Around the World in 80 Days with Jackie Chan
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Around the World in 80 Days (2004)
A terrible remake by Disney of Jules Verne's classic novel. Phileas Fogg accepts a challenge by Lord Kelvin to circumnavigate the globe in only 80 Days. Jackie Chan accompanies him as his valet. Along the way, they pick up a French girl in an art gallery in France. She says she wants to see the world to inspire her paintings.
Since Jackie Chan stars in this movie, it's not as bad as it could have been. At least he brings action and comedy to this film. It's not Jackie's best work, however.
The story seems to be have been written by clowns. It's totally goofy and gay. All the gags are pretty lame. I actually liked the older tv version of this movie starring Pierce Brosnan better. That one was less goofy. Brosnan gave it some class.
The movie is fast-paced and is well suited for kids with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). When the camera shows their next destination, the settings look like something from the It's a Small World ride. It's very dorky.
Everyone overacts. They all behave like overgrown children. You can't take anything seriously in this movie.
The movie is colorful, and it looks like it has been filmed in many countries the threesome supposedly traveled through.
There's a lot of scenes that look like they've been deleted. In one scene, the gang is in the Wild West. They meet the Wright Brothers. They ask if they've seen Jackie and the Wright Brothers said that he's in the back of their wagon. I'm sure there were some deleted scenes to keep the movie short. You're just left wondering, "What happened?". How'd Jackie end up in the Wright Brothers' wagon?
Also, it shows that they went over the Himalayas, but they don't show how they crossed it. I'm beginning to seriously doubt that it is possible to cross the world in 80 days back in the late 1800's. There's a lot of similar things in the movie that were just glossed over.
One time, they meet Arnold Schwarzeneggar who plays a Turkish prince. He actually seems to play himself--a womanizing spoiled egotistical governor. He proposes to the French girl to be his Wife #7. This way, he can have a different wife each day of the week. If I was the prince, I would have just one wife and many concubines. I'm just kidding, one wife is enough. I'm happy with just one wife. Arnold asks, "Will Tuesdays work for you?"
The French girl then asks, "You have seven wives?"
No, stupid girl. Arnold has six wives. He's asking you to be his seventh wife. Learn some math instead of drawing your childish pictures. One of her paintings she showed to Fogg was a tic-tac-toe game.
When traveling through China, Jackie reveals that he's one of the 10 Tigers. The 10 Tigers are his brothers and sisters. Why did he travel alone to get the Jade Buddha back? The Chinese warlord had a gang that traveled with her to England.
When Fogg runs off to San Francisco alone, he gets his bags stolen and becomes a stinky bum. Somehow Jackie and Frenchie find him right away in a town as big as San Francisco. Yeah, right!
Near the end, the threesome make a flying contraption from the parts from the boat they're on. The thing looks like it'll fall apart and drop like a rock. Anyway, we're supposed to believe that they can fly and land safely in one piece after all the parts started falling apart.
In the last scene, an imbecile of a sheriff, who has been chasing the three across the world, tries to walk up the steps to the Academy with a broken arm. The cop starts falling back and Jackie tries to help him by grabbing his arm that's in a cast. The cast comes off, and the cop goes tumbling down the steps. Jackie holds the cast and shrugs his arms. Everyone starts laughing. Umm. . .excuse me. A guy with broken bones just fell down a hundred steps. That's something to laugh at? What's Disney trying to teach kids?
The movie had a ton of mistakes, but since it went at a fast pace and had Jackie's humor and fighting sequences in it, it wasn't that bad. I took it for what it was--an adventure comedy. I wasn't entirely bored. It might be a good family film that will entertain the kiddies. The movie went quickly from one scene to the next. I guess the three were in a rush to win the bet, so they didn't stay in one scene too long. I just think that they should have tightened up the loose ends better. There's a lot of scenes in the movie where you wonder, "How'd they do that?"
The Highs: Colorful; sometimes witty; Jackie Chan's fighting; fast pace.
The Lows: Low IQ required to fully appreciate the finer qualities of this movie.
The Verdict: Disney's It's A Small World After All version of Jules Verne's classic.
My rating: C, 71.
