Monday, November 28, 2005 

Thanksgiving Weekend

This Thanksgiving, Sarah and I had two Thanksgivings. On Wednesday night, we went to my parents' house for Thanksgiving dinner part I. The newlyweds, Christine and Sae Woon, were there also. Then, on Thursday night, we went to Sarah's parents' house for Thanksgiving dinner part II.

On Black Friday, Sarah and I went to Fry's Electronics at 6:00 am. Boy was that a mistake! There were thousands of people there. I didn't know it was going to be that crowded. I wish we just slept in. There were so many cars that were in line just trying to get in to the parking lot. We couldn't find a parking spot until we parked about a mile away on the other side of the freeway. Once we got in the store, there were tons of people in all these lines. We wanted to buy an external hard-drive and in all-in-one printer, but all the good deals were gone. We didn't want to buy items at regular price and wait in a three-hour line so we just left. The check-out line wrapped all the way around to the back of the store! Dang it!

Then, we went to Target. There wasn't a big line at all at Target because there weren't any good deals there. We also went to Bed, Bath, & Beyond and Office Depot. There weren't any good deals at all or the good ones were all sold out. I'm never going to go shopping on Black Friday ever again. It's totally not worth it. I never want to go shopping period. I'll probably have to go since Sarah will coerce me to go or drag me along.

Saturday, Sarah and I went to Whittier Narrows park with my mom and dad. Sarah went rollerblading and I took my skateboard. Afterwards we had Galbi-Korean BBQ. Then, we went to Target and Bed, Bath & Beyond again! Yikes!

On Sunday, we went to the Grove and the Beverly Center after church.

[Edit: Paragraph deleted due to censorship.]





Wednesday, November 23, 2005 

Alzheimers' Test

ALZHEIMERS' TEST

Count the "F" in the following text:


FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS... (SEE BELOW)


HOW MANY ?




..... 3?


WRONG, THERE ARE 6 !!-- no joke.


READ IT AGAIN !


The reasoning behind is further down.













The brain cannot process "OF".

Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!



Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius.
Three is normal, four is quite rare.

Monday, November 21, 2005 

Like, oh my gawd! This site is like totally awesome!

Click on this link below and then type in my URL, www.davidmkim.blogspot.com. This website will then translate my website into Valley Girl language. It's like totally bitchin'! I had a blast re-reading my website now that's in Valley speak. It's hilarious. You can also read all your other favorite websites by typing in the URL in the space provided. It makes internet news so much more interesting! Thanks, A.M., for your great submission.

Click Here To See What the Heck I'm Blogging About

Friday, November 18, 2005 

Xbox 360

I want an Xbox 360 so bad it hurts. That's all I can think about right now. If only my wife would let me play. . .

I'm so sad.

Even at work, everyone seems to be getting one. Well, my coworkers want one so that they can get $800 for it on ebay. Instead of working, they're trying to order it online. I don't think they'll be able to order one until another shipment of Xbox 360's arrive.



Fortunately for me, my parsimonious side is at odds with my video game side. That part of me will hold me off until the price comes down a lot. I hope I can get to play Xbox 360 with my future kids.

Everyone in my family doesn't seem to realize that videogames are not the sophomoric toys that we once played in the 80's. Games are now the future of entertainment. They're going to be the way that people are going to fulfill their lives in virtual reality. Every type of adventure that people crave for will be experienced through these virtual reality games. Instead of getting injured or killed in real life, people can now experience the same thrills as though they were in the movies themselves. People want their lives to be exciting. Their real lives are boring. All they do is work and do errands, make dinner, wash dishes, and go to sleep. I don't think games are bad if they fulfill people's longing for an exciting life.


Click Here To See What the Heck I'm Blogging About

Thursday, November 17, 2005 

SooKyung's Wedding


SooKyung's Wedding. I went to SooKyung's wedding on Saturday, November 12, 2005. I've met her at Choong Hyun Mission Church in Glendale, CA when I was in high school. She went to UCSD also. I'm glad to see that she got married. She was very beautiful that day. Her husband is a lucky man.

