Zuma Beach
Friday, February 10, 2006
Fastastic Four
After being affected by a cosmic storm in outer space, the friends are genetically mutated and gain superhuman powers. They each gain powers that fit their personalities. The inventor and scientist, Dr. Reed Richards, turns into Plastic Man. Jessica Alba turns into the Invisible Woman with force field powers. The hot-headed immature dare devil guy turns into the Human Torch who has the ability to fly. The tough guy in the group turns into a rocklike creature, The Thing. The arrogant billionaire, Victor Von Doom, turns into a metallic guy with Magneto powers, Dr. Doom.
Don't ask why and how the cosmic storm affected them this way to give them these unique powers. Just believe.
It's a fun and exciting movie if you don't question too much. It's pretty light-hearted and goofy. This is another popcorn movie that you just have to sit back and not think about too much. If you start questioning things, you'll hate it. If you just watch it for the special effects and action, it'll be okay. It doesn't hold a candle next to Spiderman and Batman Begins, but I think fans and kids will like it.
The story and writing seems to be targeted towards kids. The lines are so cheesey and corny. "Flame On!"? Come on, give me a break! These guys act like flamers just like the Power Rangers.
The Thing is so upset about his looks that he's constantly depressed. Even his wife left him and gave back the wedding ring. Too bad his rock fingers can't pick it up.
However, a black blind woman likes him for some reason and they fall in love. Hello! Did the Thing get a divorce yet? Dang, these adulterers!
In the end, Plastic Man gives Jessica Alba a gasket from the ship they were in as an engagement ring. I wish I could have gotten away with something like that.
A lot of things don't make sense in this movie. The Thing goes into the machine and changes back to Michael Chiklis. Then, he goes back into the machine after realizing he needs super powers to stop Dr. Doom and turns back into The Thing. Is it that easy to turn back? Why did Mr. Fantastic say that he will work on turning him back to normal at the end? Chiklis changed himself back and forth a couple times already. I don't want to list off all the other things in this movie that don't make sense. If I did, it will be a mile long. This movie is just like reading a comic book. You just have to accept all their explanations in order to enjoy it.
Pros: Some good special effects, an interesting action scene involving the fire truck on the bridge, and Jessica Alba having to take off all her clothes to be completely invisible.
Cons: Cheesy story, targeted towards juveniles, no real sense of danger or suspense.
My rating: C, 71.
Don't ask why and how the cosmic storm affected them this way to give them these unique powers. Just believe.
It's a fun and exciting movie if you don't question too much. It's pretty light-hearted and goofy. This is another popcorn movie that you just have to sit back and not think about too much. If you start questioning things, you'll hate it. If you just watch it for the special effects and action, it'll be okay. It doesn't hold a candle next to Spiderman and Batman Begins, but I think fans and kids will like it.
The story and writing seems to be targeted towards kids. The lines are so cheesey and corny. "Flame On!"? Come on, give me a break! These guys act like flamers just like the Power Rangers.
The Thing is so upset about his looks that he's constantly depressed. Even his wife left him and gave back the wedding ring. Too bad his rock fingers can't pick it up.
However, a black blind woman likes him for some reason and they fall in love. Hello! Did the Thing get a divorce yet? Dang, these adulterers!
In the end, Plastic Man gives Jessica Alba a gasket from the ship they were in as an engagement ring. I wish I could have gotten away with something like that.
A lot of things don't make sense in this movie. The Thing goes into the machine and changes back to Michael Chiklis. Then, he goes back into the machine after realizing he needs super powers to stop Dr. Doom and turns back into The Thing. Is it that easy to turn back? Why did Mr. Fantastic say that he will work on turning him back to normal at the end? Chiklis changed himself back and forth a couple times already. I don't want to list off all the other things in this movie that don't make sense. If I did, it will be a mile long. This movie is just like reading a comic book. You just have to accept all their explanations in order to enjoy it.
Pros: Some good special effects, an interesting action scene involving the fire truck on the bridge, and Jessica Alba having to take off all her clothes to be completely invisible.
Cons: Cheesy story, targeted towards juveniles, no real sense of danger or suspense.