Since Jackie Chan stars in this movie, it's not as bad as it could have been. At least he brings action and comedy to this film. It's not Jackie's best work, however.
The story seems to be have been written by clowns. It's totally goofy and gay. All the gags are pretty lame. I actually liked the older tv version of this movie starring Pierce Brosnan better. That one was less goofy. Brosnan gave it some class.
The movie is fast-paced and is well suited for kids with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). When the camera shows their next destination, the settings look like something from the It's a Small World ride. It's very dorky.
Everyone overacts. They all behave like overgrown children. You can't take anything seriously in this movie.
The movie is colorful, and it looks like it has been filmed in many countries the threesome supposedly traveled through.
There's a lot of scenes that look like they've been deleted. In one scene, the gang is in the Wild West. They meet the Wright Brothers. They ask if they've seen Jackie and the Wright Brothers said that he's in the back of their wagon. I'm sure there were some deleted scenes to keep the movie short. You're just left wondering, "What happened?". How'd Jackie end up in the Wright Brothers' wagon?
Also, it shows that they went over the Himalayas, but they don't show how they crossed it. I'm beginning to seriously doubt that it is possible to cross the world in 80 days back in the late 1800's. There's a lot of similar things in the movie that were just glossed over.
One time, they meet Arnold Schwarzeneggar who plays a Turkish prince. He actually seems to play himself--a womanizing spoiled egotistical governor. He proposes to the French girl to be his Wife #7. This way, he can have a different wife each day of the week. If I was the prince, I would have just one wife and many concubines. I'm just kidding, one wife is enough. I'm happy with just one wife. Arnold asks, "Will Tuesdays work for you?"
The French girl then asks, "You have seven wives?"
No, stupid girl. Arnold has six wives. He's asking you to be his seventh wife. Learn some math instead of drawing your childish pictures. One of her paintings she showed to Fogg was a tic-tac-toe game.
When traveling through China, Jackie reveals that he's one of the 10 Tigers. The 10 Tigers are his brothers and sisters. Why did he travel alone to get the Jade Buddha back? The Chinese warlord had a gang that traveled with her to England.
When Fogg runs off to San Francisco alone, he gets his bags stolen and becomes a stinky bum. Somehow Jackie and Frenchie find him right away in a town as big as San Francisco. Yeah, right!
Near the end, the threesome make a flying contraption from the parts from the boat they're on. The thing looks like it'll fall apart and drop like a rock. Anyway, we're supposed to believe that they can fly and land safely in one piece after all the parts started falling apart.
In the last scene, an imbecile of a sheriff, who has been chasing the three across the world, tries to walk up the steps to the Academy with a broken arm. The cop starts falling back and Jackie tries to help him by grabbing his arm that's in a cast. The cast comes off, and the cop goes tumbling down the steps. Jackie holds the cast and shrugs his arms. Everyone starts laughing. Umm. . .excuse me. A guy with broken bones just fell down a hundred steps. That's something to laugh at? What's Disney trying to teach kids?
The movie had a ton of mistakes, but since it went at a fast pace and had Jackie's humor and fighting sequences in it, it wasn't that bad. I took it for what it was--an adventure comedy. I wasn't entirely bored. It might be a good family film that will entertain the kiddies. The movie went quickly from one scene to the next. I guess the three were in a rush to win the bet, so they didn't stay in one scene too long. I just think that they should have tightened up the loose ends better. There's a lot of scenes in the movie where you wonder, "How'd they do that?"
The Highs: Colorful; sometimes witty; Jackie Chan's fighting; fast pace.
The Lows: Low IQ required to fully appreciate the finer qualities of this movie.
The Verdict: Disney's It's A Small World After All version of Jules Verne's classic.
My rating: C, 71.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Help! I've fallen and I can't. . .
I fell off my longboard last night going down a hill near my home. I'm in a lot of pain. I fell on my right hip and my right hand. My wrist is killing me. My right hip is all scraped up. My right hand is only slightly bruised. My skateboard went flying down the hill into the intersection.
My wrist hurts the most though. Hopefully, I'll be okay soon so that I can go to my office party tomorrow. Otherwise, I won't be able to shake peoples' hands. Right now, my wrist hurts every time I move. I have to use my left hand more. I have to learn how to wipe my butt with my other hand.
