AN OLD MAN, A
BOY AND A DONKEY
WERE GOING TO TOWN. THE BOY RODE ON
THE DONKEY AND THE
OLD MAN WALKED.
AS THEY WENT ALONG THEY PASSED
SOME PEOPLE WHO
REMARKED THAT IT
WAS A SHAME THE OLD MAN WAS WALKING
WHILE THE BOY WAS
RIDING.
THE MAN AND BOY THOUGHT MAYBE THE
CRITICS WERE RIGHT, SO
THEY CHANGED
POSITIONS.
LATER THEY PASSED SOME PEOPLE WHO
REMARKED, "WHAT A SHAME! HE MAKES
THAT LITTLE BOY WALK." THEY DECIDED
THEY BOTH WOULD WALK!
SOON THEY PASSED SOME MORE PEOPLE
WHO THOUGHT THEY WERE STUPID TO
WALK WHEN THEY HAD A DECENT DONKEY
TO RIDE.
SO THEY BOTH RODE THE DONKEY!
NOW THEY PASSED SOME PEOPLE WHO
SHAMED THEM BY SAYING, "HOW AWFUL TO
PUT SUCH A LOAD ON A POOR DONKEY!"
THE BOY AND MAN SAID THEY WERE
PROBABLY RIGHT, SO THEY DECIDED
TO CARRY THE DONKEY.
AS THEY CROSSED A BRIDGE, THEY LOST
THEIR GRIP ON
THE ANIMAL, AND HE FELL
INTO THE RIVER AND DROWNED.
THE MORAL OF
THE STORY?
IF YOU TRY TO PLEASE EVERYONE,
YOU WILL EVENTUALLY LOSE
YOUR ASS.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Monday, February 19, 2007
Korean New Year's
I pigged out again on Korean New Year's. I went to my parents' place for some Korean BBQ (Kal-bi) and Korean Traditional Rice Cake Soup (Dduk-gook). My mom kept telling me to eat more and so I obeyed. I paid for it later when I was trying to sleep. I was so stuffed I couldn't sleep. I always overeat. I have to control myself, but I lack the discipline to do so. I kept tossing and turning in bed. I even thought about going to work at midnight so I could get an early start.
I need to eat less and exercise more. That's the key to a long and healthy life.
I need to eat less and exercise more. That's the key to a long and healthy life.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
My Motobecane Nemesis triathlon bike soaking in the sun next to the office window on the 40th Floor.
I'm starting to bike to work again and it's awesome! I'm breaking all my old records that I had on my mountain bike. Now, my record is 29 minutes from my place to the office, which is about 9 and a half miles. I still need to train a lot more if I want to enter a triathlon. Those Tour de France riders can average 31 mph over 60 miles!
Valentine's Day is Not About Money
Here's a great article on Yahoo.com about how love should not be expressed in dollars, but in love. Somehow Valentine's Day has become a day for retailers to rip off guys by making them feel guilty for not buying diamonds, jewelry, chocolates, and flowers.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Korean Konglish Jokes
These are only funny for Koreans or those kyoppos like me who get them.
What do you call a pre-occupied bean? kong beejee
what do you call a broken bicycle? mot-tah-cycle
where do lettuces worship? at a sang-choo-ary (sanctuary)
what do you call a big napkin? HU-ji (huge)
wanna hear a family joke? gah joke
what did one forehead say to the other? .. ya eemah!
what do you call a smelly bird? nem seh
what do you call the burnt rice at the bottom of a rice cooker? bobby brown
what is the vampire's fav drink? koh-pee
why did the korean smoker go to the horseraces? mal-bo-ro
what did the small fish say when he got eaten by the big fish? Oh-dheng!!!
what did the byun tae say to the mushroom? oht buhsut!
what did the cat say to the sheep to make it go away? GO YANG EE!
what do you call a hairy robot? tul-min-a-tuh!
Why don't lobsters share? They are Shell-fish
What did the bread say when it ran into the wall... ppang!
What did a cookie say to another cookie when it wanted to leave...gwajah
What do you call a 5 year old onion? Oh-nyun
What celebrity can you trust with your luggage?Jjim Carrey
How did the ice cream get into a car accident?Cha Gah Wah Suh
What did the fish say when it lost its bones?Oh my ga shee
What do u call a corny soup?Ssulung tang
what did song say to mong when he told her he was leaving the country? donk-go, mong
What did the truck say to the bread? Bbang Bbang!
What do you call a cute guy with no ears? Gwee-up-dah!
