Transporter 2
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Transporter 2
This movie is like watching a videogame. The action sequences are exciting, but they're too over-the-top. It's as realistic as a videogame, which means it's not realistic at all. It's a fast-paced adrenaline rush. It's a pretty dumb movie though. It features B-movie acting. The main guy (Jason Statham) plays a chaffeur in this movie for a rich family's kindergartener. His fighting is similar to Jackie Chan's but without any of Jackie's humor. He plays a kickass tough guy, but he's definitely not funny. The one admiral trait about him is his strong morals. He refuses to sleep with the rich guy's wife even though she literally throws herself on him.
The movie is just plain ridiculous in every aspect. The acting and even the action sequences are so unrealistic that it's groan inducing. Everyone's acting is really bad. The story is only filler and an excuse for the action sequences. The bad guys inject a lethal virus into the rich guy's kid via a needle with bright green fluid. The antidote is bright purple.
The driving sequences are like watching a street car racing videogame. One sequence reminds of Batman Begins when he drives from the top of a parking structure on to another building.
This movie is filled with cliches. The French and Russian bad guys are portrayed as typical stereotypes.
The airplane crash at the end is so ludicrous. They crash into the ocean and all that happens is that water enters the plane. They still keep fighting even though the jet is split in half.
Only watch this if you like adrenaline-inducing action sequences. That's all the movie is good for. Do not watch it if you are a drama or quality acting aficionado. It will insult your taste of class.
Why do action movies usually have such bad acting and why are they so unrealistic? Maybe they're made that way so that no one will attempt doing performing those stunts, because they know they're impossible. If action sequences were more realistic, people will try to duplicate those stunts in real life.
This is another mindless fun movie, but it's really targeted for immature videogame-playing teens.
My rating: D, 64.
The movie is just plain ridiculous in every aspect. The acting and even the action sequences are so unrealistic that it's groan inducing. Everyone's acting is really bad. The story is only filler and an excuse for the action sequences. The bad guys inject a lethal virus into the rich guy's kid via a needle with bright green fluid. The antidote is bright purple.
The driving sequences are like watching a street car racing videogame. One sequence reminds of Batman Begins when he drives from the top of a parking structure on to another building.
This movie is filled with cliches. The French and Russian bad guys are portrayed as typical stereotypes.
The airplane crash at the end is so ludicrous. They crash into the ocean and all that happens is that water enters the plane. They still keep fighting even though the jet is split in half.
Only watch this if you like adrenaline-inducing action sequences. That's all the movie is good for. Do not watch it if you are a drama or quality acting aficionado. It will insult your taste of class.
Why do action movies usually have such bad acting and why are they so unrealistic? Maybe they're made that way so that no one will attempt doing performing those stunts, because they know they're impossible. If action sequences were more realistic, people will try to duplicate those stunts in real life.
This is another mindless fun movie, but it's really targeted for immature videogame-playing teens.
My rating: D, 64.
Monday, January 23, 2006
An Episode from Sunday School
While I was teaching second grade sunday school yesterday, a couple of kids (we'll call them "Jason" and "Caleb") were fighting over a pencil. Jason said he wanted his pencil back. Caleb said Jason let him borrow it. I told them to stop fighting. I told them to share. I said that if you share, God will give you so much more. The more you give, the more God will give you. I had a lot of pencils to give out. One of the kids, who is always hyper (we'll call him "Austin" and in class, we call him "Sugarboy"), said a funny remark. Austin said, "If God gives you a pencil, it will be so big that we can't use it." I explained that God won't give you a God-sized pencil, but he'll give you many more pencils (normal-sized ones) if you share.
I go through this type of silliness all the time, especially with Sugarboy. Another time, I asked the class what they're thankful for, and Sugarboy said, "I'm thankful for that pretty Chinese fan on the wall." Oh, geez.
I go through this type of silliness all the time, especially with Sugarboy. Another time, I asked the class what they're thankful for, and Sugarboy said, "I'm thankful for that pretty Chinese fan on the wall." Oh, geez.
