Sequoia, et al.

I've finally scanned in pictures from our trip to Sequoia National Park. It's my favorite national park. I love these giant trees. They're just so awesome. We also stopped by Bakersfield and Lake Isabella. We didn't take any pictures in Bakersfield, however.

Click on the title of this post and you'll see my Yahoo Photo Album. This album also contains a few pictures from our dinner party with church members. There's also a picture with Sarah's brother, Whooni and her nephew, Michael (Sung Ho). That was taken on Sarah's birthday. I think we forgot to take pictures of the actual birthday girl, Sarah, though. Woops!

Reverend David M. Kim

My fellow brethren, I am now an ordained minister. Hallelujah! I received my certificate that states that I'm now known as Reverend David M. Kim.

Now, I am going to make my own church. Please support my ministry by making donations to my church. I haven't come up with a good name yet.

My first ministry will be offering free prayers to those who need it. If you have a prayer request, please let me know. I'll be happy to pray for you.

I can also perform marriage ceremonies, funerals, baptisms, home blessings, benedictions, and all that good stuff. The only things I can't do are circumcisions.

I feel that my life has changed because of this ordainment. I am now going to use my power vested in me as a minister to change the world. Watch out world, here I come!

Wild Nights in Philly

Remember back in July when I said that I went to Philly? Well, here are the pictures. Finally! What took so freakin' long?! Some of my co-workers have already left work before I could finish developing them. I'm sorry for the delay. It's because I didn't take my digital camera, so I had to wait to develop them. Also, I had several more photos to take before I could develop them. My pictures from my trip to Sequoia and some other events will be posted up soon as well. Another delay was because I waited to develop the pictures with the Rite Aid coupon I got. Why pay more now when you can pay less later? Am I right, guys?

I further apologize for the photo quality. Scanning makes the images appear like crud on the computer, but you get the gist of what happened in the pictures. I'll try to use digital photos only from now on. -After I finish developing my last roll of film taken with my disposable camera that I won at last year's office Christmas party. Those pictures go back to our Hawaii honeymoon last December.

Enough excuses and apologies. The picture above was taken at an Irish pub on South Street in Philadelphia. My co-workers who went with me on that trip were Anelise Herman, Rita Weeks, and Hadi Gerami. We had a fun first night when we arrived there. After the first night we didn't venture out too much. We just ate dinner at some restaurants and shopped around. I only took photos that first night.

You'll see some pictures that are totally weird, aside from the poor photo quality. Some of us had a little too much to drink that night. Not me though. I can drink like a camel. I liked some of the chairs at the Contintental. My friends looked like Tweedy birds trapped in cages. Hadi loved the frog chairs. Doesn't he look totally stoked? Yeah! "Rock and Roll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" as Anelise would say after she had a few drinks. Later we went to some bar with some interesting people. Interesting as in punks, gays, lesbians, transvestites, and other alien life forms. I didn't mind those types of people. Jesus would have hung out with them. For me, I had to step outside because that bar had too much cigarette smoke. I could see smoke coming out of my lungs when I went outside. Well, we had a great time that night anyway.

Click on the title of this post above to see more pictures from Philly. You'll also be able to acquire access to my entire Yahoo Photo Album. You can click on this photo for a larger image. Please don't use these pictures to blackmail me in the future. Other than that, please feel free to enjoy them.

Call of Duty 2 is better than any WW II Movie!!!!!

Check out this clip from the game Call of Duty 2. This game looks so awesome. I think it's better than any WW II movie like Saving Private Ryan or even Band of Brothers. There's more action and more intensity in this game than most war movies out there. I think it's just the beginning of the great things you can expect from the gaming industry. Pretty soon everyone will be gaming instead of just sitting there watching movies.

Mammograms

>This is a cute way to send "the message"! There is a serious message at the

end, but you get to laugh on the way there. Now go out and have your mammies

grammed!

>

>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>>Perfect Breasts

> (o)(o)

>

>Fake Silicone Breasts

> ( + )( + )

>

>Perky Breasts

> (*)(*)

>

>Big Nipple Breasts

> (@)(@)

>

>A Cups

> o o

>

>D Cups

> { O }{ O }

>

>Wonder Bra Breasts

> (oYo)

>

>Cold Breasts

> ( ^ )( ^ )

>

>Lopsided Breasts

> (o)(O)

>

>Pierced Nipple Breasts

> (Q)(O)

>

>Hanging Tassels Breasts

> (p)(p)

>

>Grandma's Breasts

> \ o /\ o /

>

>Against The Shower Door Breasts

> ( )( )

>

>Android Breasts

> | o | | o |

>

> Mammogram Breasts

> ___ ___

>

>For years and years they told me,

>Be careful of your breasts.

>Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.

>And give them monthly tests.