The wedding was held at Choong Hyun Mission Church. The church is now in a new location. The pictures do not do her any justice. I'm sorry for the so-so pictures. My Canon S400 has a really slow shutter time and misses all the great shots. Next time I'm going to get a faster camera. Plus, I'm going to sit closer to where all the action is. Posted by Picasa

Click Here To See What the Heck I'm Blogging About

 

First Anniversary of My Blog

Can you believe that it's been one year already since I started my blog? Time goes by pretty fast, eh? Thanks to all my friends who have read my blog over the past year. I plan on making it better as time goes on. I've chosen a new look for my blog because I've gotten bored of the original design. I might keep changing the appearance until I find something I like.




This site is under-construction. I'm trying to renovate my website so that you will have a better viewing experience later. I'm trying to make it easier to read and more visually appealing. The links have been altered somewhat because of the template change. Please excuse the dust. Please be patient. Thanks.




What do you guys think of the new look? Should I keep it, go back to the original, or come up with a better one? Please let me know in the comments section. Come on guys, I've been begging you to comment on my blog for a whole year now. I'm getting tired of reading my own blog without any feedback. If you don't talk to me, I might start writing about more and more ridiculous junk. With your input, I can go back on the right path. Otherwise, this blog is just going to go downhill even more.

 

Groaners

Prepare to groan.....

1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony
wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you,
but don't start anything."

4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

5. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve
food in here."

6. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

7. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A
beer please, and one for the road."

8. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this
taste funny to you?"

9.. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'" "That
sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" Doc says "It's Not
Unusual."

10. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly,
"I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said
Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

11. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to
look at either.

12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed,
is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a
look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his
teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "Why!?
Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."

13. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
find any.

14. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he
couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too
high."

15 . I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

16 . What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

17 . Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

Wednesday, November 16, 2005 

this is an audio post - click to play



 

Spammers Suck

These idiots keep posting stupid spam ads on my comments sections. The comments make no sense whatsoever and are totally irrelevant to my posts. I bet those same stupid bastards are going to post up another spam ad on this post. Pretty ironic, eh? They're going to spam my post that ridicule them. What must I do to get rid of them? They're like a virus. I guess I'm going to have to start making people register to post comments on my blog. If you post spam on my site, I'm going to upload viruses onto your computer because I can track you.






For the rest of my friends who read my site, please post some comments. I hate to admit it, but I haven't gotten any real comments since "Freepcreep". Thanks.

Monday, November 14, 2005 

Test to Determine Whether You Have Color-Blindness

Click on the link to see if you suffer from any sort of color-blindness. After taking this test, I think I might have to get my eyes checked again.

Click Here To See What the Heck I'm Blogging About

 

Sudoku

Now that I'm videogame free, I need other types of games to stimulate my mind. I've been playing sudoku and it has been racking up my mind. You know it's the number puzzle game that is sweeping the world. It's fun, but it can be really frustrating. You can play some online games at www.websudoku.com
or click on the link above.

Some of the hard ones can be really humbling to play. I hate it when a co-worker beats me 'cuz it makes me feel like I have a lower IQ.

Click Here To See What the Heck I'm Blogging About

Wednesday, November 09, 2005 

Videogame Free




I recently sold my modified XXXbox and Playstation 2. Now, I'm videogame free. Well, almost. I still have some computer games on our Dell computer. I spent about $700 on my XXXbox and $400 on my Playstation 2. I sold my modded Xbox to some Korean guy for $200. He got a really good deal considering it had several hundred games on it. I gave him a lot of freebies too. I sold my PS2 at Gamestop and I only got around $75 for my PS2 and all the games and stuff. When I was at Gamestop, I saw the new Xbox 360 being demonstrated on a HDTV and I totally wanted it. I got to play Call of Duty 2 and King Kong. I tried to free myself from my videogame addiction, but it looks like I'm going to have to start up again because of the next generation systems. It's really hard to quit, because games keep getting better and better. I plan on playing until I'm an old grandpa. Even when I'm a grandpa, I'd like to be playing ultraviolent games with my grandkids. "It's good to play together."-Xbox Live



 

Our First Wedding Anniversary

On our first wedding anniversary, Sunday, November 6, 2005, Sarah had to work until 7. She was tired so we just got some food and ate in. We also had a Happy Anniversary ice cream cake. We sang, "Happy Anniversary to You" and blew out the candles. It's cheesy, but we had a good time.