A Bad Trip to Max Foods
The last time I went to Max Foods, they overcharged me on a bag of cookies by over $2. I wasn't charged the discounted price.
This time, I had to wait in a long line. The woman in front of me was buying tons of food. She was of Hispanic descent and had four bratty kids with her that kept going in and out of line and bringing in more food. When she had to pay, she took out about 50 items, because they were too expensive. She also had a carton of water bottles on the bottom of her shopping cart. She never gave them to the cashier to pay for them. The cashier never saw them. I know she purposely didn't say anything, because you could clearly see them on the bottom when she pushed the cart forward. What kind of example was she setting for her children? I wanted to say something about the bottles of water, but refrained from doing so because I thought she was poor. For some reason, I didn't call her on it, because I didn't want to shame her in front of her children. Also, I guess I felt a little bit sorry for her, when she was telling the cashier to take away so many items. Although, the right thing to do was take away the bottles too or pay for them.
One time, I caught some nerdy Chinese guy at Ralphs stealing a videogame demo disk from one of those videogame magazines. I didn't say anything at first, but it really bothered me. When I saw him walk back into Ralphs, I told him, "If you don't put that videogame disk back, I'm going to notify security." Then, he looked really ashamed and guilty. I stood there and watched him put it back. Sometimes, I feel like I should be a cop. I really feel like pulling over idiot drivers, but unfortunately, I can't.
Oh yeah, speaking of markets, don't go to Costco on the weekends. Man, that place is packed! People hit you with shopping carts from behind. Other thoughtless idiots
leave their shopping carts in the middle of the aisle so that you can't get through. Put your dang carts to the side!
When I finally got home later to eat my Ben and Jerry's ice cream that I bought from Max Foods, it was nasty. It looked like it melted and then was frozen again. I thought it would be alright and gave some to Sarah. It tasted really bad. Sarah said her stomach hurt. I felt like a jerk for giving her bad ice cream. First of all, they had a bad selection of ice cream. They only had four different flavors for Ben and Jerry's ice cream. I got chocolate chip cookie dough. The packages all looked a little bit withered, but I thought it would be okay. Then, here's the kicker: I looked on the bottom of the package to see why the ice cream tasted so nasty and the expiration date was sometime in 2004!!!! What the heck is Max Foods trying to do to us?!!!!!! Poison us with old food?!! Dang them!!! They better give us a refund or exchange. I usually don't return stuff that I bought, but if they don't, I'll never shop there again!
This time, I had to wait in a long line. The woman in front of me was buying tons of food. She was of Hispanic descent and had four bratty kids with her that kept going in and out of line and bringing in more food. When she had to pay, she took out about 50 items, because they were too expensive. She also had a carton of water bottles on the bottom of her shopping cart. She never gave them to the cashier to pay for them. The cashier never saw them. I know she purposely didn't say anything, because you could clearly see them on the bottom when she pushed the cart forward. What kind of example was she setting for her children? I wanted to say something about the bottles of water, but refrained from doing so because I thought she was poor. For some reason, I didn't call her on it, because I didn't want to shame her in front of her children. Also, I guess I felt a little bit sorry for her, when she was telling the cashier to take away so many items. Although, the right thing to do was take away the bottles too or pay for them.
One time, I caught some nerdy Chinese guy at Ralphs stealing a videogame demo disk from one of those videogame magazines. I didn't say anything at first, but it really bothered me. When I saw him walk back into Ralphs, I told him, "If you don't put that videogame disk back, I'm going to notify security." Then, he looked really ashamed and guilty. I stood there and watched him put it back. Sometimes, I feel like I should be a cop. I really feel like pulling over idiot drivers, but unfortunately, I can't.
Oh yeah, speaking of markets, don't go to Costco on the weekends. Man, that place is packed! People hit you with shopping carts from behind. Other thoughtless idiots
leave their shopping carts in the middle of the aisle so that you can't get through. Put your dang carts to the side!
