Another Joke

A woman walks into a hillbilly bar. She eats some food, but gets something caught in her throat. She starts panicking and turns blue. One hillbilly asks her if she is okay and she shakes her head "no". The hillbilly then pulls down her skirt and panties and starts licking her butt. The woman was so startled she coughs up the food that was caught in her throat and starts to breathe again. The hillbilly walks back to the bar. Another hillbilly says, "Wow! I've heard of it being done, but I've never actually seen anyone do the hindlick maneuver before."

The Chevy SSR. I guess this hotrod truck would be more practical than a Miata, but you can't really carry that much or tow much. I have more pictures on my Yahoo Photo Album. Let me know if you want to see more. I'll give you the link. You can also find the link to my Photo Album through my past blogs. 

This Vette seems to be a good fit for me. If only the freeways were like the autobahn... 

The 400 hundred horse power Cadillac CTS-V. Now, this ain't your daddy's Cadillac.  

So many different colors to choose from. I don't think that I should get a Vette though, because I'm sure I'll probably be sent to jail. You know that I always have to test out the maximum speed on the roads. I'll probably just get a minivan for my next car to drive around my future mini-me's and mini-Sarah's. The thought of having kids scares me though, because I'm so tired from working right now. I can't imagine how much more tired I'll be once we have kids. 

Here's a Saturn spyder they're planning on launching soon. This is a good image car for Saturn, because Saturn doesn't have any hot cars yet. 

Sarah also drove some hot cars. Unfortunately, she failed to seize upon the opportunity to drive like a maniac. She just drove the speed limit instead. Boring. 

I wish I had pictures and videos to show you guys of my crazy awesome driving skills. You all know I'm the best driver, right? 

Here are some pictures from GM's Auto Show In Motion. Sarah and I got to drive a bunch of different cars, but we didn't take pictures of the cars that we drove. It was like a race course there so we felt too pressured to get in and drive. Plus, it was too dangerous too take pictures on the course. People were driving way too fast there. I got to drive the Corvette, Cadillac CTS-V, Chevy SSR, and the Pontiac GTO. Those cars all had 400 horses. I also enjoyed driving the Hummer H2 on the offroad course. I also liked the BMW 530i, Audi A4, and the Hydrogen Fuel Cell Electric Car. I plan on going there again real soon. 

Here's Sarah and I riding this 2005 Z06 Corvette. We went to GM's Autoshow in Motion on Sunday, July 31, 2005. I got to drive this 400 horsepower monster and smoked the tires. It was awesome. We got to drive a bunch of other cars too. We had a blast.  

You're wonderful!

If you are in need of some good affirmation, click on the title of this post. It's an easy way to get some instant support. Put your real name where requested and you'll feel better.

Some churchy jokes

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to hermother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is thecolor of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." Thechildthought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearingblack?"

---------------------------------------------------A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as shecould, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed,"Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let mebelate!"While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell,getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushedherselfoff, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray,"Dear Lord, please don't let me be late... But please don't shove meeither!"


-------------------------------------------------A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on andon. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if wegive him the money now, will he let us go?"

-----------------------------------------------An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requestedno male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorialservice she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don'twantthem to take me out when I'm dead.

----------------------------------------------A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if youhad to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

---------------------------------------------A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissedthem to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"Anniereplied, "Because people are sleeping."

----------------------------------------------Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesuswith them to Jerusalem. A small child replied "They couldn't get a babysitter."

------------------------------------------------A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with herfive and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thyfather and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teachesushowto treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one littleboyanswered, "Thou shall not kill."

-----------------------------------------------At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when theytold himhow Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week hismothernoticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what isthe matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I thinkI'mgoing to have a wife."

------------------------------------------------Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing strongpreachingon the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all thisSatanstuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turnedout.It's probably just your dad."

------------------------------------------------"How come you're late?" asked the bartender, as the blonde waitresswalked into the bar. "It was awful," she explained. "I was walking downElmstreet and there was a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his carandhewas lying in the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull wasfractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took thatfirst-aid course." "What did you do?" asked the bartender. "I sat downandput myhead between my knees to keep from fainting.

B.A.S.E. jumping

Click on the title of this post to see an awesome B.A.S.E. jumping video. I want to try this so bad. All I need to do is make a parachute or steal Mary Poppins' umbrella.

The Sith Rejects

Click on the title of this post to see an animated presentation of The Sith Rejects. Little did we know that there were a lot of Darths before George Lucas chose Vader.

Rosso

Check out Rockstar Brian Greenwood's band, Rosso, with these links:

www.rosso-band.com

www.myspace.com/briangreenwood

I met him at work. He's an attorney, rock star, poet, and a tennis coach. He has amazing talent. Sarah and I are going to see him in his next concert.

Hey, Brian.





You can also buy his book, "Hate to Feel" from BarnesandNoble.com:

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=Uh6ZunrBJ6&isbn=0595228410&itm=1

It has really good reviews.

The Law Firm

Watch "The Law Firm" on NBC Thursday, July 28, 2005-9/8 PM. Click on the link to see my friend from law school, Kelly Chang, go for $250,000. I hope she wins.

http://www.nbc.com/The_Law_Firm/bios/

It's a reality tv show about attorneys. It looks like The Apprentice, except it deals with lawyers working on real cases. Sounds intriguing.

All my new friends on myspace.com

I can't believe the amount of new friends that I have on myspace.com. As soon as I opened an account, I literally had hundreds of new people who wanted to be my friend. I feel like I'm an internet celebrity. Go to www.myspace.com/davidmkim or click on the title of this post. You can make your own webpage too. You'll get tons of requests from strangers who want to be your friend. It's been fun so far. Sorry to my new myspace.com friends regarding the fact that I can't respond back to you promptly. My email is flooded with too many requests and junk right now. Generally, they're a great bunch of people.

Some humor I got from work

The chicken and the horse... On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog andbegan to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken togo get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail,for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chickenspied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chickensped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend'slife. Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arriveon the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of thefarmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of thepowerful bike, rescued the horse! Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and thefarmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the twoanimals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals. A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, beganto sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment,walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he toldthe chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, savinghis life. The moral of the story? (yep, there's a moral!) "When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks!"



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Don't delete this because it looks weird..... Believe it or not you can read it. **********************************************************************

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My Space

I just created a myspace account. You can check it out at

www.myspace.com/davidmkim

I just made it so it's pretty plain so far. Now, I have to work on more sites other than this blog. This is getting to be more and more work. It's fun, but I'm running out of valuable time playing Xbox games.

I have other things going on besides working on my blog and my homepage, you know. I have to go to work, cook and clean, and try to play videogames. So, I'm pretty swamped right now.




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