Fortunately, my skateboard had a green light so it didn't get run over.
Now that I'm older, I can't recover as fast as when I was younger. I used to be able to just get up and go after falling. Now, I have to take a break from skating until I heal. Otherwise, I might really break something if I get hurt again.
I canceled my appointment with the oral surgeon to pull out all 4 of my wisdom teeth. He was going to charge $600 to put me under general anasthesia. That's on top of the $2000 to pull out my teeth. I guess I chickened out. I'm just going to wait a little longer. I've waited this long. I can wait a little longer. I first found out that my wisdom teeth were impacted in law school in 1998. It's been about 8 years already. I wonder if my wisdom teeth are making my teeth become crowded and crooked. I think they are. I might have to get braces again. I hate dentists.
My wrist hurts the most though. Hopefully, I'll be okay soon so that I can go to my office party tomorrow. Otherwise, I won't be able to shake peoples' hands. Right now, my wrist hurts every time I move. I have to use my left hand more. I have to learn how to wipe my butt with my other hand.
Fortunately, my skateboard had a green light so it didn't get run over.
Now that I'm older, I can't recover as fast as when I was younger. I used to be able to just get up and go after falling. Now, I have to take a break from skating until I heal. Otherwise, I might really break something if I get hurt again.
I canceled my appointment with the oral surgeon to pull out all 4 of my wisdom teeth. He was going to charge $600 to put me under general anasthesia. That's on top of the $2000 to pull out my teeth. I guess I chickened out. I'm just going to wait a little longer. I've waited this long. I can wait a little longer. I first found out that my wisdom teeth were impacted in law school in 1998. It's been about 8 years already. I wonder if my wisdom teeth are making my teeth become crowded and crooked. I think they are. I might have to get braces again. I hate dentists.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Skateboarding Down Suicide Hill
This was one of the steepest hills I've been down. It's very steep, trust me. It may not look as steep on video. It's a short hill though. It made for a nice quick ride.
I'm always looking for steeper and longer downhills. I should visit San Francisco with my longboard one of these days.
Everyday is Valentine's Day and Christmas Day at the Kim Family House. Actually, I shouldn't say that. I might have to buy stuff everyday. Here, Sarah is holding her 4 dozen roses. And yes, I've posted this picture so that Sarah can't say I never buy her flowers. Remember what I've said before, folks: Marriage is the key to happiness. Don't forget that. I'm serious.
Andy grew wings that day. I remember I used to beat him when we biked before. Since I didn't ride in several months, I was out of shape. I need to start riding more often. I want to start biking to work again. Andy kicked my ass yesterday. He was so fast. He was so far ahead of me, I couldn't even see him anymore. I'm going to get you Andy. Just you wait!
Sin City
Based upon the graphic novels by Frank Miller, Sin City is a film noir mixed with some ridiculous fantasy elements. Sin City is a world where it's perpetually night time. Sin City is about three separate stories that occassionally intertwine.
One story is about Bruce Willis playing a detective who is trying to save Jessica Alba's life from a nasty disgusting yellow pervert who likes raping little girls. When the little 11 year old girl grows up, she develops into the beautiful Jessica Alba. The little girl falls in love with Willis after he saves her life. The pervert captures her again when Alba grows up. He says she's a little old for his tastes, but he's obsessed with raping her. Willis punches the hell out of him until he's nothing more than a bloody pulp. Bruce Willis and Jessica Alba?! Come on! That's just wrong. I guess Willis realizes this in the end, 'cuz he shoots his own brains out.
The second story is about a fugly tough dude who had sex with a hooker. He was so happy a gorgeous whore had sex with such an ugly guy like him that he believes she's like an angel. Unfortunately, someone kills her in the middle of the night and frames him. He vows to kill whoever did this to her. He finds some weird cannibal with superhuman powers played by Elijah Wood. I'm sorry to see that Elijah is now playing bad guy roles as freaks and geeks. We all loved him as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. We were disapointed when he played a panty sniffing pervert in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Now, he plays this strange cannibal in Sin City. Due to the round glasses he wore in the movie, he looked like Harry Potter. Except this Harry Potter uses his magic powers to eat you up. I can't believe Elijah went from a Hobbitt to a Gollum.
