Constantine

Constantine in Hell 

Sometimes, or most of the time, I enjoy watching popcorn movies. By this I mean movies that you just watch for the visual effects alone without having to think too much. You just sit back and enjoy the ride. Since I'm writing movie reviews, however, I feel that I need to analyze and rate the movies that I watch.

Constantine is definitely one of those popcorn movies. It's possible to enjoy it if you like sci-fi and action. I found that I was asking to many questions while I was watching it though. It was hard to make sense of the plot.

John Constantine (Keanu Reeves) is an exorcist who has the ability to see demons and angels. He doesn't appreciate this gift he has and once ended his life because he couldn't stand seeing all these demons all over the place. He has seen things humans aren't meant to see. He goes to hell because he committed suicide, but gets a second chance at life. He hopes to earn his way to heaven by sending the demons that try to enter the earthly realm back to hell.

This movie is based on a DC Comics series, but I'm not familiar with it. Constantine is better off being a comic book. As a movie, I don' think it would have enough appeal to a wider audience.

It appears that God and Satan have made a wager to see who will go to heaven and who will go to hell. The angels and demons can only encourage or discourage humans by whispering thoughts into their minds. They are not allowed to interfere physically. Things start to change as demons start entering into the physical realm.

In the end, Constantine sacrifices himself by trading his life so that another woman's soul can leave hell and eternal torment and enter heaven. By doing this, he earns his place in heaven. He starts getting raptured into heaven. The devil is furious as he begins rising up. Constantine gives Satan the finger while he's floating up, and this pisses the devil off. He's so mad that he grabs onto Constantine and puts his hands into Constantine's lungs'. The devil cures Constantine's lung cancer and now Constantine is alive and well again. After Satan and the great archangel Gabriel fight it out, Gabriel gets blasted by Satan's fire spell. Somehow Gabriel loses her angelhood and becomes human, perhaps because God is upset with her constant interference. After Gabriel loses her wings, Constantine punches her face really hard. Then, Constantine goes on with his life and continues exorcising and sending demons back to hell. He stops smoking cigarettes and starts chewing nicotine gum.

This movie just didn't make sense. It seemed to be a mish mash of other movies like the Matrix and the Exorcist. I think the plot sucked. It had an interesting premise, but the movie just didn't live up to the great ideas that the producers were hoping to portray.

My rating: F, 57.