around them.
The woman begins pounding on her steering wheel and
yelling at the man to move. The man doesn't move.
The woman is going ballistic inside her car, ranting and
raving at the man, pounding on her steering wheel and
dash. The light turns yellow and the woman begins to
blow the car horn, flips him off, and screams profanity
and curses at the man.
The man, looks up, sees the yellow light and accelerates
through the intersection just as the light turns red.
The woman is beside herself, screaming in frustration as
she misses her chance to get through the intersection. As
she is still in mid-rant she hears a tap on her window and
looks up into the barrel of a gun held by a very serious
looking policeman.
The policeman tells her to shut off her car while keeping
both hands in sight. She complies, speechless at what is happening. After
she
shuts off the engine, the policeman
orders her to exit her car with her hands up.
She gets out of the car and he orders her to turn and place
her hands on her car then handcuffs her and takes her to
the police station where she is fingerprinted, photographed, searched, booked
and placed in a cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approaches the cell
and opens the door for her. She is escorted back to the
booking desk where the original officer is waiting with her
personal effects and says,
"I'm really sorry for this mistake. But you see, I pulled up
behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping
the guy off in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him.
I noticed the "Choose Life" license plate holder, the "What
Would Jesus Do" bumper sticker, the Follow Me to Sunday
School" bumper sticker, and the chrome plated Christian
fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had
stolen the car."
in the car behind him is watching traffic pass around them.
The woman begins pounding on her steering wheel and
yelling at the man to move. The man doesn't move.
The woman is going ballistic inside her car, ranting and
raving at the man, pounding on her steering wheel and
dash. The light turns yellow and the woman begins to
blow the car horn, flips him off, and screams profanity
and curses at the man.
The man, looks up, sees the yellow light and accelerates
through the intersection just as the light turns red.
The woman is beside herself, screaming in frustration as
she misses her chance to get through the intersection. As
she is still in mid-rant she hears a tap on her window and
looks up into the barrel of a gun held by a very serious
looking policeman.
The policeman tells her to shut off her car while keeping
both hands in sight. She complies, speechless at what is happening. After
she
shuts off the engine, the policeman
orders her to exit her car with her hands up.
She gets out of the car and he orders her to turn and place
her hands on her car then handcuffs her and takes her to
the police station where she is fingerprinted, photographed, searched, booked
and placed in a cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approaches the cell
and opens the door for her. She is escorted back to the
booking desk where the original officer is waiting with her
personal effects and says,
"I'm really sorry for this mistake. But you see, I pulled up
behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping
the guy off in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him.
I noticed the "Choose Life" license plate holder, the "What
Would Jesus Do" bumper sticker, the Follow Me to Sunday
School" bumper sticker, and the chrome plated Christian
fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had
stolen the car."
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Chinese Proverbs
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong; man with four balls cannot walk.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, only one screw to fill it.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Man who run in front of car get tired
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong; man with four balls cannot walk.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, only one screw to fill it.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Only in America
Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of
the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes
at
the front.
Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET
coke.
Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to
the
counters.
Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns of packages
of
eight.
Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so
well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking
creatures'.
Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER...Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't
they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes
at
the front.
Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET
coke.
Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to
the
counters.
Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns of packages
of
eight.
Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so
well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking
creatures'.
Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER...Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't
they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Monday, October 31, 2005
Sarah and I before Christine's Wedding
My sister got married on Sunday, October 23, 2005. It was a lovely wedding and there were a lot of friends and family that attended. Sarah and I were the gift attendants. We took some pictures, but I'll upload more pictures as I get them from other people.
Click on the title to see more pictures that we took on our Canon S400 digital camera. More pictures to come.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Euro-English
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather than
German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly,
this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when
the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make
words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which
have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be
reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with
"v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten
styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil
find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey
vunted in ze forst
plas.
Submitted by A.M.
English will be the official language of the European Union rather than
German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly,
this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when
the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make
words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which
have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be
reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with
"v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten
styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil
find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey
vunted in ze forst
plas.
Submitted by A.M.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
16 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK...
1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay.
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.
5. It encourages car pooling.
6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
8. It makes fellow employees look better.
9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch
break...
15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
16. Sitting "Bare ass" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as
gross.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay.
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.
5. It encourages car pooling.
6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
8. It makes fellow employees look better.
9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch
break...
15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
16. Sitting "Bare ass" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as
gross.
Used Vegetable Oil Powered Car
I want to get a car that runs on used vegetable oil. Ever since I've heard of people doing that, I've wanted to drive a car like that. Wouldn't that be awesome? You will need to buy a diesel engine car and get a vegetable oil conversion kit from places like www.greasecar.com
You go to places like Chinese restaurants and ask for their used vegetable oil (non-hydrogenated). Then, you pour the oil into a filter. After that you pour the filtered oil into your diesel engine car. An 1980's Mercedes 300TD would be a great car for this. Those old cars are cheap now and diesel engines last a very long time. With these conversion kits, you get 2 tanks-one for regular diesel fuel to start and warm the car and one tank to hold the vegetable oil.