Sunday, November 06, 2005 


My cousin, Hae Young's baby girl. She's so cute that I had to post her picture up for the world to see. Don't you want to pinch those little adorable baby cheeks? Posted by Picasa

Saturday, November 05, 2005 

Lexus Car Show


I went to the Lexus car show today with my wingman, Andy Nagai. We had a lot of fun. This show was pretty posh compared to the other car shows that I've went to. They gave us an unlimited amount of free gourmet food. I was gobbling up the food as fast as they were serving them. I got to drive the new Lexus IS 250. The waiting line for the IS 350 was too long. The IS 350 has 305 horsepower, and the IS 250 has 206 hp, but I didn't think horsepower would make too much of a difference on these short twisty test tracks, so we opted for the 250. We also drove the GS 450, BMW 330i, Mercedes E500, RX 400h hybrid, GX 470, and the ES 330. The IS and GS were the fastest, but we thought the Bimmer handled the best on the track. This was one of the nicest car shows I've been to. They even had spas to get massages, although I didn't get one. We were treated like millionaires at this event. We also got some very nice gifts too like a leather bound Zagat guide, a CD, and a nice leather bound atlas. I really pushed these cars to the limit when I was on the courses. I got another warning this time for driving too fast and recklessly, but they didn't kick me out. Posted by Picasa

Click Here To See What the Heck I'm Blogging About

 

Chinese Expressions

Chinese Phrase English Translation
Ai Bang Mai Ne I bumped into the coffee table
Ar U Wun Tu A gay liberation greeting
Chin Tu Fat You need a face lift
Dum Gai A stupid person
Gun Pao Der An ancient Chinese invention
Hu Flung Dung Which one of you fertilized the field?
Hu Yu Hai Ding We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugitive
Jan Ne Ka Sun A former late night talk show host
Kum Hia Approach me
Lao Ze Sho Gilligan's Island
Lao Ze Not very good
Lin Ching An illegal execution
Moon Lan Ding A great achievement of the American space program
Ne Ahn A lighting fixture used in advertising signs
Shai Gai A bashful person
Tai Ne Bae Be A premature infant
Tai Ne Po Ne A small horse
Ten Ding Ba Serving drinks to people
Wan Bum Lung A person with T.B.
Yu Mai Te Tan Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you
Wa Shing Kah Cleaning an automobile
Wai So Dim Are you trying to save electricity?
Wai U Shao Ting There is no reason to raise your voice

 

Korean Jokes

These jokes are for Korean-Americans. Anyone else might not get it.


What is Korean Dracula's favorite morning beverage?
Koh-peee! (coffee)

What does the Korean bread say when it hit the wall?
Bhang!

Why is Korean toilet paper so big?
Because it's HUGE-ey!

What did the mommy Korean turkey say to her baby turkey?
Gobble ji mah!

What do you call the brown burnt rice at the bottom of the rice cooker?
bob ee brown! (Bobby Brown)

So there was this really really cute/pretty Korean girl Tragically, one day, she lost one of her ears in an accident. As she was looking out at the ocean on a bright morning along the beach, a man caught sight of her and was awed by her stunning beauty. He could not see that she had only one ear, as her long hair ran luxuriously down the sides of her head. Boldly, he approached the young woman wanting to start some kind of conversation, anything, just to talk to her, so he said, "ah, kee uhb dah!