What did the mama turkey say to the baby turkey? Gobble - ji- mah!
What do you call a pre-occupied bean? kong beejee
what do you call a broken bicycle? mot-tah-cycle
where do lettuces worship? at a sang-choo-ary (sanctuary)
what do you call a big napkin? HU-ji (huge)
wanna hear a family joke? gah joke
what did one forehead say to the other? .. ya eemah!
what do you call a smelly bird? nem seh
what do you call the burnt rice at the bottom of a rice cooker? bobby brown
what is the vampire's fav drink? koh-pee
why did the korean smoker go to the horseraces? mal-bo-ro
what did the small fish say when he got eaten by the big fish? Oh-dheng!!!
what did the byun tae say to the mushroom? oht buhsut!
what did the cat say to the sheep to make it go away? GO YANG EE!
what do you call a hairy robot? tul-min-a-tuh!
Why don't lobsters share? They are Shell-fish
What did the bread say when it ran into the wall... ppang!
What did a cookie say to another cookie when it wanted to leave...gwajah
What do you call a 5 year old onion? Oh-nyun
What celebrity can you trust with your luggage?Jjim Carrey
How did the ice cream get into a car accident?Cha Gah Wah Suh
What did the fish say when it lost its bones?Oh my ga shee
What do u call a corny soup?Ssulung tang
what did song say to mong when he told her he was leaving the country? donk-go, mong
What did the truck say to the bread? Bbang Bbang!
What do you call a cute guy with no ears? Gwee-up-dah!
What did the mama turkey say to the baby turkey? Gobble - ji- mah!
Cats and Dogs are Better Than Kids
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
Dang Teens!
I was at the mall the other day eating at the food court. I noticed an old man watching a teenager sitting next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.
The old man kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find the old man staring every time.
When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"
The old man did not bat an eye in his response, "Got drunk once and had
sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.
The old man kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find the old man staring every time.
When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"
The old man did not bat an eye in his response, "Got drunk once and had
sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."
Things That Are Certain In Life
The madam opened the brothel door and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed man in his late 20s or early 30s. "May I help you?" she asked. "I want to have Jennifer," the man replied.
"Sir, Jennifer is one of our most expensive
ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else,"
said the madam.
"No. I must have Jennifer," was the man's reply.
Just then, Jennifer appeared and announced to the man that she charged $5,000 per trick.
Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave them to Jennifer, and they went upstairs and after an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to have Jennifer.
Jennifer explained that none had ever come back two nights in a row - Too expensive--and there were no discounts. The price was still $5,000.
Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Jennifer and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.
The following night the man was there again.
Everyone was astounded that he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Jennifer and they went upstairs.
After their session, Jennifer questioned the man. "No one has ever had me three nights in a row.
"Where are you from?" she asked.
The man replied, "Southern California."
"Really" she said. "I have family in Southern California."
"I know," the man said. "Your father died, and I am your sister's attorney.
She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance."
The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer
"Sir, Jennifer is one of our most expensive
ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else,"
said the madam.
"No. I must have Jennifer," was the man's reply.
Just then, Jennifer appeared and announced to the man that she charged $5,000 per trick.
Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave them to Jennifer, and they went upstairs and after an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to have Jennifer.
Jennifer explained that none had ever come back two nights in a row - Too expensive--and there were no discounts. The price was still $5,000.
Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Jennifer and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.
The following night the man was there again.
Everyone was astounded that he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Jennifer and they went upstairs.
After their session, Jennifer questioned the man. "No one has ever had me three nights in a row.
"Where are you from?" she asked.
The man replied, "Southern California."
"Really" she said. "I have family in Southern California."
"I know," the man said. "Your father died, and I am your sister's attorney.
She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance."
The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer
Are Computers Male or Female?
As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being
female (e.g., "Steady as she goes" or "She's listing to
starboard, Captain!")
Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced
that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their
reasons for drawing this conclusion follow:
Five reasons to believe computers are female:
1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other
computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as
informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm
certainly not going to tell you."
4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory
for later retrieval.
5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
*** However, another group of computer scientists, (all female)
think that computers should be referred to as if they were male.
Their reasons follow:
Five reasons to believe computers are male:
1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the
time they ARE the problem.
3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had
waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.
female (e.g., "Steady as she goes" or "She's listing to
starboard, Captain!")
Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced
that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their
reasons for drawing this conclusion follow:
Five reasons to believe computers are female:
1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other
computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as
informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm
certainly not going to tell you."
4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory
for later retrieval.