Once you have a vegetable oil powered car, you will hardly ever have to go to the gas station again. You can get all your oil from restaurants. Once Sarah and I buy a house, I want to do this. Then, I can have a big filter and storage tank in our garage to hold all the vegetable oil fuel. Restaurant owners may be willing to help because you will be taking away their oil for free. Otherwise, they will have to pay a service to have them take the old oil away.
Diesel engines were originally created by Dr. Diesel to run on peanut oil. Later they were changed to run on petroleum. Now, with the conversion kits, they can run on vegetable oil again. These kits cost $500-$1,000. I think they'll pay for themselves within one year. You get the same gas mileage and same horsepower as running on regular diesel. Your car will also perform the same. There won't be any damage to your car either. You have to heat the vegetable oil first though. With the kit, you warm up the engine and the vegetable oil by starting your car with running the diesel fuel first. Otherwise, the vegetable oil will start to coagulate. Once the oil is warmed up, you flip a switch to vegetable oil. This is ingenious!
Thousands of people are already doing this. It's just not main stream yet. This is also environmentally friendly because cooking oil pollutes much less than petroleum based fuels. You can drive as much as you want because you can get the used cooking oil for free. That's ultimate freedom. It might be a hassle collecting and filtering the oil, but I think it will be well worth it.
Best of all, your car will smell like Chinese food or french fries, depending on where you get your vegetable oil. This smells a lot better than diesel and will make everyone in the neighborhood hungry.
Click on the title of this post to read an article from Car and Driver about vegetable oil diesel cars.
You go to places like Chinese restaurants and ask for their used vegetable oil (non-hydrogenated). Then, you pour the oil into a filter. After that you pour the filtered oil into your diesel engine car. An 1980's Mercedes 300TD would be a great car for this. Those old cars are cheap now and diesel engines last a very long time. With these conversion kits, you get 2 tanks-one for regular diesel fuel to start and warm the car and one tank to hold the vegetable oil.
Once you have a vegetable oil powered car, you will hardly ever have to go to the gas station again. You can get all your oil from restaurants. Once Sarah and I buy a house, I want to do this. Then, I can have a big filter and storage tank in our garage to hold all the vegetable oil fuel. Restaurant owners may be willing to help because you will be taking away their oil for free. Otherwise, they will have to pay a service to have them take the old oil away.
Diesel engines were originally created by Dr. Diesel to run on peanut oil. Later they were changed to run on petroleum. Now, with the conversion kits, they can run on vegetable oil again. These kits cost $500-$1,000. I think they'll pay for themselves within one year. You get the same gas mileage and same horsepower as running on regular diesel. Your car will also perform the same. There won't be any damage to your car either. You have to heat the vegetable oil first though. With the kit, you warm up the engine and the vegetable oil by starting your car with running the diesel fuel first. Otherwise, the vegetable oil will start to coagulate. Once the oil is warmed up, you flip a switch to vegetable oil. This is ingenious!
Thousands of people are already doing this. It's just not main stream yet. This is also environmentally friendly because cooking oil pollutes much less than petroleum based fuels. You can drive as much as you want because you can get the used cooking oil for free. That's ultimate freedom. It might be a hassle collecting and filtering the oil, but I think it will be well worth it.
Best of all, your car will smell like Chinese food or french fries, depending on where you get your vegetable oil. This smells a lot better than diesel and will make everyone in the neighborhood hungry.
Click on the title of this post to read an article from Car and Driver about vegetable oil diesel cars.
Some Feel Good Crap to Think About
The Best Things in Life are Free
> 1. Falling in love.
>
> 2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
>
> 3. A hot shower.
>
> 4. No lines at the supermarket.
>
> 5. A special glance.
>
> 6. Getting mail.
>
> 7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
>
> 8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
>
> 9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
>
> 10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
>
> 11. Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price.
>
> 12. Chocolate milkshake (or vanilla!) (or strawberry).
>
> 13. A long distance phone call.
>
> 14. A bubble bath.
>
> 15. Giggling.
>
> 16. A good conversation.
>
> 17. The beach.
>
> 18. Finding a $20 bill in your coat from last winter.
>
> 19. Laughing at yourself.
>
> 20. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
>
> 21. Running through sprinklers.
>
> 22. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
>
> 23. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
>
> 24. Laughing at an inside joke.
>
> 25. Friends.
>
> 26. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about
you.
>
> 27. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to
>sleep.
>
> 28. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new
partner).
>
> 29. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
>
> 30. Playing with a new puppy.
>
> 31. Having someone play with your hair.
>
> 32. Sweet dreams.
>
> 33. Hot chocolate.
>
> 34. Road trips with friends.
>
> 35. Swinging on swings.
>
> 36. Wrapping presents under the Christmas tree while eating
cookies
> and drinking your favorite hot toddy.
>
> 37. Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing
along
> without feeling stupid.
>
> 38. Going to a really good concert.
>
> 39. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
>
> 40. Winning a really competitive game.
>
> 41. Making chocolate chip cookies.
>
> 42. Having your friends send you home-made cookies.
>
> 43. Spending time with close friends.
