Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Memoirs of a Geisha
This is a Japanese Cinderella-type story starring the girls from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. The movie is beautifully shot, but the actors and actresses' fobby accents ruin it.
Ziyi Zhang stars as Sayuri. After their mom kicks the bucket, their poor fisherman bastard of a dad sells Zhang and her older sister to geisha houses.
Zhang runs around the streets trying to find her older sis until finally she finds her one day. Her sis tells her to meet her at the bridge the next day so that they can run away together. Zhang sneaks out in the middle of the night, but falls off the roof and gets hurt. Her sis runs away without her --never to be heard from ever again.
Now, Zhang is in deeper crap because she is in further debt to the mother geisha for her doctor's bills.
Zhang, who is about 12 years old, cries on a small bridge. Ken Watanabe sees her and buys her some cherry flavored shaved ice. She is so happy that someone in the world showed her some kindness that she falls in love with Ken. She vows to do whatever it takes to meet him again. That's pretty sick since Ken's kinda old. But, I guess guys like younger women.
Zhang grows up to be a beautiful geisha. She has green eyes or so they say. They keep saying her eyes look like water. Her eyes looked brown to me, just like all the other Asians. I've never seen any full Asian with green eyes before.
Michelle Yeoh takes Zhang under her wing as her older sister. She trains her how to be a true geisha. Michelle makes a bet with Zhang's mother geisha that Zhang will be able to pay off her debt within 6 months. If she loses, she'll pay twice her debt. That's a wager she can not turn down. It's a win win sitution for her. No one has ever paid off their debt so quickly. Not even, Michelle--who paid off her debt when she was 20! Amazing. That's a world record.
One day, Michelle and Ziyi walk down the street. A true geisha can make a man stop in his tracks with just one look. Ziyi flutters her eyes at one boy on a bike and he crashes into a chicken wagon. Ziyi now has the power of a geisha.
The baron is also enchanted by her performance. He asks her to go into his palace, 'cuz he has a beautiful kimono he wants to show her. What a dumb girl. Anybody knows that when someone wants to show a girl something in his place, he has some other plan in mind. The baron is apparently an expert in kimonos and taking them off. He keeps spinning her around until her kimono comes off and she's naked. Ziyi starts crying, "Please, don't rape me." The baron loves pretty girls. He wants to do it, but let's her go. Perhaps, he has sympathy for her since she's sobbing her eyes out. "Hmmphh." He thinks. "I usually always get what I want."
Later on, in order to raise funds to pay off her debt, Michelle tells Ziyi to flirt with all the powerful rich guys. They start a bidding war for her virginity. The old ass doctor wins, so he gets to sleep with her. When Ziyi goes back home, the mother geisha says that she is now a true geisha. Damn!
Meanwhile, Gong Li, who has been jealous of Ziyi ever since she was a little girl, has been spreading rumors of Ziyi's impurity. At first, the old doctor was disgusted because he heard that Ziyi slept with so many guys including smelly fishermen. After her knock-out geisha show starring Ziyi, she becomes Japan's most famous celebrity geisha. Geisha means an artist in Japanese. Geishas are not just your average ordinary prostitutes. They are highly skilled artists, singers, and dancers who specialize in entertaining rich and powerful men.
Ziyi gives a small red box to the old doctor, which means that she wants him, and whispers in his ear that she should listen to his own advice and seek a second opinion before making a judgment. They laugh and then the old grandpa takes her virginity as his prize.
Ziyi wants to hook up with Ken, but Ken wants to set her up with his burnt faced friend, because his friend saved his life during battle. Ken wants his burnt faced friend to be happy by getting laid by a pretty geisha.
The Americans come and occupy Japan. They introduce Ziyi to a wealthy white colonel and say that she is "The Mystery of the Orient". In one of the most awkward and corniest lines I've ever had to endure, Ziyi says in her broken Engrish, "Pehaps you can be the one to solve the mystery." Ah ha ha! What the hell kinda lame line is that?
I think they've taken the geisha as a master haiku poet and conversationalist thing too far in this movie. Some of the lines were just too awkward in this movie. It might have made a good book, but it was too contrived as lines in a movie.
I thought the acting was good. It was just the fact that they had to speak in their broken Engrish that made it awkward to watch.
Going back to where I left off, at the hot tub scene (there's no full nudity, by the way), Ziyi comes up with a plan to make the burnt faced guy jealous and not like her anymore. The burnt faced guy wants her all to himself. Ziyi asks her friend Pumpkin to bring the burnt faced guy to her room at exactly 9 o'clock. Ziyi starts taking off the white colonel's pants in a hurry. He starts trying to have sex with her and then she tells him to wait. She's trying to time it exactly so that the burnt faced guy will walk in on them right when they're about to do it. She doesn't want to have actual sex with the white colonel. But, she can't hold him back. He starts doing his nasty thing to her. Then, Ken walks in on them. Ziyi is shocked. She asks Pumpkin why she brought Ken instead of Ken's burnt faced friend. Pumpkin replies that she wants her to feel how she felt when Ziyi took the only thing that mattered to her away from her many years ago when they were kids. Ziyi became adopted by the mother geisha and Pumpkin's chance was lost when Ziyi became so successful. Ahhh, sweet revenge.
Ziyi lost all hope one by one just like how the cherry blossom leaves fall off one by one during winter. So poetic.
One day, Ken visits her in the cherry blossom garden. She tells him how she fell in love with him as a little kid when he bought her that cherry flavored shaved ice. Everything she did in her life was done in order to help her meet him again. She gave all her money to Buddha after he bought her that shaved ice. She prayed to Buddha to let her meet him once again. Buddha answered her prayers. Praise Buddha!
Ken says that he always knew that it was her. In fact, he was the patron that helped her when she was growing up. Oh my gosh! How sweet! They kiss and walk through the garden.