>

>So I heeded all their warnings,

>And protected them by law.

>Guarded them very carefully,

>And I always wore my bra.

>

>After 30 years of astute care,

>My gyno, Dr.. Pruitt,

>Said I should get a Mammogram

>"O.K," I said, "let's do it."

>

>"Stand up here real close" she said,

>(She got my boob in line),

>"And tell me when it hurts," she said,

>"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."

>

>She stepped upon a pedal,

>I could not believe my eyes!

>A plastic plate came slamming down,

>My hooter's in a vise!

>

>My skin was stretched and mangled,

>From underneath my chin.

>My poor boob was being squashed,

>To Swedish Pancake thin.

>

>Excruciating pain I felt,

>Within it's vise-like grip.

>A prisoner in this vicious thing,

>My poor defenseless tit!

>

>"Take a deep breath" she said to me,

>Who does she think she's kidding?!?

>My chest is mashed in her machine,

>And woozy I am getting..

>

>"There, that's good," I heard her say,

>(The room was slowly swaying.)

>"Now, let's have a go at the other one."

>Have mercy, I was praying.

>

>It squeezed me from both up and down,

>It squeezed me from both sides.

>I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,

>To HER tender little hide.

>

>Next time that they make me do this,

>I will request a blindfold.

>I have no wish to see again,

>My knockers getting steam rolled.

>

>If I had no problem when I came in,

>I surely have one now.

>If there had been a cyst in there,

>It would have gone "ker-pow!"

>

>This machine was created by a man,

>Of this, I have no doubt.

>I'd like to stick his balls in there,

>And see how THEY come out!

Bathroom humor

Have you ever noticed that when you're in a public bathroom trying to poo that you try to fart as silently as possible? And when you're at home alone you try to fart as loudly as possible? Well, that's true for me. I try to fart as loud as I can in front of Sarah. If she doesn't acknowledge my fart, then I try to fart more loudly the next time. When I'm using the bathroom at work, I try to do SBD's (Silent But Deadly's) or Ninjas (Silent Assasins). I don't want my co-workers reporting to others about how loud I fart in the bathroom. Usually we try to keep our bowel movements to ourselves. What ever happens in the bathroom stays in the bathroom. Guys try to avoid any eye contact in the bathroom too.

I just got a new digital camera and a video camera. Stay tuned for video blogs. That should be really exciting! Hopefully, I can learn how to do quickly. If you can give me some tips on how to do it, I'd appreciate it. I'll try to make it as interesting as possible without embarrassing myself or Sarah too much. This should be much better than my sad attempts at audioblogging. I thought that was a good idea at first, but since I'm so self-conscious about how I sound on recordings, I think it turned out to be a flop. What'd you guys think?

I got violated!

I came back from the doctor's and boy does my ass sure hurt. I went to see a urologist and he violated me. Actually, I went there because I keep peeing so much. I thought I had BPH or something like that. I decided to check it out. Fortunately, he said my prostate is fine. Unfortunately, my ass hurt so much I almost peed in my pants! Ouch! Yikes! Then, I shook his hand, thanked him, and went home. I had to pay full price too since I don't have health insurance yet.

Please don't tell anybody. It's our little secret. Come on guys. Everybody goes to the doctor for one reason or another. Until now, I was healthy as a horse. Ever since I turned 30, my body is going all downhill. I don't think I can make it to 100 now.

2002 Weyless Elite Mountain Bike for Sale

43688554_4e9c375e85_m, originally uploaded by David Kim.

I'm selling my mountain bike, Playstation 2, and modded Xbox. I know it's a shock to everyone since you all know that I love biking and videogames so much and wrote several blogs about them.

Fortunately for you, you can take advantage of this opportunity to buy an awesome bike for way cheap. It retailed for $1300 new at Supergo. I'm selling it for $400 or best offer.

This bike is really fast and light. I've written in the past about how I break the speed limit every day on my way to work. I go over 35+ mph on the downhills through East Los Angeles.

This has a Manitou front suspension fork, Shimano XT derailleurs, Deore XT brakes, Deore shifters, and clipless pedals.

I'm also including a Supergo bike computer, NiteRider Trail Rat lights ($100 retail), a bike rack, a large bike pump, a small hand pump, size 8 1/2 clipless shoes, a Bell bike helmet, and Trek tail lights for free!!

I'm also selling my modded Xbox. It has a 120 GB hard drive. I currently have about 30 games on it including Halo, Halo 2, Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball and the Xrated version, Wolfenstein, Simpsons' Road Rage, Mechassault, Burnout 2, Midnight Club 2, etc. Right now it has a soldered Xenium chip installed. I'm also including an Xecuter chip($50), the original hard drive, and a copy of Star Wars: Clone Wars/ Tetris Worlds. It also has thousands of emulators of arcade games, Genesis, Nintendo, Super Nintendo, and classic games. I've spent over $600 on this system. I'm selling it for $250 or best offer.