My rating: C, 71.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Skate Rage
Last night when I was longboarding, some @#$%ing @$$hole threw a water bottle at me out of his car window as he was driving by. He missed. I didn't get hurt or wet. Fortunately for him, I wasn't in my car. Otherwise, I would have had major road rage, and who knows what I might have done to him. I wanted to hurt him really badly.
There's also this old guy in a new burgundy Mercedes E class who honks and yells at me angrily every once in awhile in the mornings. I hope he gets hurt too. He better leave me alone or I might throw my longboard into his car window.
As you guys may have seen from my xtreme skateboarding videos, it's dangerous. However, these idiot jerk drivers should not make it worse by trying to run me over or just plain driving rudely.
I'm in an extremely bad mood these days due to really serious things going on in my life right now. Any little thing can piss me off easily. I'm not the happy-go-lucky David anymore.
There's also this old guy in a new burgundy Mercedes E class who honks and yells at me angrily every once in awhile in the mornings. I hope he gets hurt too. He better leave me alone or I might throw my longboard into his car window.
As you guys may have seen from my xtreme skateboarding videos, it's dangerous. However, these idiot jerk drivers should not make it worse by trying to run me over or just plain driving rudely.
I'm in an extremely bad mood these days due to really serious things going on in my life right now. Any little thing can piss me off easily. I'm not the happy-go-lucky David anymore.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
My Window Won't Go Up and I have to Pee
Last time, I told you on my audioblog post about the driver's side window of our Hyundai that wouldn't go up. This time, the passenger side window wouldn't go up. We got 'em fixed and they costed us a few hundred bucks each time. Dang it!
I just went to see another doctor today to find out why I have to pee so much. I get up in the middle of the night to pee several times. I can't get deep sleep due to that. And, I go the bathroom several times during the middle of the day. It's quite embarrassing. I did some more blood and urine tests. I have to go back in a couple weeks to do some more tests. Geez!
Plus, there's a lot of other crap going on in my life that I don't want to write about at this time. When things start going bad, they all happen at once. Life sucks that way.
Mood:
I just went to see another doctor today to find out why I have to pee so much. I get up in the middle of the night to pee several times. I can't get deep sleep due to that. And, I go the bathroom several times during the middle of the day. It's quite embarrassing. I did some more blood and urine tests. I have to go back in a couple weeks to do some more tests. Geez!
Plus, there's a lot of other crap going on in my life that I don't want to write about at this time. When things start going bad, they all happen at once. Life sucks that way.
Mood:
The Italian Job
Talk about a fun movie to watch! These good guy thieves had an ingenious plan to steal $35 million in gold bullion in Venice, Italy. They getaway with the gold until one of their own members double crosses them. They come up with an amazing plan to steal the gold back from the betrayer. The plan includes hacking into the L.A. traffic system and changing all the stoplights. I thought the way the story was told was brilliant. Okay, it's not entirely realistic, but what movie is? I haven't seen any action movie that is possible in real life.
The gang includes a computer hacking whiz, an explosives expert, a getaway driver (the guy from The Transporter), a criminal mastermind played by Mark Whalberg, and a beautiful safecracker played by Charlize Thereon.
At times, the movie is light-hearted, at other times, suspenseful. But, it was cool to watch the whole time. It's clever and witty.
My rating: A-, 90.
The gang includes a computer hacking whiz, an explosives expert, a getaway driver (the guy from The Transporter), a criminal mastermind played by Mark Whalberg, and a beautiful safecracker played by Charlize Thereon.
At times, the movie is light-hearted, at other times, suspenseful. But, it was cool to watch the whole time. It's clever and witty.
My rating: A-, 90.
Monday, February 06, 2006
2 Fast 2 Furious
2 Fast 2 Flawed or 2 Slow 2 Calm? This sequel to The Fast and The Furious has more illegal street racing than the original, but is just as bad plot wise. I thought there were more exciting racing sequences than the first. Anyone who has even seen the commercials know that this movie is more about the cars than anything else. The story is just filler for the rollercoaster ride this movie makes.