5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
*** However, another group of computer scientists, (all female)
think that computers should be referred to as if they were male.
Their reasons follow:
Five reasons to believe computers are male:
1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the
time they ARE the problem.
3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had
waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.
How women score men
For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is. In
the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do
something she likes & you get points. Do something she dislikes & points
are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects...
Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point
system.
Simple Duties
You make the bed............................................... ...+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.........0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.......................-1
You leave the toilet seat up......................................-5
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty..................0
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.......-1
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom..-2
You check out a suspicious noise at night .....................0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing...............0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something...........+5
You pummel it with a six iron................................+10
It's her father............................................ ..-10
Social Engagements
You stay by her side the entire party.....0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
drinking buddy.......-2
Named Tiffany...................-4
Tiffany is a dancer.............-6
Tiffany has implants............-8
Her Birthday
You take her out to dinner..................................0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar ......+1
Okay, it is a sports bar...................................-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night.............................-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
painted the colors of your favorite team..................-10
Thoughtfulness
You forget her birthday completely........................-20
You forget your anniversary...............................-30
You forget to pick her up at the bus station..............-45
Which is in Newark, New Jersey............................-50
And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast...............-60
A Night Out With The Boys
Go out with a pal .........................................-5
And the pal is happily married ............................-4
Or frighteningly single ...................................-7
And he drives a Mustang...................................-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED) ............-15
You have a few beers.......................................-9
And miss curfew by an hour................................-12
You miss curfew by an hour and you didn't call............-20
You get home at 3 am......................................-30
You get home at 3 am smelling of booze and cheap cigars ..-40
Her Night Out
You stay home while she goes out with her annoying friend from
work.................+5
She goes out with her annoying work friends, and she comes home real
late..........+10
You wait up................................................ ......+15
She goes out, comes home late and drunk, and you put her to bed...+20
A Night Out
You take her to a movie.........................................+2
You take her to a movie she likes...............................+4
You take her to a movie you hate ...............................+6
You take her to a movie you like................................-2
It's called DeathCop 3..........................................-3
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans .........-15
Flowers
You buy her flowers only when it's expected..................... 0
You buy her flowers as a surprise, just for the hell of it ....+20
You give her wildflowers you've actually picked yourself ......+30
And she contracts Lyme disease..................................-25
Your Physique
You develop a noticeable potbelly...............................-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of
it....+10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and
baggy Hawaiian shirts.......-30
You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too".........-800
Finances
You spend a lot of money on something impractical................-5
Something she can't use.........................................-10
Such as a motorized model airplane...............................-20
And she got a small appliance for her birthday..................-40
Driving
You lost the directions on a trip...............................-4
You lost the directions and end up getting lost................-10
You end up getting lost in a bad part of town .................-15
You get lost in a bad part of town and meet the locals up close and
personal.........-25
You know them.............................................. ....-60
The Big Question
She asks, "Do I look fat?" .....................................-5
(Sensitive questions always start with a deficit)
You hesitate in responding.....................................-10
You reply, "Where?".......................................... ...-35
Communication
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying
what looks like a concerned expression..............0
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes..........+5
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV...+10
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep...............-20
the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do
something she likes & you get points. Do something she dislikes & points
are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects...
Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point
system.