I'm also selling my Playstation 2. It includes 6 Playstation 2 games and 3 Playstation games. I'll also include my GameInformer videogame magazine collection and some demo disks. I'm selling it for $120 or best offer.

I can't believe I'm selling my most prized possessions, but you can benefit from my loss. I need to find some new hobbies now. Dang it!

(Click on the picture of the bike to see more bike pictures on my flickr site.)

Email me if you are interested.

Jury Duty

I had to go to jury duty yesterday. What a drag! I don't even get paid for jury duty so that sucked. Fortunately, I wasn't called to be on a jury panel. Last time I went I had to wait until the third day just to be excused. That was only a year and a half ago. Man! Why do they keep asking me to serve as a juror so often?! I seem to be called way too often. My odds are really good that I'll be called again after one year. Why don't I ever win the lotto? Oh yeah. I have to buy a ticket.

When I was going through the metal detectors at the criminal courthouse building in downtown LA, one of the security people stopped me. Of course, I didn't bring my guns or knives and emptied my pockets, but she thought that I still had something in my pocket. She checked but she found nothing. I said, "It's just my bulging muscles." She just smirked with the "yeah, right" look.

Proctologist joke (Contains profanity)

Zoom

Zoom, originally uploaded by David Kim.

Here's a picture of me driving the new Miata at Mazda's Zoom Zoom Live driving event on August 28, 2005. This was at the Pomona Fairplex. I had a fun time there when I was driving. The lines were way too long though. I had to wait over an hour to race this Miata. Yoinks! You know how impatient I am! I drove like a maniac so I had fun. The tires were screaming for mercy around every corner. Muhahahaha.

Click on the picture to see my other fun pictures on my flickr.com/photos/davidmkim site.

Zoom Zoom Live

On Saturday, Sarah and I had dinner with her family. We went to this sushi place and spent about $200. Geez! The waitress said that the soju was free. So, I kept downing them. Unfortunately, she meant only the first bottle was free. Dang it! If I knew that I wouldn't have kept ordering more. I kinda got a little bit tipsy. I remember when I could drink 4 bottles of Soju and 8 bottles of beer in one night when I went to Korea for my summer abroad program during law school. Since I didn't drink any alcohol for so long, just a couple of bottles got me drunk. I had a big hangover the next morning at church.

After church, my friend, Andy Nagai, picked me up at church and we went to Mazda's Zoom Zoom Live Driving Event. Even though I felt like puking at church, once I was there, my hangover was gone because of all the adrenaline that rushed through my body. We got to race the new Miatas around a small test track at the Pomona Fairplex. It was like autocrossing. The target time was 36 seconds and I got 37 seconds. I drove like a maniac. I had my foot on the gas the whole time and my tires were screaching all over the place. I would have had a better time if I didn't drive so crazy. But, I just wanted to have fun. I almost lost control of the car a few times, because I gave it too much gas. It was fun, 'cuz I was the loudest one on the track.

We also drove the RX-8's, but that course had instructors sitting in the passenger seat. The instructor kept yelling, "Brake! Brake! Brake!" at me the whole time. He ruined my fun. I wanted to tell him, "Shut the hell up and close your eyes."

Andy drove like a grandma on some tracks. Why'd he drive so slow? He started driving faster later on when we drove the Mazda 6. I drove the Mazda 5 also. It's like a mini mini-van. That was the best handling mini-van I've ever driven. It was much better than the old Aerostar my parents used to have.

It was pretty hot there and they only had warm water. The food wasn't that good either. I'm planning on going to the Lexus driving event. I hear that they are going to have gourmet food there. It's all part of their Lexus lifestyle marketing plan.

We wanted to race again, but the lines were so long that we got too tired. We went to the Mazda Zoom Zoom Live driving event and all we got were a couple of stupid t-shirts.

Can't reach my butt

Click on the link below or the title of this post to see a ton of more funny pictures on my flickr site:

www.flickr.com/photos/davidmkim/

You guys will love it. I've got over 150 pictures so far. You can put comments on them too.

Ghetto Prom Pictures

Ghetto Prom 5 (small), originally uploaded by David Kim.

Man! And you guys thought your prom was bad. These pictures are pretty embarassing to look at. Click on this picture to see more of these outrageous pictures and also other funny pictures. Thanks to my friends who sent me these great pictures.

www.flickr.com/photos/davidmkim/

Alligator shoes sm

Alligator shoes sm, originally uploaded by David Kim.

Click on this picture to see several more interesting and funny pictures that I've loaded to my flickr site. You can also check them by exactly typing:
www.flickr.com/photos/davidmkim/

Pastor Iris' Karaoke Party

Here's a picture from Pastor Iris' party back in June of this year. Sorry, but the picture of me singing karaoke has been lost. That's okay I guess, 'cuz I must have looked like a fool.