This movie was beautiful to look at. The scenery was breathtaking. The geishas in the movie were nice to look at too. I've always thought geishas were ugly when I saw pictures of them before. They looked like Japanese female clowns to me. I just didn't like their nasty white make up. I like women to look natural.
The Highs: Beautiful scenery, artistically crafted, good acting.
The Lows: Chinglish accents. The books poetic writing didn't work well as lines for the movie. Their lines were awkward.
The Verdict: Japanese Cinderella story. She's not pure as Snow White though.
My rating: 75, C.
Ziyi Zhang stars as Sayuri. After their mom kicks the bucket, their poor fisherman bastard of a dad sells Zhang and her older sister to geisha houses.
Zhang runs around the streets trying to find her older sis until finally she finds her one day. Her sis tells her to meet her at the bridge the next day so that they can run away together. Zhang sneaks out in the middle of the night, but falls off the roof and gets hurt. Her sis runs away without her --never to be heard from ever again.
Now, Zhang is in deeper crap because she is in further debt to the mother geisha for her doctor's bills.
Zhang, who is about 12 years old, cries on a small bridge. Ken Watanabe sees her and buys her some cherry flavored shaved ice. She is so happy that someone in the world showed her some kindness that she falls in love with Ken. She vows to do whatever it takes to meet him again. That's pretty sick since Ken's kinda old. But, I guess guys like younger women.
Zhang grows up to be a beautiful geisha. She has green eyes or so they say. They keep saying her eyes look like water. Her eyes looked brown to me, just like all the other Asians. I've never seen any full Asian with green eyes before.
Michelle Yeoh takes Zhang under her wing as her older sister. She trains her how to be a true geisha. Michelle makes a bet with Zhang's mother geisha that Zhang will be able to pay off her debt within 6 months. If she loses, she'll pay twice her debt. That's a wager she can not turn down. It's a win win sitution for her. No one has ever paid off their debt so quickly. Not even, Michelle--who paid off her debt when she was 20! Amazing. That's a world record.
One day, Michelle and Ziyi walk down the street. A true geisha can make a man stop in his tracks with just one look. Ziyi flutters her eyes at one boy on a bike and he crashes into a chicken wagon. Ziyi now has the power of a geisha.
The baron is also enchanted by her performance. He asks her to go into his palace, 'cuz he has a beautiful kimono he wants to show her. What a dumb girl. Anybody knows that when someone wants to show a girl something in his place, he has some other plan in mind. The baron is apparently an expert in kimonos and taking them off. He keeps spinning her around until her kimono comes off and she's naked. Ziyi starts crying, "Please, don't rape me." The baron loves pretty girls. He wants to do it, but let's her go. Perhaps, he has sympathy for her since she's sobbing her eyes out. "Hmmphh." He thinks. "I usually always get what I want."
Later on, in order to raise funds to pay off her debt, Michelle tells Ziyi to flirt with all the powerful rich guys. They start a bidding war for her virginity. The old ass doctor wins, so he gets to sleep with her. When Ziyi goes back home, the mother geisha says that she is now a true geisha. Damn!
Meanwhile, Gong Li, who has been jealous of Ziyi ever since she was a little girl, has been spreading rumors of Ziyi's impurity. At first, the old doctor was disgusted because he heard that Ziyi slept with so many guys including smelly fishermen. After her knock-out geisha show starring Ziyi, she becomes Japan's most famous celebrity geisha. Geisha means an artist in Japanese. Geishas are not just your average ordinary prostitutes. They are highly skilled artists, singers, and dancers who specialize in entertaining rich and powerful men.
Ziyi gives a small red box to the old doctor, which means that she wants him, and whispers in his ear that she should listen to his own advice and seek a second opinion before making a judgment. They laugh and then the old grandpa takes her virginity as his prize.
Ziyi wants to hook up with Ken, but Ken wants to set her up with his burnt faced friend, because his friend saved his life during battle. Ken wants his burnt faced friend to be happy by getting laid by a pretty geisha.
The Americans come and occupy Japan. They introduce Ziyi to a wealthy white colonel and say that she is "The Mystery of the Orient". In one of the most awkward and corniest lines I've ever had to endure, Ziyi says in her broken Engrish, "Pehaps you can be the one to solve the mystery." Ah ha ha! What the hell kinda lame line is that?
I think they've taken the geisha as a master haiku poet and conversationalist thing too far in this movie. Some of the lines were just too awkward in this movie. It might have made a good book, but it was too contrived as lines in a movie.
I thought the acting was good. It was just the fact that they had to speak in their broken Engrish that made it awkward to watch.
Going back to where I left off, at the hot tub scene (there's no full nudity, by the way), Ziyi comes up with a plan to make the burnt faced guy jealous and not like her anymore. The burnt faced guy wants her all to himself. Ziyi asks her friend Pumpkin to bring the burnt faced guy to her room at exactly 9 o'clock. Ziyi starts taking off the white colonel's pants in a hurry. He starts trying to have sex with her and then she tells him to wait. She's trying to time it exactly so that the burnt faced guy will walk in on them right when they're about to do it. She doesn't want to have actual sex with the white colonel. But, she can't hold him back. He starts doing his nasty thing to her. Then, Ken walks in on them. Ziyi is shocked. She asks Pumpkin why she brought Ken instead of Ken's burnt faced friend. Pumpkin replies that she wants her to feel how she felt when Ziyi took the only thing that mattered to her away from her many years ago when they were kids. Ziyi became adopted by the mother geisha and Pumpkin's chance was lost when Ziyi became so successful. Ahhh, sweet revenge.
Ziyi lost all hope one by one just like how the cherry blossom leaves fall off one by one during winter. So poetic.
One day, Ken visits her in the cherry blossom garden. She tells him how she fell in love with him as a little kid when he bought her that cherry flavored shaved ice. Everything she did in her life was done in order to help her meet him again. She gave all her money to Buddha after he bought her that shaved ice. She prayed to Buddha to let her meet him once again. Buddha answered her prayers. Praise Buddha!
