Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby.
The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely Caucasian,
white baby boy.
"Baby boy! Congratulations!" says the nurse to the new parents. "Well, Mr.
Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?"
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, "Well, two Wongs don't
make a white, so I think we will name him Sum Ting Wong.”
Friday, December 16, 2005
Things You Wish You Can Say At Work
This is an old list that has been going around, but I'll post it anyway. I like #37 the best.
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I, flypaper for freaks?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be?
23. Do I look like a people person?
24. This isn't an office; it's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
25. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
26. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
27. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
28. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
29. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
30. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
31. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
32. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
33. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
34. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
35. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
36. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
37. I thought I wanted a career - turns out I just wanted paychecks.
38. Sure, you came up with that idea.
39. I'd love to help you, but it's 5 p.m.
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I, flypaper for freaks?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be?
23. Do I look like a people person?
24. This isn't an office; it's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
25. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
26. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
27. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
28. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
29. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
30. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
31. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
32. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
33. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
34. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
35. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
36. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
37. I thought I wanted a career - turns out I just wanted paychecks.
38. Sure, you came up with that idea.
39. I'd love to help you, but it's 5 p.m.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Make Sure You Lock the Restroom Stall
I'm sure you all know to lock the restroom stall, but make sure it's totally locked! I thought I locked the door on the restroom stall, but someone just managed to open the door somehow. The guy saw me in my most vulnerable position. I was totally humiliated and horrified. Well, almost. Now that I think about it, it could have been worse. This reminds me of one time when I was mountain biking in Schabarum Regional Park in Rowland Heights. This one crazy Asian guy tried to take a dump right in the middle of the trail. He thought he was alone and thought that he could leave a quick mess before anyone else showed up. This was about a couple miles up on the trail. Anyway, you know I always try to bike fast. I came rolling down the hill and he couldn't pull up his pants fast enough. Man! I had to witness that nastiness! I'm sure he was more embarassed than I was. If I was embarassed for him, he must have been totally shamed. But, it makes me think how he was going to wipe his butt, if he was going to at all. Yuck!
I'm glad dogs don't get embarassed taking a crap in front of their owners. I wonder if Princess Pepper, may she rest in peace, wanted me to look away while she was trying to poo when I took her for a walk.
Anyhow, I know that everyone has to poo, but everyone wants to keep that part of their daily life private. I have a hard time trying to poo when someone else is in the bathroom, and I'm sure many of you do too making doo doo. I can't even poo when my own wife, Sarah, is in the same bathroom as me.
Take the advice of David Kim-Double check to make sure the bathroom door is locked! Oh and don't poo in public. If you do, triple check to make sure no one can see you or no one is coming.
Sorry for talking too much about this unpleasant part of our lives, but it is a necessary evil. Pooing that is.
I'm glad dogs don't get embarassed taking a crap in front of their owners. I wonder if Princess Pepper, may she rest in peace, wanted me to look away while she was trying to poo when I took her for a walk.
Anyhow, I know that everyone has to poo, but everyone wants to keep that part of their daily life private. I have a hard time trying to poo when someone else is in the bathroom, and I'm sure many of you do too making doo doo. I can't even poo when my own wife, Sarah, is in the same bathroom as me.
Take the advice of David Kim-Double check to make sure the bathroom door is locked! Oh and don't poo in public. If you do, triple check to make sure no one can see you or no one is coming.
Sorry for talking too much about this unpleasant part of our lives, but it is a necessary evil. Pooing that is.
Longboarders Rule!
The hill is a lot steeper going downhill on a skateboard than it appears in the video, trust me.
Chris Curtis gettin' jiggy with it. Lee bustin' a move at the food/pool table. All right. If you want to know, I did drink a little bit more than I should have. I blew some chunks after I got home. That's okay. I had a great time at the party. That's all that matters, right? Hey, we want to party! I'm working on uploading these pictures even when I should be sleeping, cuz' I'm kinda out of it.
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