One day Will Smith and his Korean friend went to a Korean restaurant.
The Korean guy ordered rice with kimchi chigae. Will Smith didn't know what to get, so he said to come back later. The Korean guy went to the bathroom after he ordered.
Then the waiter came to Will Smith and asked him what he would like to order. Will Smith said, "yea I want a bowl of rice."
The waiter then asked, "what would you like with that?" and Will Smith said, "yea...I want chigae with it" so when the friend got back he asked what Will Smith got with his bowl of rice and Will Smith said " gettin chigae with it"

A rabbi is sitting on an airplane next to a Korean guy. After they have been flying together in silence for a while, the rabbi leans over and says, "You know, I've never forgiven you Chinese for what you did at Pearl Harbor."
The Korean looks shocked and replies, "What the hell are you talking about?!?!? It was the Japanese the bombed Pearl Harbor, not the Chinese. And besides, I'm not Chinese or Japanese, I'm Korean!"
The rabbi says, " Korean, Japanese, Chinese, what's the difference?"
A little while later, the Korean man says, "You know, I've never forgiven you Jews for sinking the Titanic." The rabbi looks confused and mad and says, "What are you talking about? The Jews didn't have anything to do with that! An iceberg sank the Titanic!"
The Korean guy replies, "Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, what's the difference?"


There was this Russian guy, this Spanish guy and this Korean guy all in the same ESL class. The teacher told them to make a sentence using the word 'hostess' for homework.
So the next day the Russian guy goes "Oh I have a good sentence. The hostess was very courteous." And the teacher said "Wow that was really good!"
The Spanish guy goes, "Oh I have a better sentence. My mother is a good hostess when others come over." Then the teacher said, "Wow that was really good!"
Finally the Korean guy goes, "I have the best sentence. When my mother answers the phone, she says hostess?"

There was this Spanish guy, this Korean guy and this Russian guy all working for the same construction company. At the beginning of the day the boss comes out and says to the Spanish guy, "You're in charge of the cement."
Then he said to the Russian guy, "You're in charge of the dirt."
Then he said to the Korean guy, "You're in charge of the supplies."
Then he said, "I'm gonna be back at the end of the day to check on your work. It better be good or you're fired."
So they all go off to go get their work done.
At the end of the day, the boss comes back to check on their work. He looks at the big pile of cement and goes, "Good work," to the Spanish guy. Then he looks at the big pile of dirt and says, "Good work," to the Russian guy. Then he couldn't find the Korean guy so he asks, "Where the heck is the Korean guy??"
All of a sudden, the Korean guy jumps out from behind the big pile of dirt and yells, " SUPPLIES!"

Friday, November 04, 2005 

The Restroom Walls Have Ears

@#$%! I'm so pissed off because I have to write this dang post again. Stupid Blogger erased my first post.

Anyway, here it goes again.

Have you ever noticed that when people think they are alone they start talking to themselves out loud? Sometimes when I'm in one of the stalls in the restroom at work trying to go poo, some people walk in the bathroom and start talking to themselves. As I've mentioned in my previous post entitled "Bathroom Humor", I try to fart as quietly as possible when other people are in the bathroom, but not at home. Anyway, I must be so quiet that people don't realize I'm in there.



There's this one co-worker (whose name I will not reveal at this time) who keeps saying "2. . . 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 11, 12" over and over again while he's washing his hands. He has some crazy hand-washing ritual. He washes his hands several times a day for at least 5 minutes long each time. Ouch! He could wash his hands raw doing it that long! He also uses paper towels to open door handles. I've noticed that there are a lot of paper towels on the bathroom floor near the door. He must be a germaphobe, but he's a messy one. I've also noticed that he pees on the toilet instead of the urinals. He has really bad aim for a germaphobe. I have to clean up after his piss whenever I have to use the toilet. I clean up the toilet, the ground next to it, and put at least 2 toilet cover sheets on it. Yuck! Maybe that's why he washes his hands so much.

Another guy kept saying "Oh yeah, she's hot" while he was micturating. It's easy to know what he was thinking about!