Simple Duties
You make the bed............................................... ...+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.........0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.......................-1
You leave the toilet seat up......................................-5
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty..................0
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.......-1
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom..-2
You check out a suspicious noise at night .....................0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing...............0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something...........+5
You pummel it with a six iron................................+10
It's her father............................................ ..-10
Social Engagements
You stay by her side the entire party.....0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
drinking buddy.......-2
Named Tiffany...................-4
Tiffany is a dancer.............-6
Tiffany has implants............-8
Her Birthday
You take her out to dinner..................................0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar ......+1
Okay, it is a sports bar...................................-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night.............................-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
painted the colors of your favorite team..................-10
Thoughtfulness
You forget her birthday completely........................-20
You forget your anniversary...............................-30
You forget to pick her up at the bus station..............-45
Which is in Newark, New Jersey............................-50
And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast...............-60
A Night Out With The Boys
Go out with a pal .........................................-5
And the pal is happily married ............................-4
Or frighteningly single ...................................-7
And he drives a Mustang...................................-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED) ............-15
You have a few beers.......................................-9
And miss curfew by an hour................................-12
You miss curfew by an hour and you didn't call............-20
You get home at 3 am......................................-30
You get home at 3 am smelling of booze and cheap cigars ..-40
Her Night Out
You stay home while she goes out with her annoying friend from
work.................+5
She goes out with her annoying work friends, and she comes home real
late..........+10
You wait up................................................ ......+15
She goes out, comes home late and drunk, and you put her to bed...+20
A Night Out
You take her to a movie.........................................+2
You take her to a movie she likes...............................+4
You take her to a movie you hate ...............................+6
You take her to a movie you like................................-2
It's called DeathCop 3..........................................-3
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans .........-15
Flowers
You buy her flowers only when it's expected..................... 0
You buy her flowers as a surprise, just for the hell of it ....+20
You give her wildflowers you've actually picked yourself ......+30
And she contracts Lyme disease..................................-25
Your Physique
You develop a noticeable potbelly...............................-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of
it....+10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and
baggy Hawaiian shirts.......-30
You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too".........-800
Finances
You spend a lot of money on something impractical................-5
Something she can't use.........................................-10
Such as a motorized model airplane...............................-20
And she got a small appliance for her birthday..................-40
Driving
You lost the directions on a trip...............................-4
You lost the directions and end up getting lost................-10
You end up getting lost in a bad part of town .................-15
You get lost in a bad part of town and meet the locals up close and
personal.........-25
You know them.............................................. ....-60
The Big Question
She asks, "Do I look fat?" .....................................-5
(Sensitive questions always start with a deficit)
You hesitate in responding.....................................-10
You reply, "Where?".......................................... ...-35
Communication
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying
what looks like a concerned expression..............0
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes..........+5
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV...+10
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep...............-20
Monday, February 12, 2007
Duct Tape
Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He
walks over and asks Paul what`s wrong.
"Well," replies Paul, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to
ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"
"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh.
"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to
ask her out, and she agreed."
"That`s great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?"
"I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I`d
get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg,
so if I did, it wouldn`t show."
"Sensible" says Jeff.
"So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it
in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw."
"And what happened then?"
(Paul slumps back over the bar again.)
"I kicked her in the face."
Submitted by Andy N.
walks over and asks Paul what`s wrong.
"Well," replies Paul, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to
ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"
"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh.
"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to
ask her out, and she agreed."
"That`s great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?"
"I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I`d
get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg,
so if I did, it wouldn`t show."
"Sensible" says Jeff.
"So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it
in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw."
"And what happened then?"
(Paul slumps back over the bar again.)
"I kicked her in the face."
Submitted by Andy N.
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he remembers that
it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a toy store and asks the
salesperson, "How much is the Barbie on the display window?"
The salesperson answers, "Which one? We have:
Work out Barbie for 19.95,
Shopping Barbie for $19.95,
Beach! Barbie for $19.95,
Disco Barbie for $19.95,
and Divorced Barbie for $265.95
The amazed father asks:
"What? Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?"
The salesperson annoyingly answers:
"Sir..., "Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's
Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer and One of Ken's Friends.
Joke submitted by K.C.
it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a toy store and asks the
salesperson, "How much is the Barbie on the display window?"
The salesperson answers, "Which one? We have:
Work out Barbie for 19.95,
Shopping Barbie for $19.95,
Beach! Barbie for $19.95,
Disco Barbie for $19.95,
and Divorced Barbie for $265.95
The amazed father asks:
"What? Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?"
The salesperson annoyingly answers:
"Sir..., "Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's
Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer and One of Ken's Friends.
Joke submitted by K.C.
A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage.
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a long, painful
tirade,listing every problem they had ever had. She went on and on and
on about neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling
unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had
endured over the course of their marriage.
Finally, the therapist got up, walked around the desk, asked the wife
to stand, and then embraced and kissed her passionately.
The woman quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife
needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"
The husband thought for a moment and replied,.. "Well, I can drop her
off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I golf.
Submitted by K.C.
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a long, painful
tirade,listing every problem they had ever had. She went on and on and
on about neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling
unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had
endured over the course of their marriage.
Finally, the therapist got up, walked around the desk, asked the wife
to stand, and then embraced and kissed her passionately.
The woman quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife
needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"
The husband thought for a moment and replied,.. "Well, I can drop her
off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I golf.
Submitted by K.C.
Jokes of the Day
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? A Nervous Wreck.
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers .
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?! The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack .
22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
Now, admit it. At least one of these made you smile! :)
Thanks to Jerri Rhee for sharing.
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? A Nervous Wreck.
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers .
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?! The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack .
22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
Now, admit it. At least one of these made you smile! :)
Thanks to Jerri Rhee for sharing.
Monday, February 05, 2007
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