Anyway, this fugly guy finally manages to kill Elijah Wood and chops off his legs. He gets the guard dog to eat his bloody body. He chops off Elijah's head and gives it to the priest, who was behind all these brutal murders. The fugly dude tortures and terminates the evil priest.
The third story is about a guy who tries to stop a bastard from killing other people. He follows him to Old Town, where the hos rule the streets. The ladies of the night dispose of him by slicing the jerk up. Unfortunately, the bastard turns out to be a cop. The truce between the cops and the hookers is that the cops will leave them alone in Old Town unless someone breaks the truce. Killing a cop will break the truce. There's a squealer in the midst of them. The pimps find out and try to get the bastard's head to show to the cops. This way, the cops will kill the whores and the pimps will be in control once again. The main guy asks the prostitutes to give him a car with a hard top, a decent engine, and a large trunk to dispose of the bodies. The pimps intercept him. There's a big battle in the streets and the hookers prevail by shooting all the pimps from on top the buildings. Yeah, the working girls win!
This movie is very gritty, ugly, and dark. It's made in Frank Miller's comic book style. The movie is very original. The premise of the film is interesting. Unfortunately, it should have been left as a premise. I think it would have been better if it stayed as a comic book than to make it into a movie. I just didn't like it that much. It was hard to watch, because it was kinda boring except for the violent parts. Even the violent parts were hard to stomach because it was so gruesome. I think it was more violent than Kill Bill in some ways.
Every woman in Sin City is a hooker and every guy is a thug. The movie was kinda bizarre. Well, one obvious thing is that it's in black and white. --And red, for blood.
I like full color. It was stylish, but it wasn't my style. Everyone looked really ugly.
The good: Ultra-violent. Very gruesome fighting and torture scenes. Original and stylish.
The bad: Boring between the violent scenes. I got tired of all their dumb narrations. Shot in black and white and red. I like full color. Color would have made the dismemberments more graphic. Jessica Alba loves Bruce Willis in the movie.
Entertainment: 66
Violence: 92
Story: 61
Acting: 72. This was the hardest to rate. It has to be rated in two different ways. On one hand, the acting is cheesy, because it's based on a cheesy comic book. On the other hand, the acting is great if it's supposed to be just like the comic book.
Overall average: C, 72.
One story is about Bruce Willis playing a detective who is trying to save Jessica Alba's life from a nasty disgusting yellow pervert who likes raping little girls. When the little 11 year old girl grows up, she develops into the beautiful Jessica Alba. The little girl falls in love with Willis after he saves her life. The pervert captures her again when Alba grows up. He says she's a little old for his tastes, but he's obsessed with raping her. Willis punches the hell out of him until he's nothing more than a bloody pulp. Bruce Willis and Jessica Alba?! Come on! That's just wrong. I guess Willis realizes this in the end, 'cuz he shoots his own brains out.
The second story is about a fugly tough dude who had sex with a hooker. He was so happy a gorgeous whore had sex with such an ugly guy like him that he believes she's like an angel. Unfortunately, someone kills her in the middle of the night and frames him. He vows to kill whoever did this to her. He finds some weird cannibal with superhuman powers played by Elijah Wood. I'm sorry to see that Elijah is now playing bad guy roles as freaks and geeks. We all loved him as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. We were disapointed when he played a panty sniffing pervert in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Now, he plays this strange cannibal in Sin City. Due to the round glasses he wore in the movie, he looked like Harry Potter. Except this Harry Potter uses his magic powers to eat you up. I can't believe Elijah went from a Hobbitt to a Gollum.
Anyway, this fugly guy finally manages to kill Elijah Wood and chops off his legs. He gets the guard dog to eat his bloody body. He chops off Elijah's head and gives it to the priest, who was behind all these brutal murders. The fugly dude tortures and terminates the evil priest.