Ken says that he always knew that it was her. In fact, he was the patron that helped her when she was growing up. Oh my gosh! How sweet! They kiss and walk through the garden.
This movie was beautiful to look at. The scenery was breathtaking. The geishas in the movie were nice to look at too. I've always thought geishas were ugly when I saw pictures of them before. They looked like Japanese female clowns to me. I just didn't like their nasty white make up. I like women to look natural.
The Highs: Beautiful scenery, artistically crafted, good acting.
The Lows: Chinglish accents. The books poetic writing didn't work well as lines for the movie. Their lines were awkward.
The Verdict: Japanese Cinderella story. She's not pure as Snow White though.
My rating: 75, C.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
If you want a swashbuckling good time, watch Master and Commander.
Russell Crowe stars as Captain "Lucky" Jack Aubrey. This is set during the Napoleonic wars. Crowe plays a cunning English sea captain that is commissioned to sink, burn, or take the French Man O' War, the Acheron, as a prize. The Acheron is a much faster and larger ship with more crew members and cannons. Crowe has to use his ingenius naval warfare abilites to hunt it down and stop it.
At first, the Acheron attacks Crowe's ship, the HMS Surprise, by taking them by surprise by hiding in the fog. The Surprise takes a lot of damage and several of the crew are badly injured. One little midshipman, Lord Blakeney, a 12 year old kid has to get his arm amputated. The primitive surgery back then was scary. The only thing the kid had was a piece of wood to bite on. They sawed off his arm without anasthesia. He makes me look like a baby when I chickened out of my dentist's appointment awhile ago, because I found out I wasn't going to get general anasthesia to pull out all 4 of my wisdom teeth. The kid was tough cookie. He just chewed hard on the piece of wood and didn't cry.
Captain Crowe then manages a way to get his ship back into the fog to hide from the Acheron. Another time, he constructs a raft with sails to make it look like the HMS Surprise. They get away in the middle of the night.
They sail around Brazil and visit the Galapagos Islands. Paul Bettany plays Crowe's friend, the ship's doctor. He is a naturalist and cautions him saying that seeking revenge against the Acheron may cloud his judgment and endanger the entire crew.
During one of the storms, Crowe had to decide whether to save one of the sailors who fell overboard or save the whole ship that was sinking. While wearing his Napoleon hat, Crowe had the difficult decision of having to choose between the lesser of two evils.
Although this wasn't a pirate movie, it reminded me of one of my favorite videogames, Pirates. In the game, I learned about different ships and the rules of sailing.
One complaint I had was that it was hard to hear and understand what people were saying sometimes. I find that to be true with many movies. Actors should enunciate better or the sound editors need to do a better job. It's especially difficult to hear when they're talking fast with a thick British accent. Sometimes, people are talking too softly. Talk better, people!
I thought the movie was well made, overall, but I would never want to be on a ship like that in real life. I'd probably be puking all over the place everyday for many months. After our senior class trip in college when we went deep sea fishing, I swore that I would never go on a boat ever again. I still plan to keep that promise. God, I still have painful memories of that tragic day when all of us were blowing chunks non-stop for 8 hours.
Another big reason, I wouldn't want to be on that boat would be that it's filled with about 200 stinky sailors and no women. That would be one of the worst prisons to be on. A rolling puke inducing prison where all the guys haven't taken showers since they first boarded the ship. How did they keep the food from spoiling after long trips without refrigeration? The food must have been terrible. What were the sleeping conditions like? Unimaginably awful, I assume. What about the bathrooms? I have to go the bathroom a lot and I bet the conditions would be pretty bad. You better pray you don't get hurt or if you do, you better pray that you die instantly during sea battles. Otherwise, you'd get surgery with unsanitary instruments. Can you imagine them sawing your arm off with a dull dirty knife? Yoinks!
I'm glad it's just a movie. If I had to board that ship for Her Majesty's service, I'd probably jump off and drown just like that one dork did in the movie.
The highs: Realistic naval battles, great epic feel.
The lows: 197 sweaty stinkin' sailors. Hard to understand what people are saying at times.
The Verdict: A swashbuckling epic without pirates.
My rating: 88, B.
Russell Crowe stars as Captain "Lucky" Jack Aubrey. This is set during the Napoleonic wars. Crowe plays a cunning English sea captain that is commissioned to sink, burn, or take the French Man O' War, the Acheron, as a prize. The Acheron is a much faster and larger ship with more crew members and cannons. Crowe has to use his ingenius naval warfare abilites to hunt it down and stop it.
At first, the Acheron attacks Crowe's ship, the HMS Surprise, by taking them by surprise by hiding in the fog. The Surprise takes a lot of damage and several of the crew are badly injured. One little midshipman, Lord Blakeney, a 12 year old kid has to get his arm amputated. The primitive surgery back then was scary. The only thing the kid had was a piece of wood to bite on. They sawed off his arm without anasthesia. He makes me look like a baby when I chickened out of my dentist's appointment awhile ago, because I found out I wasn't going to get general anasthesia to pull out all 4 of my wisdom teeth. The kid was tough cookie. He just chewed hard on the piece of wood and didn't cry.
Captain Crowe then manages a way to get his ship back into the fog to hide from the Acheron. Another time, he constructs a raft with sails to make it look like the HMS Surprise. They get away in the middle of the night.
They sail around Brazil and visit the Galapagos Islands. Paul Bettany plays Crowe's friend, the ship's doctor. He is a naturalist and cautions him saying that seeking revenge against the Acheron may cloud his judgment and endanger the entire crew.
During one of the storms, Crowe had to decide whether to save one of the sailors who fell overboard or save the whole ship that was sinking. While wearing his Napoleon hat, Crowe had the difficult decision of having to choose between the lesser of two evils.