>
> 44. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.
>
> 45. Holding hands with someone you care about.
>
> 46. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things
(good
>or
> bad) never change.
>
> 47. Riding the best roller coasters over and over.
>
> 48. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a
much
> desired present from you.
>
> 49. Watching the sunrise.
>
> 50. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for
another
> beautiful day.
> 1. Falling in love.
>
> 2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
>
> 3. A hot shower.
>
> 4. No lines at the supermarket.
>
> 5. A special glance.
>
> 6. Getting mail.
>
> 7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
>
> 8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
>
> 9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
>
> 10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
>
> 11. Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price.
>
> 12. Chocolate milkshake (or vanilla!) (or strawberry).
>
> 13. A long distance phone call.
>
> 14. A bubble bath.
>
> 15. Giggling.
>
> 16. A good conversation.
>
> 17. The beach.
>
> 18. Finding a $20 bill in your coat from last winter.
>
> 19. Laughing at yourself.
>
> 20. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
>
> 21. Running through sprinklers.
>
> 22. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
>
> 23. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
>
> 24. Laughing at an inside joke.
>
> 25. Friends.
>
> 26. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about
you.
>
> 27. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to
>sleep.
>
> 28. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new
partner).
>
> 29. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
>
> 30. Playing with a new puppy.
>
> 31. Having someone play with your hair.
>
> 32. Sweet dreams.
>
> 33. Hot chocolate.
>
> 34. Road trips with friends.
>
> 35. Swinging on swings.
>
> 36. Wrapping presents under the Christmas tree while eating
cookies
> and drinking your favorite hot toddy.
>
> 37. Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing
along
> without feeling stupid.
>
> 38. Going to a really good concert.
>
> 39. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
>
> 40. Winning a really competitive game.
>
> 41. Making chocolate chip cookies.
>
> 42. Having your friends send you home-made cookies.
>
> 43. Spending time with close friends.
>
> 44. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.
>
> 45. Holding hands with someone you care about.
>
> 46. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things
(good
>or
> bad) never change.
>
> 47. Riding the best roller coasters over and over.
>
> 48. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a
much
> desired present from you.
>
> 49. Watching the sunrise.
>
> 50. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for
another
> beautiful day.
Monday, October 17, 2005
The Lover
There was this woman that takes a lover during the day, while
her husband is at work. Without her knowing, her 9 year old son was
hiding in the closet. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she hides
the lover in the closet, where the little boy is also hiding.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover
end up in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
Man - remembering last time, asks, "How much?"
Boy - "$750."
Man - "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your ball and glove.
Let's go outside and toss the baseball."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says "$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that.
That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to
church and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again!"
her husband is at work. Without her knowing, her 9 year old son was
hiding in the closet. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she hides
the lover in the closet, where the little boy is also hiding.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover
end up in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
Man - remembering last time, asks, "How much?"
Boy - "$750."
Man - "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your ball and glove.
Let's go outside and toss the baseball."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says "$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that.
That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to
church and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again!"
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Monterey Park Classic Car Show
This was taken on October 15, 2005. We stopped by to take some pictures of some great classic and modified import cars. Click on the title of this post to see all the pictures. I'm sorry, but I'm lazy and the pictures are filed under Christine's party. I'm just too busy these days. You can also get access to see all my other pictures on my Yahoo Photo Album.
My Wife and My Baby Sister
At dinner, we ate, danced, played games, and drank. If you click on the title of this post, you can see all the pictures we took at the party. Christine played one game where she had to touch all the guys' legs, including mine, to see if she could tell which leg belonged to Sae Woon.
Christine's Post-Bridal Shower Party.
My baby sister, Christine, is getting married on October 23, 2005. My wife, Sarah, went to Christine's bridal shower on October 8, 2005. Sae Woon's sister, Sae Jin Jo, organized a bridal shower for my sister. They did whatever girls do at some spa. Afterwards, I joined them for dinner at Fox Sports Grill at the Irvine Spectrum. We had fun playing games.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Top 10 Ways to Say Your Zipper is Down
Top Ten Most Polite Ways to Say Your Zipper is Down by David Letterman
10. The cucumber has left the salad. >>> >>>
9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells. >>> >>>
8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked >>> position.
7. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson.. >>> >>>
6. Elvis is leaving the building. >>> >>>
5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage. >>> >>>
4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction. >>> >>>
3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones. >>> >>>
2. Men may be From Mars.....but I can see something that rhymes with >>> Venus.
And the #1 way to tell someone his zipper is
unzipped..... >>> >>> >>>
1. I always knew you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts. >>> >>> >> >
10. The cucumber has left the salad. >>> >>>
9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells. >>> >>>
8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked >>> position.
7. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson.. >>> >>>
6. Elvis is leaving the building. >>> >>>
5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage. >>> >>>
4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction. >>> >>>
3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones. >>> >>>
2. Men may be From Mars.....but I can see something that rhymes with >>> Venus.
And the #1 way to tell someone his zipper is
unzipped..... >>> >>> >>>
1. I always knew you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts. >>> >>> >> >
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)