Click on the title of this post for the link to my Yahoo Photo Album. It's in the miscellaneous section.

Sarah's Graduation Revisited

Here's another picture of Sarah's graduation. She is now a full-fledged bonafide licensed pharmacist. She's working at Rite Aid right now. I'm sorry it's been taking awhile to post pictures. I've been extremely backed up with work and stuff to do. I'll try my best to catch up and do a better job.

Click on the title of this post for the link to my Yahoo Photo Album. These are in the Sarah's Graduation album.

Sarah's Birthday, August 21

On Friday, August 19, 2005, Sarah and I had some church friends come over. We cooked Korean BBQ stuff, like galbi, sam gyub ssal, and cha dohl bae gi. That was some good stuff. I have to remember not to eat so much though. I stayed up til 3 in the morning, because all my poo was backed up. I had to wait until I could poo so that I could sleep.

On Saturday, I waxed our Honda Accord. I usually do a really good job of waxing, but since I've been so busy lately, I did a rush job. Don't wax the car in the garage. It's hard to see the wax. Oh well.

Later that evening we went to a Christian Retreat. It was terrible. I couldn't sleep at all until about 2 am or so. Then, we woke up early for the 6 am service. Yoinks.

Sunday was Sarah's birthday. We had another Korean BBQ at our place. This time we invited our family over. I can never learn about controlling how much I eat if there's a lot of food in front of me. I stayed up late again with the same too much food/can't poo problem. No wonder why I'm always tired at work.

Comedy Central Roasts Pamela Anderson

Click on the title of this post or the link below to see a video clip of Sarah Silverman Roasting Pamela Anderson. Warning: Even though these clips are already censored, they're not for church types. You need a lot of patience with these Quicktime files. They take like 5 minutes to load, but they're hilarious, except for the last one. The last one is sad. While you're waiting for these files to load, open up another browser and read my blog, dammit! I've noticed my viewership is diminishing.

http://www.milkandcookies.com/links/34665/



Here's a link of Jeffrey Ross roasting Pam:

http://www.milkandcookies.com/links/34687/


Here's a link of Courtney Love roasting Pam:

http://www.milkandcookies.com/links/34668/


To me, this last one's not that funny. It's actually quite sad to see Courtney Love being her true self, a crack whore.

Family Guy: Ipecac Vomiting

Sarah had food poisoning last week. She left work early because she was so sick. She felt like puking, but couldn't. She wanted me to buy her some Ipecac from Rite Aid nearby. They didn't sell any. Fortunately, she was able to puke a little bit and felt better after lots of rest.

I saw a clip of this Family Guy episode where they drink some Ipecac. I'm so glad that Sarah didn't have to take any of this stuff. Man, that stuff is some serious puke-inducing stuff as illustrated by this Family Guy video clip. Click on the title of this post to view it. Have some patience. It takes a couple minutes to load, but it's worth viewing. It made me crack up.


-Speaking of puking, this reminds me of my favorite vomiting memory. It was during senior year at UCSD. Some of the guys decided to on a Senior Class Trip. It was on a Saturday and we debated about where to go. We finally chose to go on a deep sea fishing trip. I packed up some food so we could eat on the fishing boat. When we first got on the boat, we were having fun, laughing and eating. Then after about half an hour, some of the guys started getting seasick. I felt fine for awhile. I think Chris was the first to puke. Then, Joseph. Then, Hui. Then, Seung. I was thinking to myself, "Boy, these guys are weak." I called them "Cowardly Landlubbers." While those guys kept going back and forth puking over the side of the fishing boat, I tried to reel in some fish. I started getting a little bit nauseated, but I tried to fight it. Then, when I was reeling in my fishing pole, some nasty seawater got in my mouth. That was the straw that broke me. I couldn't hold it in any longer and started hurling all my barf over the boat. Some of the other fishermen got mad because they couldn't catch any fish. All the fish were eating my chunks. My puke was orange because I ate a lot of bread and oranges earlier. Every few minutes, I kept blowing chunks over the boat. After I awhile, I had nothing in my stomach, but I kept hurling. It started hurting really bad, because all my stomach acid was coming out. Unfortunately, we couldn't go back to land, because it was an 8 hour tour. I felt like dying. Fortunately, none of us died. When we finally made it to shore, I kissed the ground and swore that I would never go on a boat again. Til this day, I still haven't gone on one. We were inexperienced fishermen. We didn't know that we'd get so seasick. We should have taken some anti-seasickness pills. We thought we were young and healthy so we thought nothing would happen to us. Boy, were we wrong. We invited some of the Senior girls to come, but lucky for them, they declined. Otherwise, they would have really hated us.