Although this wasn't a pirate movie, it reminded me of one of my favorite videogames, Pirates. In the game, I learned about different ships and the rules of sailing.
One complaint I had was that it was hard to hear and understand what people were saying sometimes. I find that to be true with many movies. Actors should enunciate better or the sound editors need to do a better job. It's especially difficult to hear when they're talking fast with a thick British accent. Sometimes, people are talking too softly. Talk better, people!
I thought the movie was well made, overall, but I would never want to be on a ship like that in real life. I'd probably be puking all over the place everyday for many months. After our senior class trip in college when we went deep sea fishing, I swore that I would never go on a boat ever again. I still plan to keep that promise. God, I still have painful memories of that tragic day when all of us were blowing chunks non-stop for 8 hours.
Another big reason, I wouldn't want to be on that boat would be that it's filled with about 200 stinky sailors and no women. That would be one of the worst prisons to be on. A rolling puke inducing prison where all the guys haven't taken showers since they first boarded the ship. How did they keep the food from spoiling after long trips without refrigeration? The food must have been terrible. What were the sleeping conditions like? Unimaginably awful, I assume. What about the bathrooms? I have to go the bathroom a lot and I bet the conditions would be pretty bad. You better pray you don't get hurt or if you do, you better pray that you die instantly during sea battles. Otherwise, you'd get surgery with unsanitary instruments. Can you imagine them sawing your arm off with a dull dirty knife? Yoinks!
I'm glad it's just a movie. If I had to board that ship for Her Majesty's service, I'd probably jump off and drown just like that one dork did in the movie.
The highs: Realistic naval battles, great epic feel.
The lows: 197 sweaty stinkin' sailors. Hard to understand what people are saying at times.
The Verdict: A swashbuckling epic without pirates.
My rating: 88, B.
The Constant Gardener
The Constant Gardener and his wife, Tess.
I don't like gardening, but I liked this movie. Don't worry. The movie isn't really about gardening at all.
The movie is based on the bestselling novel by John Le Carre. The story contains elements of romance, spy thriller, and social commentary on pharmaceutical companies. I liked the nonlinear storytelling in this movie. It worked for me. This movie was like watching a mystery novel. Although, it was kinda obvious to me that the big evil pharmaceutical company was behind the murders.
**********Spoiler Alert*******************************
Oh, by the way, this review contains spoilers just like all my movie reviews do.
******************************************************
Ralph Fiennes stars as John Quayle, a British diplomat. Rachel Weisz stars as Tessa.
Ms. Weisz won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress in 2006.
Quayle is a quiet British diplomat that loves to garden. He is very diplomatic in that he doesn't like to offend anyone. While giving a speech, he meets Tessa. Tess starts arguing with him. Later she apologizes. She invites him over for a cup of hot coffee.
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas' infamous "Hot Coffee" mod that stirred up so much controversy recently seemed to be profoundly phrophetic in telling what would happen in this movie. Once a woman invites a man over to have some "hot coffee", it appears that that is a secret code word for boning. And that's exactly what they did immediately after they went inside her house.
The movie begins with Tess leaving for Africa. Then, it goes to a scene with an old jeep that seemed to have been flipped over to the side after it was blown up.
The movie was shot very artistically and the nonlinear approach to the storyline helped with that effect.
His friend, Sandy, another diplomat, tells him the bad news about his wife. At first, he seemed to be a good friend. Later on, we realize how sleazy he was. He was secretly in love with Tess. He was always coming on to her. The movie's nonlinear approach makes it seem like she had an affair with him in the beginning. Afterwards, we discover that Tess was a faithful wife.
Tess was some kind of radical hippy doctor-type that helped out in the aid to Africa. She learns that the drugs provided to Africans afflicted with AIDS and TB were actually killing people. The drug company was using African people to test their drugs. She writes a report to the president of the drug company. A letter is given to Sandy, but he keeps it to himself instead of sharing the contents with Tess. Sandy is on the conspiracy to hide what the pharmaceuticals are doing. Tess really really wants to know what the letter says. She knows that Sandy wants her. She says that she will give him what he wants if she can read the letter. Due to Sandy's horniness, he agrees to do it even though it brings danger to himself.
Tess keeps everything to herself without telling her husband, Quayle, because she wanted to protect him. She knew that she was in danger and didn't want him to get involved too.
Meanwhile, Quayle is suspecting that Tess is having an affair with her other African friend, Arnold Bluhm. But, later he finds out that Arnold was gay. What a relief, he thinks.
Quayle eventually discovers the truth that the president of the pharmaceutical company ordered her death. He discovers that they are testing Africans as live subjects for their drugs.
I found that this movie was very eye-opening in what may have been happening to people in Africa. The drug companies were testing their drugs for research so that they could later release it to the richer nations. They pretended that they were being charitable to African peoples who have been devastated by several plagues and diseases.
Quayle is later shot to death by a gang who is hired by the big bad corporation. Quayle however makes his peace with Tess and her death. He goes to the site where she died. Tess' cousin reads the letter hidden by Sandy in front of everyone at Quayle's funeral and the media start hounding the president of the pharmaceutical company.
Quayle kept thinking back to the times he was with Tess. He kept thinking of the times when Tess was naked. Was she pregnant by the way? How'd they make her look pregnant when she was totally naked? In the beginning Tess was thin. Then, they show times when Tess was pregnant and naked. Now, that's great job by the make-up department.
Highs: Superb acting by everyone (you can actually see the muscles tensing up in their faces when they're asked a stressful question!), great artistic filmmaking, nice scenery, nonlinear storyline that works, intriguing revelation about pharmaceutical companies.
Lows: Maybe very confusing at times, insinuations about Tess' unfaithfulness.
The Verdict: A great artistic thriller with a great socially relevant message.
My rating: A-, 90.
