Joke of the Day

A man gets up one morning to find his wife in the kitchen cooking, he looks to see what she's cooking, and sees one of his socks in frying pan.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"I'm doing what you asked me to do last night when you came to bed very drunk," she replied.

Completely puzzled, the man walks away thinking to himself, "I don't remember asking her to cook my sock..."

Tricks to Liven Up a Meeting

TRICKS TO LIVEN UP A MEETING

- Stand up and act indignant. Demand that the boss tell you the 'real' reason this meeting has been called.

- Spill coffee on the conference table. Produce a little paper boat and sail it down the table.

- Stay behind as everyone else, including the boss, leaves. Thank them for coming.

- Give a broad wink to someone else at the table. In time, wink at everyone. Sometimes shake your head just a little, as if to indicate that the speaker is slightly crazy and everybody knows it.

- Arrange to have a poorly-dressed young woman with an infant quietly enter the meeting, stare directly at the (male) speaker for a while, burst into tears, then leave the room.

- Bring a hand puppet, preferably an animal . Ask it to clarify difficult points.

- When there is a call for questions, lean back in your chair, prop your feet up on the table, smile contentedly, and say, "Well, here's the way I see it, J.B..." (or any other impressive-sounding initials that are not actually your boss's.)

- Complain loudly that your neighbour won't stop touching you. Demand that the boss make him/her stop doing it.

- Bring a small mountain of computer printouts to the meeting. If possible, include some old-fashioned fanfold paper for dramatic effect. Every time the speaker makes a point, pretend to check it in one of the printouts. Pretend to find substantiating evidence there. Nod vigorously, and say "uh-huh, uh-huh!"

Someone has an unfair advantage. . .unless you have a jesus fish on your bumper, then you're about even.

Ha ha! A lot of stuff are addicted to me!

Watch out for guys at parties. This reminds me of a scene in Dead Poet's Society when that kid saw the girl he liked passed out at a party. It also reminds me of a scene in the movie Kids when that guy sees the girl passed out on the couch.

This is why you should wear black biking shorts.

Poor Marc Brown from Channel 7's ABC news in Los Angeles. . .

Xtian "Halo" game for the Xbox. It's about time someone makes a kick ass xtian videogame. All the xtian games right now are hella boring like that game, "Left Behind" for the PC. You go around getting other people to be believers so that they will be saved.

Lord of the Rings Parody

This is a humorous parody gif file for LOTR geeks.

Man, it was a hot day yesterday. It was over 90 degrees where I was. It's not even officially spring yet. That means it's still officially winter. When I was biking home, I felt like my skin was on fire. I have heat and sun allergies too which make my skin get all rashy, bumpy, and painfully itchy.

Biking through Chinatown. When Andy and I went to Griffith Park, I reached my personal best record speed on this bike at 43.6 mph. I beat my last record of 42 mph. My all time personal best record is still at 48 mph. I reached that speed going downhill on Gennessee in San Diego on my way to La Jolla. It was a long straight downhill where I could reach that speed. My bike kinda started getting unstable though going that fast. It was kinda scary. This was on my mountain bike too, the Parkpre (Park Precision) Sledgehammer.

Andy in front of the Old Chinatown plaza. We biked up to Griffith Park and back. It was a nice scenic ride.

Angel's Flight Ticket Booth

Angel's Flight

California Water Court Plaza. (In my Pictures of Los Angeles series)

Mellon Center

Westin Bonaventure Hotel

Cesar Chavez and Spring. I was going straight east on Cesar Chavez when that bus made a left turn on to Cesar Chavez on a red light. Then, it kept moving towards the right to pick up passengers and stopped on the corner of Cesar Chavez and Spring. That stupid bus driver made me hit that yellow road sign. Damn him!

My bike revisiting the scene of the accident

This is the road sign that I hit with my bike. As mentioned in my prior post entitled "Stupid Bus Drivers!", a stupid bus driver made a left turn at a red light right in front of me. It then stopped to pick up bus riders right at the corner. I had a green light going east on Cesar Chavez. If I had kept going straight, I would have been squashed by that dumb bus.

I was going about 30 mph downhill and braked hard, but still kept skidding right into that road sign. Now, it's bent. I wonder if I should sue the Metro Bus line for negligence. Fortunately, I am okay, but I could have been killed!