Top 50 Things To Do In an Elevator

I usually do nothing but stare in front of me when I'm on an elevator. This list will help me "break the ice" with people on a dumbwaiter.


1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, “Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!”
4. Whistle the first seven notes of ‘It’s a Small World’ incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, crash from side to side as if you’re on rough seas.
7. Shave. (Especially if you’re a woman.)
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask: “Got enough air in there?”
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: “Noogie patrol coming!”
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you, “Admiral”.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “plink” at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce, “I’ve got new socks on!”
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, “Oh, not now. Damn motion sickness!”
19. Give religious literature to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter “Gotta go, gotta go,” then sigh and say, “oops!”
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing, “Mary Had a Little Lamb,” while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler, “Chutes away!” whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says “human head” on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, “You’re one of THEM!” and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say “Mmmm…tasty!”
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and make it talk to the other passengers.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, “Is that your beeper?”
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say, “Ding!” at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say, “I wonder what all these do,” and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your “personal space”.
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: “Wanna see wha in muh mouf?”
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear “X-Ray Specs” and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say, “I think it’s getting larger.”
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, “Bad touch!”

Raging Bull

Bull, originally uploaded by David Kim.

Remind me never to become a bullfighter.

The Central Library in L.A. First floor. Sorry all the pictures are mixed up. I blame Picasa's Hello for the screw up. If I load the pictures too quickly, they get uploaded out of order. Even though I'm still nauseated, I went out and took some pictures. I'm usually always in the office and hardly ever go out. I thought getting some fresh air would help me. Anyway, this guy in this picture saw me holding up my camera when I was trying to take this picture. It looked like he wanted to get out of the way or see who I was taking a picture of, but he was too late. 

The ceiling of the 2nd Floor 

Second Floor 

Second Floor of the Central Library. 

The ceiling of the Central Library. 

Looking down from the 3rd floor 

They should make a waterslide for people that work here. 

Farmer's market 

Central Library. Third floor. 

Some funky orange outdoor artwork.  

Farmer's market on 5th Street. It's open every Wednesday. 

Nice office building. This is at the Bank of America building. 

Back to the Doctor's Office

I went to see the doctor again. He said that the blood and urine tests came out fine. My glucose levels are a little high and my cholesterol level is a tad high. Otherwise, I'm okay. My poo samples were screwed up so I have to drop off my poo at the doctor's again.

I asked him, "Why am I going to the bathroom so much?"

The doctor thinks it's because I have anxiety.

But, I wake up in the middle of the night to pee. I'm not anxious when I'm sleeping. Or is it because I'm generally anxious all the time?

My symptoms have gotten worse over the last year or so. Maybe when my troubles that are stressing me out go away, I'll be in better health.

I must have gotten the flu yesterday after I got food poisoning. I've got the chills, sweats, and fever. I feel terrible.

DAVIDy KIMet's A Series of Unfortunate Events

It was a dark and stormy night. The rain was pouring cats and dogs. The wind was howling loudly. I couldn't sleep all night because of food poisoning.

I ate some cereal yesterday after work. I put some golden raisins in there. I was on the computer while I was eating and I didn't look at what went in my mouth. After a bite, I tasted some nastiness. It tasted like a really bad burnt rotten raisin. I also took a whole bunch of vitamins afterwards. I'm not sure what caused the food poisoning, but I was sick all night. I'm still sick now. All the toxins seemed to be spewing out of every orifice I have. I had diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, chills, cold sweats, hot sweats, and general overall pain.

I was puking and crapping all night. I was so tired, but the pain prevented me from falling asleep. Plus, as I've mentioned before, I have to keep going pee and poo for some reason. That kept me up too. I'm going to see a doctor today for those yucky symptoms. I'm a walking zombie these days.

I went to work today, even though I'm feeling worse than last Thursday. As you know, I've puked my guts out at the office party too because of too many drinks.

My right wrist is acting up again. It's hurting so bad without me even moving it. My right leg and hip is still scarred up and scabby. They're getting really itchy.

Then, my Honda Accord started acting strangely too. It's making this rattling noise from somewhere in the engine bay. Dang! I thought Hondas are the best cars. This Accord is really letting me down. I used to drive my Mustang really hard and she took all the punishment I gave her without any problems until at least 100K miles. I hope the Honda gets fixed under warranty. It seems like everything is a money pit these days. No matter how much we struggle to save, there's always something that's draining away our money.

I'm still nauseated as I'm typing this. I had to puke a lot several times at work. I was making loud horrible regurgitating noises. They echoed throughout the halls. Fortunately, no one came in to the bathroom as I was blowing out all my chunks. That would have been embarrassing.

I don't know what's wrong with me. It seems like everything is going downhill for me. Not in a fun skateboarding way, but downhill in terms of everything's falling apart in my life.

These health issues combined still don't bother me as much as the serious crap I'm going through right now. I might tell you later if everything works out. Right now, don't ask me what's really bothering me, or I might bite your head off. I'm still in an extremely bad mood over my serious nonhealth-related problems.

Just Read My Blog

Sometimes, when people ask me what's new in my life, I just want to tell them, "You haven't been reading my blog, have you?" Hello, people, I'm writing practically everything that's going on in my life on my blog. If you want to know, what's going on, then just read my blog. Thanks.

I don't want to have to tell you in person, since I don't like repeating myself. Well, sometimes I do, like when I want to say, "I told you so."

Due to the internet and other technological changes our society is going through, I feel that there's less need for social interaction. Pretty soon, we'll just be IM'ing each other instead of talking. I think that's going on already.

Whatever happens in Vegas may stay in Vegas, but whatever happens in L.A., stays in my blog. Or, whatever happens in my life, goes in my blog.

Okay, I'm insane. Forget everything I said.

Overlooking the valley near Charleton Flats. This is up the mountains near my old place in La Canada. It's up Angeles Crest. I used to call this my backyard since I went mountain biking here all the time back in high school. 

Near Mt. Waterman. We went hiking in the snow. Sarah needed to get some fresh air, since L.A. is a smog pit. Whatever happens in L.A., stays in. . .my blog. 

Breathe in all that clean mountain air. This is near Snow Crest.