We made candy airplanes at Sunday School this past Sunday. You get a stick of Wrigley's gum, 2 pieces of Life Saver's candy, a roll of tart candy like you see in the picture, a rubber band, and a colored sheet of paper to wrap around the stick of gum. You can write down a message like "Jesus loves me" or your favorite churchy phrase. The 2nd grade kids loved it and so did I. We had a small aerial battle after we made them.
Rage Against the Machine
Laundry machine, that is.
This past Friday, Sarah and I went to the coin laundry to wash our blankets. This one washing machine stole $3.50 and a different machine stole another 50 cent.
Dang those machines! They're thieves. There were so many times when coin operated machines stole my money. I can't even break into them to get my money back, because that would be considered destruction of property.
We spent about $30 at the laundromat, because we washed all our blankets and sheets for spring cleaning.
Fortunately, I've never had any problems with bank ATM machines. . . . . Knock on wood.
What if an ATM machine deducted $200 from my bank account, but shortchanged me $20? That would suck.
I prefer dealing with real human beings. That way, I can quickly ask for help if there's a mistake or something. Although, you can't completely trust bank tellers either. One time, when I was getting coins for my parents' business, a bank teller shortchanged me by not giving me a roll of $10 in quarters. Never leave the bank without making sure you get the correct amount of money.
I got sick again this weekend too. I was recovering from a flu last week, but I got even more sick since my body was in a weakened condition. My eyes are red, my head hurts, and I have a sore throat. I'm struggling to stay awake.
This past Friday, Sarah and I went to the coin laundry to wash our blankets. This one washing machine stole $3.50 and a different machine stole another 50 cent.
Dang those machines! They're thieves. There were so many times when coin operated machines stole my money. I can't even break into them to get my money back, because that would be considered destruction of property.
We spent about $30 at the laundromat, because we washed all our blankets and sheets for spring cleaning.
Fortunately, I've never had any problems with bank ATM machines. . . . . Knock on wood.
What if an ATM machine deducted $200 from my bank account, but shortchanged me $20? That would suck.
I prefer dealing with real human beings. That way, I can quickly ask for help if there's a mistake or something. Although, you can't completely trust bank tellers either. One time, when I was getting coins for my parents' business, a bank teller shortchanged me by not giving me a roll of $10 in quarters. Never leave the bank without making sure you get the correct amount of money.
I got sick again this weekend too. I was recovering from a flu last week, but I got even more sick since my body was in a weakened condition. My eyes are red, my head hurts, and I have a sore throat. I'm struggling to stay awake.
Friday, March 24, 2006
The Incredible Rage
As many of you know, I'm usually an easy going happy-go-lucky type of guy. I try to be as nice as possible to everyone around me.
One time, someone warned me that I was too nice and that people might try to take advantage of me because of my niceness. Well, I thought that even though I'm nice guy, I wouldn't let people take advantage of me. There are just some things that I won't tolerate. I don't like to say no to people, but I will say no if I have to. But, just like the demure version of Jim Carrey in Me, Myself, and Irene, I think that people have looked down upon me because of my meekness. And if you saw the movie, you will know what happened to the nice guy. He finally cracked when he took too much abuse from people.
This happened to Bruce Banner also in The Incredible Hulk. Nice quiet shy guys turn into raging uncontrollable monsters when they finally crack. This also happened to Homer Simpson in the Angry Dad/Incredible Hulk episode of The Simpsons when Bart pushed him too far. Well, Homer can never really maintain self-control, cuz' he's always choking Bart to death.
This uncontrollable rage happens to me once in awhile when someone pushes my buttons to the limits. It's like I'm Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde. I scare myself sometimes after I unleash my anger upon people. I don't know if I fit in the angry bulldog or striking cobra category of angry people. I've read that some people hold in all their angry feelings until one day, they explode and stay angry for a long time. Other people just snap back in anger very quickly and then calm down quickly.
When I finally lose my temper, all hell breaks loose. I start yelling and screaming obscenities towards my debating opponent. The more they yell back, the angrier and more unstable I become. I might then totally lose self-control by throwing and breaking things. Fists might start flying as well if things get worse.
I believe I try to stay as nice as possible in order to not trigger my uncontrollable anger. I'm frightened I might do something which I may later regret.
I remember getting into a lot of fights when I was a young kid at school. One day when some little punk kept teasing me by saying "Chinese, Japanese" and doing that slanted eye thing with his fingers, I felt that I finally had enough and I started smashing his face with my knuckles. I'm Korean, you piece of $%(& bleepin' @@@hole mo&*#$fo@#$%!!
Another time, this other kid pissed me off and I stabbed him with a sharp pencil. I didn't even mean to do it either. I just meant to hit the ground in frustration, but the pencil went through his hand. He started screaming so loudly and was balling like he was going to die. I got scared. I couldn't believe what I had done. He went to the doctor and I don't remember what happened after that. Fortunately, back then, they didn't sue as much as they do nowadays.
I remember I got into several fights in junior and senior high school too. I don't remember how one fight began, but one day some jerk-ass punk just punched me right in the eye. My eyeball turned yellow and my eye was red and swollen shut. I got so mad that I didn't let that guy go without rampaging on his face and eyes until he was black and blue all over. An eye for an eye, I guess.
These days, my total loss of self-control have been becoming more frequent than earlier before.
99% of the time, I'm supernice. I've got to control my temper somehow so that I will never lose self-control again. I better learn how to do this before I do something I will truly regret.
Forgive me father for I have sinned. . . A lot. . . Maybe too much. . . I'm going to shut up now.
One time, someone warned me that I was too nice and that people might try to take advantage of me because of my niceness. Well, I thought that even though I'm nice guy, I wouldn't let people take advantage of me. There are just some things that I won't tolerate. I don't like to say no to people, but I will say no if I have to. But, just like the demure version of Jim Carrey in Me, Myself, and Irene, I think that people have looked down upon me because of my meekness. And if you saw the movie, you will know what happened to the nice guy. He finally cracked when he took too much abuse from people.