When I finally got home later to eat my Ben and Jerry's ice cream that I bought from Max Foods, it was nasty. It looked like it melted and then was frozen again. I thought it would be alright and gave some to Sarah. It tasted really bad. Sarah said her stomach hurt. I felt like a jerk for giving her bad ice cream. First of all, they had a bad selection of ice cream. They only had four different flavors for Ben and Jerry's ice cream. I got chocolate chip cookie dough. The packages all looked a little bit withered, but I thought it would be okay. Then, here's the kicker: I looked on the bottom of the package to see why the ice cream tasted so nasty and the expiration date was sometime in 2004!!!! What the heck is Max Foods trying to do to us?!!!!!! Poison us with old food?!! Dang them!!! They better give us a refund or exchange. I usually don't return stuff that I bought, but if they don't, I'll never shop there again!
The Island
"You want to go to the Island."
Well, too bad. There is no island. They've been lying to us.
They have been told that they are survivors of a nuclear holocaust. They live in a seemingly utopian society. They all live for getting a chance to go the island. Unfortunately, they are really clones that are produced to provide organs for their sponsors.
When Ewan McGregor discovers the truth, he takes Scarlett Johansson and runs like in the movie, Logan's Run. There is also some similarity to A Clockwork Orange when the clones are being programmed with video screens.
It starts off as a sci-fi flick and then turns out to be an adrenaline-inducing special effects action chase thriller.
It turns out to be a dark themed movie though. Ewan McGregor's clone just wants to survive. When the clone meets the real person, he turns out to be a jerk that just wants to live as well and doesn't care a lick about what happens to his clone. There's a little bit of some Face/Off similarity when the main assassin has to figure out who the real person is. The clone puts the bracelet on the sponsor, and the real person gets shot.
It's interesting to see what downtown L.A. would look like in the future. I skateboarded down Grand Avenue where they filmed the flying motorcycle scene. The special effects are great. No doubt, this wasn't the actors' best work though.
The movie wasn't as bad as some critics have said about it. There are a lot of philosophical issues to look at in this movie. Is it okay to make clones to provide organs for their sponsors? Which life is worth more? Pretty interesting to consider. I think we can clone humans in the future. The problem is the ethical issues that would ensue after we do this. Will it provide hope for the sick or will it cause more horrors than we have ever experienced in our society?
My rating: B, 86.
Well, too bad. There is no island. They've been lying to us.
They have been told that they are survivors of a nuclear holocaust. They live in a seemingly utopian society. They all live for getting a chance to go the island. Unfortunately, they are really clones that are produced to provide organs for their sponsors.
When Ewan McGregor discovers the truth, he takes Scarlett Johansson and runs like in the movie, Logan's Run. There is also some similarity to A Clockwork Orange when the clones are being programmed with video screens.
It starts off as a sci-fi flick and then turns out to be an adrenaline-inducing special effects action chase thriller.
It turns out to be a dark themed movie though. Ewan McGregor's clone just wants to survive. When the clone meets the real person, he turns out to be a jerk that just wants to live as well and doesn't care a lick about what happens to his clone. There's a little bit of some Face/Off similarity when the main assassin has to figure out who the real person is. The clone puts the bracelet on the sponsor, and the real person gets shot.
It's interesting to see what downtown L.A. would look like in the future. I skateboarded down Grand Avenue where they filmed the flying motorcycle scene. The special effects are great. No doubt, this wasn't the actors' best work though.
The movie wasn't as bad as some critics have said about it. There are a lot of philosophical issues to look at in this movie. Is it okay to make clones to provide organs for their sponsors? Which life is worth more? Pretty interesting to consider. I think we can clone humans in the future. The problem is the ethical issues that would ensue after we do this. Will it provide hope for the sick or will it cause more horrors than we have ever experienced in our society?
My rating: B, 86.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
The Smiths
Two lovers marry each other. After five or six years of marriage, their relationship starts falling apart due to lack of communication. They seek professional counseling.
