Are Computers Male or Female?

As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being
female (e.g., "Steady as she goes" or "She's listing to
starboard, Captain!")

Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced
that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their
reasons for drawing this conclusion follow:

Five reasons to believe computers are female:

1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other
computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as
informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm
certainly not going to tell you."

4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory
for later retrieval.

5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

*** However, another group of computer scientists, (all female)
think that computers should be referred to as if they were male.
Their reasons follow:

Five reasons to believe computers are male:

1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the
time they ARE the problem.

3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had
waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.

How women score men

For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is. In
the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do
something she likes & you get points. Do something she dislikes & points
are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects...

Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point
system.

Simple Duties
You make the bed............................................... ...+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.........0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.......................-1
You leave the toilet seat up......................................-5

You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty..................0
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.......-1
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom..-2
You check out a suspicious noise at night .....................0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing...............0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something...........+5
You pummel it with a six iron................................+10
It's her father............................................ ..-10

Social Engagements
You stay by her side the entire party.....0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
drinking buddy.......-2
Named Tiffany...................-4
Tiffany is a dancer.............-6
Tiffany has implants............-8

Her Birthday
You take her out to dinner..................................0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar ......+1
Okay, it is a sports bar...................................-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night.............................-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
painted the colors of your favorite team..................-10

Thoughtfulness
You forget her birthday completely........................-20
You forget your anniversary...............................-30
You forget to pick her up at the bus station..............-45
Which is in Newark, New Jersey............................-50
And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast...............-60

A Night Out With The Boys
Go out with a pal .........................................-5
And the pal is happily married ............................-4
Or frighteningly single ...................................-7
And he drives a Mustang...................................-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED) ............-15
You have a few beers.......................................-9
And miss curfew by an hour................................-12
You miss curfew by an hour and you didn't call............-20
You get home at 3 am......................................-30
You get home at 3 am smelling of booze and cheap cigars ..-40

Her Night Out
You stay home while she goes out with her annoying friend from
work.................+5
She goes out with her annoying work friends, and she comes home real
late..........+10
You wait up................................................ ......+15
She goes out, comes home late and drunk, and you put her to bed...+20

A Night Out
You take her to a movie.........................................+2
You take her to a movie she likes...............................+4
You take her to a movie you hate ...............................+6
You take her to a movie you like................................-2
It's called DeathCop 3..........................................-3
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans .........-15

Flowers
You buy her flowers only when it's expected..................... 0
You buy her flowers as a surprise, just for the hell of it ....+20
You give her wildflowers you've actually picked yourself ......+30
And she contracts Lyme disease..................................-25

Your Physique
You develop a noticeable potbelly...............................-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of
it....+10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and
baggy Hawaiian shirts.......-30
You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too".........-800

Finances
You spend a lot of money on something impractical................-5
Something she can't use.........................................-10
Such as a motorized model airplane...............................-20
And she got a small appliance for her birthday..................-40

Driving
You lost the directions on a trip...............................-4
You lost the directions and end up getting lost................-10
You end up getting lost in a bad part of town .................-15
You get lost in a bad part of town and meet the locals up close and
personal.........-25
You know them.............................................. ....-60

The Big Question
She asks, "Do I look fat?" .....................................-5
(Sensitive questions always start with a deficit)
You hesitate in responding.....................................-10
You reply, "Where?".......................................... ...-35

Communication
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying
what looks like a concerned expression..............0
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes..........+5
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV...+10
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep...............-20

Duct Tape

Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He
walks over and asks Paul what`s wrong.
"Well," replies Paul, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to
ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"
"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh.
"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to
ask her out, and she agreed."
"That`s great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?"
"I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I`d
get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg,
so if I did, it wouldn`t show."
"Sensible" says Jeff.
"So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it
in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw."
"And what happened then?"
(Paul slumps back over the bar again.)
"I kicked her in the face."

Submitted by Andy N.

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he remembers that
it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a toy store and asks the
salesperson, "How much is the Barbie on the display window?"

The salesperson answers, "Which one? We have:
Work out Barbie for 19.95,
Shopping Barbie for $19.95,
Beach! Barbie for $19.95,
Disco Barbie for $19.95,
and Divorced Barbie for $265.95

The amazed father asks:

"What? Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?"

The salesperson annoyingly answers:
"Sir..., "Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's
Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer and One of Ken's Friends.


Joke submitted by K.C.

A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage.

When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a long, painful
tirade,listing every problem they had ever had. She went on and on and
on about neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling
unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had
endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, the therapist got up, walked around the desk, asked the wife
to stand, and then embraced and kissed her passionately.
The woman quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife
needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied,.. "Well, I can drop her
off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I golf.


Submitted by K.C.

Jokes of the Day

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers .

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?! The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack .

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

Now, admit it. At least one of these made you smile! :)


Thanks to Jerri Rhee for sharing.

Hacienda Heights Trail

Sarah at the Hacienda Heights Trail

Sarah at her coworker's wedding

Sarah's coworker's wedding

ATV Madness

Here's a short clip of me riding on my ATV in Pismo Beach.

Lugeboarding Los Angeles

I'm at it again on my lugeboard going down the 6th Street offramp in Downtown Los Angeles. It's not the fastest or most exciting video, because I was carrying a bunch of stuff in one hand and holding the camera in the other. Plus, I'm a little bit rusty since I didn't longboard in a long time.

Chris Choi, D.D.S. trying to act gangsta with his NY cap on. Unfortunately, he doesn't quite manage to pull it off with his bunny fingers sign, and his smile seems to be upside down.

DarthDavid Kit posing in his new outfit in Second Life. Do you know how many buffalo wings he had to eat to get that costume? Anyhow, he plans on continuing more of his hijinks whenever he can, because he's an attention whore.

Here's a picture of DarthDavid Kit in a stripped down version of his Darth Vader outfit. My computer's slow so it takes awhile for some of the people and environments to fully rez, hence the gray people in the background. The game looks a lot better when you play the game than in this picture. It's fun to create crazy costumes and act funny online. DarthDavid loves telling jokes and makes a ton of new friends all the time. He loves the club scene and exploring new places in Second Life as well. He enjoys being the life of the party and giving virtual gifts to others.

Hey guys, why don't you join him and have some fun? Who knows, you might come up with a good business opportunity and make millions of dollars too. Even mainstream companies are starting to advertise and sell stuff in SL as well.

Second Life Millionaire

Originally, I started to play Second Life after hearing about how one woman became a millionaire playing that game. Ailin Graef, or her avatar's name, Anshe Chung, was the first person to become a real life millionaire after playing that game. She became rich by buying and selling virtual real estate and running other virtual businesses. Now, she employs a bunch of Chinese workers to run her virtual business online. I need to start thinking about what types of businesses I could set up so that I could strike it rich too. Anybody have any good ideas for me?

This article was on the first page of Msn.com.

Remember, you can see me online. My avatar's name is DarthDavid Kit.

Korean Dramas are Becoming World Famous

Check out this short article about Korean dramas. It was listed on Yahoo's front page. Korean dramas are becoming popular with people all over the world. So, it's not just my wife who is into them.

The Simpsons

Check out this hilarious episode of The Simpsons:

The Father, The Son, and The Holy Guest Star, Season 16, Episode 21.

Bart and Homer are caught in the middle of a battle between xtians vs. catolicos.

Classic.

It's a delightful parody about religious intolerance.

If you want to see more, let me know and I'll try to post up more links to The Simpsons and other great shows.

Sunset in Carmel

Carmel during sunset