The third story is about a guy who tries to stop a bastard from killing other people. He follows him to Old Town, where the hos rule the streets. The ladies of the night dispose of him by slicing the jerk up. Unfortunately, the bastard turns out to be a cop. The truce between the cops and the hookers is that the cops will leave them alone in Old Town unless someone breaks the truce. Killing a cop will break the truce. There's a squealer in the midst of them. The pimps find out and try to get the bastard's head to show to the cops. This way, the cops will kill the whores and the pimps will be in control once again. The main guy asks the prostitutes to give him a car with a hard top, a decent engine, and a large trunk to dispose of the bodies. The pimps intercept him. There's a big battle in the streets and the hookers prevail by shooting all the pimps from on top the buildings. Yeah, the working girls win!
This movie is very gritty, ugly, and dark. It's made in Frank Miller's comic book style. The movie is very original. The premise of the film is interesting. Unfortunately, it should have been left as a premise. I think it would have been better if it stayed as a comic book than to make it into a movie. I just didn't like it that much. It was hard to watch, because it was kinda boring except for the violent parts. Even the violent parts were hard to stomach because it was so gruesome. I think it was more violent than Kill Bill in some ways.
Every woman in Sin City is a hooker and every guy is a thug. The movie was kinda bizarre. Well, one obvious thing is that it's in black and white. --And red, for blood.
I like full color. It was stylish, but it wasn't my style. Everyone looked really ugly.
The good: Ultra-violent. Very gruesome fighting and torture scenes. Original and stylish.
The bad: Boring between the violent scenes. I got tired of all their dumb narrations. Shot in black and white and red. I like full color. Color would have made the dismemberments more graphic. Jessica Alba loves Bruce Willis in the movie.
Entertainment: 66
Violence: 92
Story: 61
Acting: 72. This was the hardest to rate. It has to be rated in two different ways. On one hand, the acting is cheesy, because it's based on a cheesy comic book. On the other hand, the acting is great if it's supposed to be just like the comic book.
Overall average: C, 72.
The Aviator
This movie is about the story of Howard Hughes. Leonardo DiCaprio plays the eccentric billionaire. Hughes was a pioneer in the film industry and in aviation. He was also a major playboy who loved dating Hollywood movie stars.
Cate Blanchett plays Katharine Hepburn. Blanchett does a good job of playing her. She looked a lot like Hepburn too. Unfortunately, she didn't look that attractive. Plus, her voice was really annoying. That New England accent is really unnattractive.
DiCaprio looked kinda whimpy too. He looked like a little boy playing an older man.
I didn't like the introductory scene with little Howard Hughes getting bathed by his mother. That was uncomfortably awkward to watch. He looked like a six year old boy. No wonder why he had problems later on.
DiCaprio did a good job showing his obsessive compulsive disorder. What I didn't like was that it showed too much of it. There were too many long scenes of Hughes going through his mental disorders. It was uncomfortable to watch. They did a good job of showing his disorder--perhaps too good of a job. I just think that those scenes slowed the movie down. I got the point. I wanted to move on and see the rest of his story.
Howard Hughes was a remarkable man. He made great innovations in film and in aviation. He broke speed and distance records on his planes. He bought TWA and stuck to his guns against the evil President of Pan Am, and he went through the senate hearings led by the nefarious Senator Owen Brewster with honor.
Hughes was a genius and a madman.
My rating: B+, 89.
Cate Blanchett plays Katharine Hepburn. Blanchett does a good job of playing her. She looked a lot like Hepburn too. Unfortunately, she didn't look that attractive. Plus, her voice was really annoying. That New England accent is really unnattractive.
DiCaprio looked kinda whimpy too. He looked like a little boy playing an older man.
I didn't like the introductory scene with little Howard Hughes getting bathed by his mother. That was uncomfortably awkward to watch. He looked like a six year old boy. No wonder why he had problems later on.
DiCaprio did a good job showing his obsessive compulsive disorder. What I didn't like was that it showed too much of it. There were too many long scenes of Hughes going through his mental disorders. It was uncomfortable to watch. They did a good job of showing his disorder--perhaps too good of a job. I just think that those scenes slowed the movie down. I got the point. I wanted to move on and see the rest of his story.
Howard Hughes was a remarkable man. He made great innovations in film and in aviation. He broke speed and distance records on his planes. He bought TWA and stuck to his guns against the evil President of Pan Am, and he went through the senate hearings led by the nefarious Senator Owen Brewster with honor.