This happened to Bruce Banner also in The Incredible Hulk. Nice quiet shy guys turn into raging uncontrollable monsters when they finally crack. This also happened to Homer Simpson in the Angry Dad/Incredible Hulk episode of The Simpsons when Bart pushed him too far. Well, Homer can never really maintain self-control, cuz' he's always choking Bart to death.
This uncontrollable rage happens to me once in awhile when someone pushes my buttons to the limits. It's like I'm Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde. I scare myself sometimes after I unleash my anger upon people. I don't know if I fit in the angry bulldog or striking cobra category of angry people. I've read that some people hold in all their angry feelings until one day, they explode and stay angry for a long time. Other people just snap back in anger very quickly and then calm down quickly.
When I finally lose my temper, all hell breaks loose. I start yelling and screaming obscenities towards my debating opponent. The more they yell back, the angrier and more unstable I become. I might then totally lose self-control by throwing and breaking things. Fists might start flying as well if things get worse.
I believe I try to stay as nice as possible in order to not trigger my uncontrollable anger. I'm frightened I might do something which I may later regret.
I remember getting into a lot of fights when I was a young kid at school. One day when some little punk kept teasing me by saying "Chinese, Japanese" and doing that slanted eye thing with his fingers, I felt that I finally had enough and I started smashing his face with my knuckles. I'm Korean, you piece of $%(& bleepin' @@@hole mo&*#$fo@#$%!!
Another time, this other kid pissed me off and I stabbed him with a sharp pencil. I didn't even mean to do it either. I just meant to hit the ground in frustration, but the pencil went through his hand. He started screaming so loudly and was balling like he was going to die. I got scared. I couldn't believe what I had done. He went to the doctor and I don't remember what happened after that. Fortunately, back then, they didn't sue as much as they do nowadays.
I remember I got into several fights in junior and senior high school too. I don't remember how one fight began, but one day some jerk-ass punk just punched me right in the eye. My eyeball turned yellow and my eye was red and swollen shut. I got so mad that I didn't let that guy go without rampaging on his face and eyes until he was black and blue all over. An eye for an eye, I guess.
These days, my total loss of self-control have been becoming more frequent than earlier before.
99% of the time, I'm supernice. I've got to control my temper somehow so that I will never lose self-control again. I better learn how to do this before I do something I will truly regret.
Forgive me father for I have sinned. . . A lot. . . Maybe too much. . . I'm going to shut up now.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Lords of Dogtown
Gnarly 360 spin, man!
This movie is about the original skateboard legends who made what skateboarding is today. This movie takes place in the early 70's. It's kinda like a movie documentary of the Z-boys. If you liked this movie, be sure to check out the documentary of Dogtown and Z-boys.
Sure, you laugh at their plastic skateboards and waist high shorts, but these guys are the forefathers of skateboarding today. Skateboarding would not be where it is today, without the Z-boys, man. We are merely standing on the shoulders of giants. These guys didn't invent skateboarding, but they made skateboarding "cool". Otherwise, skateboarding would be associated with knee high socks and disco music. The Z-boys changed all that with their urban surf-style shredding.
The movie does have a dirty, gritty quality about it. It really brings the 70's back to life.
The Z-boys were just poor kids who grew up in Venice, which they called Dogtown because of the seaside slum environment. Skip Engblom, played by Heath Ledger, was the owner of the Zephyr Surf and Skate Shop. He recognized the talent of about a dozen of these poor skating slum kids and sponsored them in skateboard competitions. These guys just blew everyone away with their new radical style. They loved doing low powerslides with their hands. In the beginning, competitions didn't allow people to touch the ground with their hands. That rule disappeared after the star skater, Tony Alva, punched the official's lights out.
Yeah, a lot of their tricks are laughable compared to the absolutely astounding high flying tricks you see today on the vert ramp. You see a cameo appearance by Tony Hawk who plays an astronaut that can't skate at all. I saw Tony Hawk one time at the E3 (Electronics Entertainment Expo) a while back. He can still skate, bro.
A lot of the kids in the movie had long hair. Their clothes made me crack up. All the girls who followed these guys were sluts. These young teens with their newfound rockstar-like stardom were having parties full of drugs, alcohol, and sluts. These guys were nothing more than young punk gangsters. They lacked any type of sense of responsibility. They love to drive recklessly (there were no seatbelt laws back then, either) and destroy other people's property. They epitomize all the reasons why I hate teenagers so much.
Tony Alva was a big dickhead in this movie. His pompousness made me sick. His sister was huge slut too. In one party they had, Jay Adams, another star skater, came over and had sex with Tony's sister. Apparently, Tony and his sister shared the same bedroom, 'cuz Tony was having sex with another girl while his sister was making out with Jay on a different bed. That's disgusting! A brother is not supposed to allow any of that crap to go on. A brother is supposed to beat the living crap out of any guy who tries to touch his sister. How could they both be making out with their gf and bf in the same room?! Then they hear their dad walking in. Jay jumps out the window and Tony's girl hides in the closet. Tony and his sister pretend they're just sleeping. It's a good thing their dad doesn't make them get up, because they're naked underneath their sheets.
What kind of friend was Jay when he stole Stacy Peralta's gf? Stacy Peralta plays the nice guy in the movie. Well, it's his movie so he could make it anyway he wants to. Stacy just finds a nicer girl and better looking one too. He gets sponsored by G&S Skateboards (Gordon & Smith). Man, believe it or not, Stacy's a guy. He looks like Paris Hilton with his long flowing blonde hair. Yuck.
While Stacy and Tony become big skateboard stars, Jay shuns the commercialization of his sport. He doesn't believe in selling out. He turns from a long blonde white boy into a vato with a shaved head and tatoos on his neck. That's probably due to the influence of his chicana gf.
Another skater, Sid gets brain tumor. It looks like his inner ear equilibrium imbalance turned out to be more serious than anyone thought. They should have been nicer to him instead of pushing him around all the time for laughs.