It has corny acting. Dare I say Vin Diesel makes the first one better? The story is utterly goofy.
This is about pure eye candy. The cars are hot. Anyone who is into the import tuning scene will probably get it. And everyone is into this billion dollar aftermarket car industry. Everyone in the 16-24 target demographic, that is.
I love fixed up rides. Some of the car racing scenes are ridiculous too. The racing looks over the top just like the slammed cars in this movie. Oh well. It's fun just admiring the cars though.
Don't watch this for the story. Watch it for the pretty little cars.
My rating: D, 65.
It has corny acting. Dare I say Vin Diesel makes the first one better? The story is utterly goofy.
This is about pure eye candy. The cars are hot. Anyone who is into the import tuning scene will probably get it. And everyone is into this billion dollar aftermarket car industry. Everyone in the 16-24 target demographic, that is.
I love fixed up rides. Some of the car racing scenes are ridiculous too. The racing looks over the top just like the slammed cars in this movie. Oh well. It's fun just admiring the cars though.
Don't watch this for the story. Watch it for the pretty little cars.
My rating: D, 65.
Chronicles of Riddick
This Riddickulous movie is what you get when you put Vin Diesel in a Star Wars type film. He plays his typical tough-guy self and blows everyone up. Some actors play the same character over and over again in different movies. I don't even know if they're acting or just being themselves. Diesel is definitely someone who is the same no matter what movie he's in.
Chronicles of Riddick is the sequel to Pitch Black. Riddick is a bad-ass dude who thinks he can kick everyone's rear end. Of course, he does since he stars in all those movies.
A goth religious group called the Necromongers (the name alone make my eyes roll in disdain) seek to travel the universe converting everyone to their religion. Apparently, they are seeking a type of afterlife world called the Underverse. The Underverse comes from a verse that isn't written but hidden in their own bible. The main evil bad guy is the only one to have visited Underverse, and now he's half-human and half-ghost.
All the bounty hunters are after Riddick for some reason. Riddick wants to find out why and who put the bounty on his head. He finally gets caught and is sent to a prison planet called Crematorium that gets fiery hot when the sun hits the surface.
Riddick is cold, calm, ruthless, and efficient at killing. He cares about no one except this one girl who worships him. She's supposed to be one of the survivors from the first movie.
This movie had great special effects and action. Too bad the movie didn't make much sense. I find this to be true with most action movies though.
This one bad guy with the over-ambitious wife who tried to kill the main evil bad guy ends up bowing down to Riddick when he kills him at the end. Riddick wouldn't be able to kill him without his help though, nor without the help of the girl. The evil guy is like a ghost. He can only be killed while distracted by someone else. Otherwise he can sense you coming from a mile away.
Finally, Riddick becomes head of the Necromongers. He remembers their motto, "Keep what you kill" or something like that. Will he carry on the Necromonger crusades or will he do something else? It looks like we could be looking at a trilogy based upon the ending of this film.
My rating: C, 78.
I liked the videogame, Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay a lot. That game is about Riddick getting out of a different gritty prison planet. In the movie, they mention this place when deciding on where to take Riddick.
Chronicles of Riddick is the sequel to Pitch Black. Riddick is a bad-ass dude who thinks he can kick everyone's rear end. Of course, he does since he stars in all those movies.
A goth religious group called the Necromongers (the name alone make my eyes roll in disdain) seek to travel the universe converting everyone to their religion. Apparently, they are seeking a type of afterlife world called the Underverse. The Underverse comes from a verse that isn't written but hidden in their own bible. The main evil bad guy is the only one to have visited Underverse, and now he's half-human and half-ghost.
All the bounty hunters are after Riddick for some reason. Riddick wants to find out why and who put the bounty on his head. He finally gets caught and is sent to a prison planet called Crematorium that gets fiery hot when the sun hits the surface.
Riddick is cold, calm, ruthless, and efficient at killing. He cares about no one except this one girl who worships him. She's supposed to be one of the survivors from the first movie.
This movie had great special effects and action. Too bad the movie didn't make much sense. I find this to be true with most action movies though.