Hughes was a genius and a madman.
My rating: B+, 89.
The March of the Penguins
Penguins
An awesome documentary about the lives of Emperor Penguins.
Each summer, the penguins come up on top of the ice in Antarctica for mating season. Thousands of them march together in single file and gather together to their breeding grounds.
It's amazing what they have to go through. They have to brave 150 mph blizzard storms, seals, and other dangers to keep their species alive.
Once they gather to their breeding grounds, they each have to find a husband or wife. Once they find each other, they fall in love and then make love. They look into each others' eyes and kiss with their beaks. The guy comes around behind the female and makes love. Sometimes, it looks like the guy stands on top of the female while they do it.
Once the egg is laid, the father has to keep the egg warm until it hatches. The mother goes off for a few months to feed, fatten herself up, and bring food for the baby. During this time, the father doesn't eat anything and has to keep the baby warm during these blizzards.
A lot of eggs and babies die during these storms. The penguins look really depressed when they see their own babies dying. This film proves that they have feelings. Penguins have souls.
Once the mother returns, it's the father's turn to go off and feed. If mother doesn't come back in time, father and baby will die. The mother regurgitates the food to feed the baby. The baby eats the barf from the mother's beaks.
The baby penguins are super cute.
It was sad to see one of the predator birds kill one of the baby penguins. You feel that the bird was evil, but it probably had to feed its own kids.
That's life in the wild.
The good: Amazing camera shots of the penguins. Cute baby penguins.
The bad: Even though it was a short film, a lot of it was the same stuff. ---Showing penguins over and over. They all look the same to me.
The verdict: This amazing cinematic documentary humanizes penguins to the point that people begin to believe they have souls.
My rating: B, 88.
Million Dollar Baby
A white trash waitress dreams of becoming the welterweight boxing champion of the world.
Clint Eastwood, Morgan Freeman, and Hillary Swank give great performances. Unfortunately, the movie seems a little long and boring.
There were a lot of touching moments. Unlike, other boxing movies, where the star becomes the champ, this movie has a surprise twist. After fighting against the current champion, a cold hearted ex-hooker who plays dirty, Swank gets hit after the bell rings. Swank is surprised and falls onto the stool head first. She becomes paralyzed from the neck down. At the hospital, she bites her tongue trying to kill herself. She asks Eastwood to euthanize her. At first, Eastwood says no, because of his catholic beliefs. But after seeing her in such pain, Eastwood gives her peace by sending her to heaven. It provides a thought-provoking message. What would you do if your loved one was suffering so much?
One thing I didn't like was how Eastwood blamed Freeman for encouraging him to train her in the first place. He says it's all Freeman's fault that she ended up in the hospital. I thought it was Eastwood's fault. When the bell rang, he put the stool at her corner. Once Swank got hit, everything went in slow motion. He saw her falling slowly head first towards the stool. Instead of pulling the stool out, we see him standing there shouting, "Nooooo!!!!!!" Eastwood should have pulled the stool out of her way really quickly. Okay, maybe I'm being too unrealistic. I've been watching too many Matrix movies.
The Good: Great acting performances by all the lead characters. Good story. It shows what most people go through instead of ending up with happy endings. It shows failure and permanent paralysis.
The Bad: The movie feels long and boring during the everyday filler scenes.
The Ugly: Girls that box aren't pretty. The retarded wannabe boxer. --Why does there need to be a retarded comic relief guy in so many movies?
My rating: B, 88.
Clint Eastwood, Morgan Freeman, and Hillary Swank give great performances. Unfortunately, the movie seems a little long and boring.
There were a lot of touching moments. Unlike, other boxing movies, where the star becomes the champ, this movie has a surprise twist. After fighting against the current champion, a cold hearted ex-hooker who plays dirty, Swank gets hit after the bell rings. Swank is surprised and falls onto the stool head first. She becomes paralyzed from the neck down. At the hospital, she bites her tongue trying to kill herself. She asks Eastwood to euthanize her. At first, Eastwood says no, because of his catholic beliefs. But after seeing her in such pain, Eastwood gives her peace by sending her to heaven. It provides a thought-provoking message. What would you do if your loved one was suffering so much?