During the 70's there were severe droughts in L.A. People had to conserve water. They had to drain out their swimming pools. The Z-boys took advantage of this drought by running around people's yards and they started skating in their dried out pools. This is how they first revolutionized skateboarding. Vert ramp skating was born.
The highs: Nice gritty drama showing how modern skateboarding started
The lows: Teenagers
The Verdict: Groovy skateboarding movie.
My rating: B, 82.
This movie is about the original skateboard legends who made what skateboarding is today. This movie takes place in the early 70's. It's kinda like a movie documentary of the Z-boys. If you liked this movie, be sure to check out the documentary of Dogtown and Z-boys.
Sure, you laugh at their plastic skateboards and waist high shorts, but these guys are the forefathers of skateboarding today. Skateboarding would not be where it is today, without the Z-boys, man. We are merely standing on the shoulders of giants. These guys didn't invent skateboarding, but they made skateboarding "cool". Otherwise, skateboarding would be associated with knee high socks and disco music. The Z-boys changed all that with their urban surf-style shredding.
The movie does have a dirty, gritty quality about it. It really brings the 70's back to life.
The Z-boys were just poor kids who grew up in Venice, which they called Dogtown because of the seaside slum environment. Skip Engblom, played by Heath Ledger, was the owner of the Zephyr Surf and Skate Shop. He recognized the talent of about a dozen of these poor skating slum kids and sponsored them in skateboard competitions. These guys just blew everyone away with their new radical style. They loved doing low powerslides with their hands. In the beginning, competitions didn't allow people to touch the ground with their hands. That rule disappeared after the star skater, Tony Alva, punched the official's lights out.
Yeah, a lot of their tricks are laughable compared to the absolutely astounding high flying tricks you see today on the vert ramp. You see a cameo appearance by Tony Hawk who plays an astronaut that can't skate at all. I saw Tony Hawk one time at the E3 (Electronics Entertainment Expo) a while back. He can still skate, bro.
A lot of the kids in the movie had long hair. Their clothes made me crack up. All the girls who followed these guys were sluts. These young teens with their newfound rockstar-like stardom were having parties full of drugs, alcohol, and sluts. These guys were nothing more than young punk gangsters. They lacked any type of sense of responsibility. They love to drive recklessly (there were no seatbelt laws back then, either) and destroy other people's property. They epitomize all the reasons why I hate teenagers so much.
Tony Alva was a big dickhead in this movie. His pompousness made me sick. His sister was huge slut too. In one party they had, Jay Adams, another star skater, came over and had sex with Tony's sister. Apparently, Tony and his sister shared the same bedroom, 'cuz Tony was having sex with another girl while his sister was making out with Jay on a different bed. That's disgusting! A brother is not supposed to allow any of that crap to go on. A brother is supposed to beat the living crap out of any guy who tries to touch his sister. How could they both be making out with their gf and bf in the same room?! Then they hear their dad walking in. Jay jumps out the window and Tony's girl hides in the closet. Tony and his sister pretend they're just sleeping. It's a good thing their dad doesn't make them get up, because they're naked underneath their sheets.
What kind of friend was Jay when he stole Stacy Peralta's gf? Stacy Peralta plays the nice guy in the movie. Well, it's his movie so he could make it anyway he wants to. Stacy just finds a nicer girl and better looking one too. He gets sponsored by G&S Skateboards (Gordon & Smith). Man, believe it or not, Stacy's a guy. He looks like Paris Hilton with his long flowing blonde hair. Yuck.
While Stacy and Tony become big skateboard stars, Jay shuns the commercialization of his sport. He doesn't believe in selling out. He turns from a long blonde white boy into a vato with a shaved head and tatoos on his neck. That's probably due to the influence of his chicana gf.
Another skater, Sid gets brain tumor. It looks like his inner ear equilibrium imbalance turned out to be more serious than anyone thought. They should have been nicer to him instead of pushing him around all the time for laughs.
During the 70's there were severe droughts in L.A. People had to conserve water. They had to drain out their swimming pools. The Z-boys took advantage of this drought by running around people's yards and they started skating in their dried out pools. This is how they first revolutionized skateboarding. Vert ramp skating was born.
The highs: Nice gritty drama showing how modern skateboarding started
The lows: Teenagers
The Verdict: Groovy skateboarding movie.
My rating: B, 82.
Lords of Downtown
I wanted to get a quick adrenaline rush to celebrate the first day of spring. Downtown LA is fun because of some of the nice downhills. Just like the Lords of Dogtown, I like to terrorize the streets.
I want to be a Lord of Ktown, but there aren't any good hills there.
Monday, March 20, 2006
The Grudge
I consider myself to be a very scientific and rational person, but I was freaked out after watching this movie. I know it wasn't real, but my mind kept playing tricks on me all night. I kept seeing images of those terrifying faces over and over.
Don't watch this movie right before you go to sleep. It will give you nightmares.
This movie was based on the original Japanese version, Ju-on. The premise is that in Japanese legend, if someone dies in the grip of a powerful rage, a curse is born in the place where that person died. Anyone who goes into that place will be consumed by the curse's fury too.
The movie stars Sarah Michelle Gellar. Buffy must have lost her vampire slaying powers when she moved to Japan, because she was a scaredy-cat the whole time she was there. As for me, if I were paid to go inside a house that's believed to be haunted, I would do it. I would say that there must be a scientific explanation for this. But, if I saw the scary looking faces coming at me, I would run like hell and never go back.
When I saw a scary Korean movie as I kid, I was freaked out by this frightening ghost faced woman. I couldn't walk to the bathroom in the dark, because of the spooks in my mind. I think the scariest looking thing is a scary looking woman. The most terrorizing thing in humans' minds are disfigured human faces. You can create monsters, but if they're not humanized, they won't be that scary.