One day, they both go to their jobs as assassins. They both have their own assassination agencies, but they both don't know that the other is one too. They've been lying to each other for years. But, this time, they've been assigned the same assignment. Now, they realize they're both assassins and not who they said they were.
The movie feels like True Lies mixed with War of the Roses. It's a good popcorn movie filled with lots of explosions. The movie is stylishly made, but you have to leave your reasoning behind.
At the end, they realize they have to work together to defeat the other bad guys from trying to kill them. They fall in love once again now that they're open and honest with each other. They work out their marital differences as they dispose of other assassins.
I liked when the kid was wearing the "Fight Club" t-shirt while the Smiths were beating him up to get answers as to who was trying to kill them.
It looks like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie had fun making this film. Maybe they had a little too much fun. I still can't believe this is the movie that helped cause the split-up Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. Too bad Pitt couldn't control his hormones while working with Angelina.
Sarah and I had fun play-fighting after we saw the movie. It provided good material for role-playing. Tee hee!
My rating: B, 85.
Pride and Prejudice (2005)
Keira Knightley stars in this version of the classic novel by Jane Austen. How many times does this story need to be made into a movie? I saw the older adaptations, but I think this one was the most enjoyable to watch.
This is a very classy romantic story of Lizzie Bennet and Mr. Darcy that takes place in 18th Century England. Lizzie and Mr. Darcy don't start off on the right foot, but some crises involving Lizzie's sisters, Jane and Lydia, help her to understand Mr. Darcy's true nature.
The cinematography and costuming were fabulous. It really looks like it took place during that time period. The acting was great too. The only thing was that it was hard to see how their romance developed when they seemed like they spent so little time getting to know each other. After little dialogue, but some bickering, Mr. Darcy suddenly announces that he loves her. Of course, Lizzie doesn't accept his love at first. She doesn't develop feelings for him until she discovers what Mr. Darcy really did to help her family.
This is a well made movie. It's just a little boring. I think it's a good chick flick though.
My rating: B, 84.
This is a very classy romantic story of Lizzie Bennet and Mr. Darcy that takes place in 18th Century England. Lizzie and Mr. Darcy don't start off on the right foot, but some crises involving Lizzie's sisters, Jane and Lydia, help her to understand Mr. Darcy's true nature.
The cinematography and costuming were fabulous. It really looks like it took place during that time period. The acting was great too. The only thing was that it was hard to see how their romance developed when they seemed like they spent so little time getting to know each other. After little dialogue, but some bickering, Mr. Darcy suddenly announces that he loves her. Of course, Lizzie doesn't accept his love at first. She doesn't develop feelings for him until she discovers what Mr. Darcy really did to help her family.
This is a well made movie. It's just a little boring. I think it's a good chick flick though.
My rating: B, 84.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
This is a witty, cute, and clever claymation movie for kids 6 and under. It's too puerile for adults. I had a hard time watching it just because I thought it was too infantile for me.
Wallace, a cheese-loving English clay dude runs a pest control company, called Anti-Pesto. His buddy, Gromit the dog, is the real brains behind the company. They remind me of the cartoon, Inspector Gadget. The town is having a vegetable competition and everyone is preparing for it. Unfortunately, there's a lot of rabbits eating their vegetables. They call the humane Anti-Pesto company to rid the town of these pesky bunnies. After, Wallace conducts an experiment to make these rabbits dislike vegetables, something goes terribly wrong. Wallace turns into a Were-Rabbit. He terrorizes the town, but he doesn't know that he turns into the Were-Rabbit during a full moon. There were some tie-ins with King Kong too.
The claymation is done very well. It's very smooth and cute too watch, but like I said, it's strictly for kiddies.
There were some scenes that were more adult-oriented humor. When the Lady stood behind two of her melons in the garden and asked Wallace how she liked them, Wallace became embarrassed. Also, the Priest was caught reading a provocative Nun Wrestling magazine. Towards the end, after Wallace turns back into a human, he is left without clothes. He tries to talk with the Lady and Gromit puts an empty box over him to cover up his shame. The box has a sign that says "May Contain Nuts".