This one bad guy with the over-ambitious wife who tried to kill the main evil bad guy ends up bowing down to Riddick when he kills him at the end. Riddick wouldn't be able to kill him without his help though, nor without the help of the girl. The evil guy is like a ghost. He can only be killed while distracted by someone else. Otherwise he can sense you coming from a mile away.
Finally, Riddick becomes head of the Necromongers. He remembers their motto, "Keep what you kill" or something like that. Will he carry on the Necromonger crusades or will he do something else? It looks like we could be looking at a trilogy based upon the ending of this film.
My rating: C, 78.
I liked the videogame, Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay a lot. That game is about Riddick getting out of a different gritty prison planet. In the movie, they mention this place when deciding on where to take Riddick.
Constantine
Constantine in Hell
Sometimes, or most of the time, I enjoy watching popcorn movies. By this I mean movies that you just watch for the visual effects alone without having to think too much. You just sit back and enjoy the ride. Since I'm writing movie reviews, however, I feel that I need to analyze and rate the movies that I watch.
Constantine is definitely one of those popcorn movies. It's possible to enjoy it if you like sci-fi and action. I found that I was asking to many questions while I was watching it though. It was hard to make sense of the plot.
John Constantine (Keanu Reeves) is an exorcist who has the ability to see demons and angels. He doesn't appreciate this gift he has and once ended his life because he couldn't stand seeing all these demons all over the place. He has seen things humans aren't meant to see. He goes to hell because he committed suicide, but gets a second chance at life. He hopes to earn his way to heaven by sending the demons that try to enter the earthly realm back to hell.
This movie is based on a DC Comics series, but I'm not familiar with it. Constantine is better off being a comic book. As a movie, I don' think it would have enough appeal to a wider audience.
It appears that God and Satan have made a wager to see who will go to heaven and who will go to hell. The angels and demons can only encourage or discourage humans by whispering thoughts into their minds. They are not allowed to interfere physically. Things start to change as demons start entering into the physical realm.
In the end, Constantine sacrifices himself by trading his life so that another woman's soul can leave hell and eternal torment and enter heaven. By doing this, he earns his place in heaven. He starts getting raptured into heaven. The devil is furious as he begins rising up. Constantine gives Satan the finger while he's floating up, and this pisses the devil off. He's so mad that he grabs onto Constantine and puts his hands into Constantine's lungs'. The devil cures Constantine's lung cancer and now Constantine is alive and well again. After Satan and the great archangel Gabriel fight it out, Gabriel gets blasted by Satan's fire spell. Somehow Gabriel loses her angelhood and becomes human, perhaps because God is upset with her constant interference. After Gabriel loses her wings, Constantine punches her face really hard. Then, Constantine goes on with his life and continues exorcising and sending demons back to hell. He stops smoking cigarettes and starts chewing nicotine gum.
This movie just didn't make sense. It seemed to be a mish mash of other movies like the Matrix and the Exorcist. I think the plot sucked. It had an interesting premise, but the movie just didn't live up to the great ideas that the producers were hoping to portray.
My rating: F, 57.
Friday, February 03, 2006
Underworld: Evolution
Vampires and werewolves. . .oh my! Kate Beckinsale stars in this crapola of a film as a death dealing vampire. She falls in love with a vampire/werewolf hybrid. They've got to stop a lunatic super vampire who is trying to set his twin brother, who happens to be a werewolf, free from a catacomb.
This movie has a lot of action, gore, and blood, but none of it really meshes together to make an exciting film. I haven't seen the first movie Underworld, but I don't think I'd want to after watching this sequel. There were some suspenseful scenes, but that was only my own anticipation for something exciting to happen. Unfortunately, nothing much really came of it.
This movie is filled with cliches galore. Everything you've seen in this movie, you've seen somewhere else and probably were better than this. Vampires' skin burn when exposed to sunlight. Werewolves are ugly wolf men. The movie was entirely predictable. Blah. This movie just appeals to vamps, goths, immature teens, and maybe some geeks and nerds who like this stuff. I don't think anyone else will like this movie at all.