Buffy is an exchange student who went to Japan because her boyfriend wanted to study Japanese architecture there. When a student nurse didn't report for her job, Buffy is chosen to go to the house to take care of an elderly catatonic lady. She sees a ghost and runs away. She later finds out that a husband killed her wife and son at that house.
There was an American professor that the wife was in love with. The husband reads her diary and drowns her.
The American professor goes to visit the house after reading all the love letters that were sent to him. After visiting the house, he kills himself. He is the first victim of the curse.
Another American family moves into that house because the guy gets a great job there as a CPA. Of course, that family bites the dust.
Buffy's bf thinks that she's in there and goes inside. Buffy finds out he went there to look for her, and she runs inside to save his life. She tries to burn the place, but the spirit won't let her. Finally she drops the lighter into the gasoline. Later, she's at the hospital and we find out that the firefighters prevented the house from burning down. The curse lives on.
There was a bit of Ringu in the movie when they showed the ghost in the videotape walking towards you.
It was too bad they killed off that pretty Japanese girl. Later on, you see she becomes a monster too with her lower jaw missing.
I don't know why that little Japanese boy turned into a catboy.
When Buffy looks through pictures of the professor and his wife, she sees the face of the Japanese woman in the background of all their pictures. Spooky.
The ghost of the woman that drowned kept making burping and gurgling sounds. Those are the same sounds that I make on Sunday mornings when Sarah is forcing me to get out of bed and I can't get up.
This movie had really frightening sounding music. Their picture was shot in a very suspenseful way. As you may know, music really sets the mood of a movie. There was this one video that was spread on the web where some guy remade a trailer of movie called The Shining. He made the trailer seem like the movie was about a family comedy just by changing the music to happy music. That was pretty clever. The music in The Grudge made even the scenes where people slowly walked towards the door extremely suspensful and frightening.
The highs: If you want to be scared, this movie will deliver.
The lows: Horror movie logic.
The Verdict: Don't watch this alone in the dark.
My rating: B, 86.
You can experience first-hand what it's like to visit the house, by clicking on the link.
Don't watch this movie right before you go to sleep. It will give you nightmares.
This movie was based on the original Japanese version, Ju-on. The premise is that in Japanese legend, if someone dies in the grip of a powerful rage, a curse is born in the place where that person died. Anyone who goes into that place will be consumed by the curse's fury too.
The movie stars Sarah Michelle Gellar. Buffy must have lost her vampire slaying powers when she moved to Japan, because she was a scaredy-cat the whole time she was there. As for me, if I were paid to go inside a house that's believed to be haunted, I would do it. I would say that there must be a scientific explanation for this. But, if I saw the scary looking faces coming at me, I would run like hell and never go back.
When I saw a scary Korean movie as I kid, I was freaked out by this frightening ghost faced woman. I couldn't walk to the bathroom in the dark, because of the spooks in my mind. I think the scariest looking thing is a scary looking woman. The most terrorizing thing in humans' minds are disfigured human faces. You can create monsters, but if they're not humanized, they won't be that scary.
Buffy is an exchange student who went to Japan because her boyfriend wanted to study Japanese architecture there. When a student nurse didn't report for her job, Buffy is chosen to go to the house to take care of an elderly catatonic lady. She sees a ghost and runs away. She later finds out that a husband killed her wife and son at that house.
There was an American professor that the wife was in love with. The husband reads her diary and drowns her.
The American professor goes to visit the house after reading all the love letters that were sent to him. After visiting the house, he kills himself. He is the first victim of the curse.
Another American family moves into that house because the guy gets a great job there as a CPA. Of course, that family bites the dust.
Buffy's bf thinks that she's in there and goes inside. Buffy finds out he went there to look for her, and she runs inside to save his life. She tries to burn the place, but the spirit won't let her. Finally she drops the lighter into the gasoline. Later, she's at the hospital and we find out that the firefighters prevented the house from burning down. The curse lives on.
There was a bit of Ringu in the movie when they showed the ghost in the videotape walking towards you.
It was too bad they killed off that pretty Japanese girl. Later on, you see she becomes a monster too with her lower jaw missing.
I don't know why that little Japanese boy turned into a catboy.
When Buffy looks through pictures of the professor and his wife, she sees the face of the Japanese woman in the background of all their pictures. Spooky.
The ghost of the woman that drowned kept making burping and gurgling sounds. Those are the same sounds that I make on Sunday mornings when Sarah is forcing me to get out of bed and I can't get up.
This movie had really frightening sounding music. Their picture was shot in a very suspenseful way. As you may know, music really sets the mood of a movie. There was this one video that was spread on the web where some guy remade a trailer of movie called The Shining. He made the trailer seem like the movie was about a family comedy just by changing the music to happy music. That was pretty clever. The music in The Grudge made even the scenes where people slowly walked towards the door extremely suspensful and frightening.
The highs: If you want to be scared, this movie will deliver.
The lows: Horror movie logic.
The Verdict: Don't watch this alone in the dark.
My rating: B, 86.
You can experience first-hand what it's like to visit the house, by clicking on the link.
L.A. Marathon
Los Angeles Marathon
This Sunday, March 19, 2005, was the L.A. Marathon. When we arrived at church before the 8:00 am service, I saw these Korean grandmas that parked their cars below Olympic. They parked below Olympic at the Hannam Chain supermarket. BSBC is on the north side of Olympic. These Korean (halmunis) grandmas tried to cross Olympic when there was a sea of bicyclists riding through. All these cyclists started making evasive manuevers to avoid them. Some of them fell down. The grandmas made it to the other side safely and none of the cyclists were hurt, thankfully. When I went to tell my wife what happened, I started laughing.
I want to ride my bike at next year's L.A. Marathon. A long time ago, I wanted to run in it, but I'm so out of shape right now. I think I'll bike it next year and try to run it the year after. But, I've been putting it off for so long, it's just going to be harder and harder for me to do it.
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