For little tykes, I would highly recommend it, but not for adults.
My rating: C, 75.
Wallace, a cheese-loving English clay dude runs a pest control company, called Anti-Pesto. His buddy, Gromit the dog, is the real brains behind the company. They remind me of the cartoon, Inspector Gadget. The town is having a vegetable competition and everyone is preparing for it. Unfortunately, there's a lot of rabbits eating their vegetables. They call the humane Anti-Pesto company to rid the town of these pesky bunnies. After, Wallace conducts an experiment to make these rabbits dislike vegetables, something goes terribly wrong. Wallace turns into a Were-Rabbit. He terrorizes the town, but he doesn't know that he turns into the Were-Rabbit during a full moon. There were some tie-ins with King Kong too.
The claymation is done very well. It's very smooth and cute too watch, but like I said, it's strictly for kiddies.
There were some scenes that were more adult-oriented humor. When the Lady stood behind two of her melons in the garden and asked Wallace how she liked them, Wallace became embarrassed. Also, the Priest was caught reading a provocative Nun Wrestling magazine. Towards the end, after Wallace turns back into a human, he is left without clothes. He tries to talk with the Lady and Gromit puts an empty box over him to cover up his shame. The box has a sign that says "May Contain Nuts".
For little tykes, I would highly recommend it, but not for adults.
My rating: C, 75.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
This movie was like watching someone's dream. Dreams are totally like this. They did a good job of simulating someone's dreams. When Jim Carrey undergoes a medical procedure to erase his memory of his girlfriend, Clementine (Kate Winslet), he goes through all of his memories of her in his dream state. In his subconsciousness, he realizes that he doesn't want to forget her. He starts trying to hide her in other parts of his mind. This was a wonderfully weird film. It's very unique in its style. It's not that humorous, but it is a good psychological look into people's minds. I thought the ending was great in how it tied in with the beginning of the movie. It's not high entertainment, but it is thought-provoking.
My rating: B, 82.
My rating: B, 82.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Maxine 11
Click on this picture to see more jocose pictures. I've got a ton of 'em. Thanks to A.M. for contributing some of these pictures.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
American Wedding
American Pie 3: American Wedding
This time, the big jerk, Stifler, steals the show. Stifler pretends to be a gentleman to get on the good side of Michelle's sister and her parents. However, she turns out to like bad boys.
This movie was freakin' hilarious. It's a great comedy, because it doesn't take itself too seriously. It knows that it's just about raunchy sex jokes, and that's why it excels. Other sex comedies like 40 Year Old Virgin and Wedding Crashers try to mix in some sort of sweet story to the movie. That's where they mess up, because with these types of movies, you've got to do one thing or another. American Wedding takes everything light heartedly and so the sweet side can be accepted as part of the plot. Once the producers try to send a message to an audience that just wants to see wild hijinks, it gets lost or comes off preachy.
I think it could be the funniest one in the already very humorous American Pie series. The situations that the gang gets in to are just so off-the-wall ridiculous. Some of the most memorable scenes are when Stifler has to eat dog poo because he didn't want the in-laws to think that he lost the ring, and when Jim shaves his pubic hair, throws it out the window, and gets stuck to the wedding cake. It's a great crass comedy movie to watch if you want light hearted humor.
My rating: A, 91.
Kill Bill
Kill Bill Vol. 1
I saw Vol. 2 a few months ago before watching the first one. It's almost as good as watching it in order since in Vol. 2, you see the wedding masacre happen.
This movie is a highly-stylized revenge flick. There's a lot of kung fu fighting gore. There's a lot of blood squirting everywhere. Arms, legs, scalps come flying off.
Uma Thurman does a great job of showing what the meaning of determination is. After being nearly killed at her wedding, she gets up from her coma after 4 years and is set on getting revenge on those who killed her friends and stole her baby from her belly.
The film does a good job of showing why she is killing all these people. This movie is full of style and modern samurai sword fighting.
It's fun to watch, but it's definitely not for the squeamish.
My rating: B, 83.
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