The acting is pretty sterile. This a major contributing factor to the boredom this movie produces. The script itself is probably the biggest reason for its failure. It's idiotic.
As with most movies like this, you have to suspend your imagination. But, with this movie, you have to shut down your entire brain to watch this. There are so many dumb things in this film, that I don't have enough space to list them all. Just one of the examples is how the werewolf survived for 3 centuries locked up in a tomb. He just gets up and attacks like nothing happened. The first vampire was supposed to be the most powerful, but he commits suicide by blowing himself up instead of just toughing it out and healing himself like all the other vampires. Kate Beckinsale just healed herself after being wounded just like the other main vampire who grew wings. Why couldn't he just do heal himself if he's so powerful? Why'd he let Kate drink his blood so that she can evolve into "The Future"? I guess this movie was just meant to be watched and not thought about too much. It's too bad that the movie is not much to look at either.
Another complaint I have with the dumb storyline is that these movies all promote the theory that people turn into things that they were bitten by. For example, in this movie, one twin was bitten by a bat, and so he turned into a vampire. The other twin was bitten by a wolf, and so he turned into a werewolf (Lycan). Hasn't anyone else bitten bitten by these animals before? They know they're not going to turn into vampires or werewolves after being bitten by them. I've been bitten by a dog before. I didn't turn into a weredog. I've been bitten by my cat before. I didn't turn into catman. I've been bitten by a spider. I didn't turn into spiderman. I've been bitten by ants. I didn't turn into antman. I've been bitten by mosquitos. I didn't turn into mosquitoman. Okay, enough of that crap. I bet that if I get bitten by a fruitbat, I'm not going to turn into a vampire that sucks the nectar out of fruits.
My rating: F, 50.
This movie has a lot of action, gore, and blood, but none of it really meshes together to make an exciting film. I haven't seen the first movie Underworld, but I don't think I'd want to after watching this sequel. There were some suspenseful scenes, but that was only my own anticipation for something exciting to happen. Unfortunately, nothing much really came of it.
This movie is filled with cliches galore. Everything you've seen in this movie, you've seen somewhere else and probably were better than this. Vampires' skin burn when exposed to sunlight. Werewolves are ugly wolf men. The movie was entirely predictable. Blah. This movie just appeals to vamps, goths, immature teens, and maybe some geeks and nerds who like this stuff. I don't think anyone else will like this movie at all.
The acting is pretty sterile. This a major contributing factor to the boredom this movie produces. The script itself is probably the biggest reason for its failure. It's idiotic.
As with most movies like this, you have to suspend your imagination. But, with this movie, you have to shut down your entire brain to watch this. There are so many dumb things in this film, that I don't have enough space to list them all. Just one of the examples is how the werewolf survived for 3 centuries locked up in a tomb. He just gets up and attacks like nothing happened. The first vampire was supposed to be the most powerful, but he commits suicide by blowing himself up instead of just toughing it out and healing himself like all the other vampires. Kate Beckinsale just healed herself after being wounded just like the other main vampire who grew wings. Why couldn't he just do heal himself if he's so powerful? Why'd he let Kate drink his blood so that she can evolve into "The Future"? I guess this movie was just meant to be watched and not thought about too much. It's too bad that the movie is not much to look at either.
Another complaint I have with the dumb storyline is that these movies all promote the theory that people turn into things that they were bitten by. For example, in this movie, one twin was bitten by a bat, and so he turned into a vampire. The other twin was bitten by a wolf, and so he turned into a werewolf (Lycan). Hasn't anyone else bitten bitten by these animals before? They know they're not going to turn into vampires or werewolves after being bitten by them. I've been bitten by a dog before. I didn't turn into a weredog. I've been bitten by my cat before. I didn't turn into catman. I've been bitten by a spider. I didn't turn into spiderman. I've been bitten by ants. I didn't turn into antman. I've been bitten by mosquitos. I didn't turn into mosquitoman. Okay, enough of that crap. I bet that if I get bitten by a fruitbat, I'm not going to turn into a vampire that sucks the nectar out of fruits.
My rating: F, 50.
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