One thing I didn't like was how Eastwood blamed Freeman for encouraging him to train her in the first place. He says it's all Freeman's fault that she ended up in the hospital. I thought it was Eastwood's fault. When the bell rang, he put the stool at her corner. Once Swank got hit, everything went in slow motion. He saw her falling slowly head first towards the stool. Instead of pulling the stool out, we see him standing there shouting, "Nooooo!!!!!!" Eastwood should have pulled the stool out of her way really quickly. Okay, maybe I'm being too unrealistic. I've been watching too many Matrix movies.
The Good: Great acting performances by all the lead characters. Good story. It shows what most people go through instead of ending up with happy endings. It shows failure and permanent paralysis.
The Bad: The movie feels long and boring during the everyday filler scenes.
The Ugly: Girls that box aren't pretty. The retarded wannabe boxer. --Why does there need to be a retarded comic relief guy in so many movies?
My rating: B, 88.
The Incredibles
The Incredibles
This is definitely the best Disney/Pixar animated film ever made. It is a terrific blend of great animation, action, and humor. Although it's a kids' movie, it's still fun for the whole family.
It's full of humorous parodies about comic book superheroes. Other superhero movies have humor that comes across as cheesy. But, the humor in The Incredibles comes across really well, perhaps because it's an animated film. We knew that the movie didn't take itself seriously and so we loved the humor. One of Mr. Incredibles' last remaining superhero friends, Frozone-an African American Iceman, tells a story about how a villain kept monologueing after he caught Frozone instead of killing him like in other superhero movies. Another humorous parody was when Mr. Incredible tells the family that their identity is their most important power and hands them those tiny black masks that only covers their eyes like raccoons.
The movie contains elements from Superman, James Bond, Spiderman, Batman, Fantastic Four, and Spy Kids. This animated movie puts the Fantastic Four to shame.
Mr. Incredible fights crime and never has time for a break. His biggest fan, Buddy, wants to be his sidekick, but he tells him that he works alone.
Later, Mr. Incredible marries Elastigirl. They have three kids, Violet, Dash, and Jack Jack. After Mr. Incredible saves a guy who tried to kill himself. The guy sues Mr. Incredible because he didn't want to be saved. Now, the guy has a broken neck. The lawsuit sparks a series of lawsuits against other superheroes. The government grants the superheroes amnesty if they stop using their superpowers to save people. They go through a government relocation program to lead lives as average citizens. The government is tired of spending tons of money paying off these lawsuits. They believe the superheroes are a bigger liability than a benefit.
Mr. Incredible gets a job as an insurance agent with a boss who is constantly looking over his shoulder. Incredible wants to help people, but his company is primarily concerned about making money for its shareholders. The company comes up with any excuse to deny a claim. Incredible hates his boring job denying claims to people who need help. Even his son has difficulties staying out of trouble. Dash wants to be in sports to show off his incredible speed, but his mom doesn't let him. She knows that he'll be too good and that everyone will know that they're "Supers".
One day, Incredible sees someone being robbed while his boss is reprimanding him. Incredible loses his temper and throws his boss through several walls to the other side of the building. He loses his job. One day, a mysterious woman named Mirage tells him that she has a secret mission for him.
Incredible is excited about reliving the old days. He finishes his job of stopping a superhero-killing robot that he was asked to do. Syndrome, the evil supervillain, makes another robot and captures Incredible. Syndrome starts monologueing and tells him that he was Buddy. He wants to create a killing machine that only he can stop. He creates a robot that kills off all the other superheros. He wants the glory all for himself.
Incredible's family comes to the rescue. Elastigirl is like Mr. Fantastic. She is really flexible. Violet is like Invisigirl. She can turn invisible and make force fields. Dash is like the Flash. He's superquick. There's one chase scene in the jungles of the island that look like the speederbike chase scene from Return of the Jedi. Jack Jack, the baby, has strange powers of being able to turn into the Human Torch, metal man, and a baby demon.
This is a great movie for the whole family. It has great 3D animation, action, and humor. This is one of the best superhero movies ever made.
My rating: A, 92.
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