I'm not saying that I'm not guilty of talking out loud when I thought I was alone. One time, when I was interning at the Court of Appeals in San Diego, I heard this female attorney say "I can hear you, you know". I was in the breakroom kitchen and I thought I was alone. I didn't check the break room itself. I became really embarassed. I had no idea what I was saying out loud. People must subconsciously talk out loud when they think they're alone.

I try not to embarass other people by keeping really quiet until they leave the restroom. I don't even make any noise by trying to wipe my butt by getting out the toilet paper. If they realize someone else is in there, they might get really embarassed. I stay in the stall until they leave the restroom. That way we can avoid any embarassing eye contact.

Since I'm on the subject of talking about coworkers, I'm really irritated with Brian Greenwood right now. He moonlights as a rockstar and I've even went to one of his concerts. I'm upset, because he says, "David Kim" and variations of my name a thousand times a day. I'm being serious too. He really says it every minute while I'm at work. I guess it all started the first day of work when he said, "David Kim" and I responded by saying "Hey, Brian". I guess he liked our little routine so much, he kept saying it ever since. One's name is supposed to be music to one's ears, but not when he says it. He's annoying as fingernails going down a chalkboard all day long every single day. Even with my saintly patience, I'm beginning to get majorly pissed off. Brian Greewood, if you're reading this post, shut the hell up!!!!!!!!!!!! I like the guy so I don't want to hurt his feelings. He also keeps asking me the same questions every single minute like "What are you eating for dinner tonight?" or "What are you doing tonight?" I'm trying to ignore him, but I keep hearing him say my name because he sits right next to me. He also thinks he's hilarious when he rapidly turns the lightswitch in one of the rooms on and off repeatedly. He says work is driving him crazy but he's making my blood pressure rise sky high. I liked my job because I didn't think it was too stressful, but now I'm getting really agitated.



Shut the @#$% up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Deep Observations on Life

Some of these are funny. Some suck.

1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died
peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the
passengers in his car."
--Author Unknown
2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you
get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:
"Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."
--Author Unknown
3) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a
support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they
meet at the bar."
--Drew Carey
4) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's
not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into
doing it, have fun with it At the end of the night,
drop them off at the wrong house."

--Jeff Foxworthy
5) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball
and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the
infant's life without even considering if there is a man on
base."
--Dave Barry
6) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and
we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend
wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice.
There should be given severance pay, the day before they leave
you, they should have to find you a temp."
--Bob Ettinger

7) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in
the lake and threw her off the boat I said, "Mom, they weren't
trying to teach you how to swim.'"
--Paula Poundstone
8) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal
skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."
--Conan O'Brien
9) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway
through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I could be eating
a slow learner."
--Lynda Montgomery
10) "I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New
York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just
isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'"
--Richard Jeni
11) "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the
impersonators would be dead."
--Johnny Carson
12) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
--Paul Rodriguez
13) "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty
and that's the law."
--Jerry Seinfeld
14) "Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of
fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest
to tallest What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn
slower?"
--Warren Hutcherson
15) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the
same."
--Oscar Wilde
16) "Suppose you were an idiot ... And suppose you were a member of
Congress... But I repeat myself."
--Mark Twain
17) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At
least they can find Afghanistan."
--A. Whitney Brown
18) "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--Billy Crystal
19) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give
you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've
thought of that!'"
--Dave Barry

20) Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease"
was taken.
--Unknown, presumed deceased

 

Upcoming First Wedding Anniversary

Our first wedding anniversary is coming up on November 6, 2005. What should I do for our anniversary? I heard the first anniversary is paper. What am I supposed to give her? A piece of paper? I could do that. I was thinking of taking her somewhere nice like a romantic getaway, but she is working this weekend. I guess I'll just give her a piece of paper and take her to Mickey D's.

Thursday, November 03, 2005 


These wedding pictures were taken by Kyung Ha. For some dang reason I can't upload them to my Yahoo Photo Album so I'll have to upload a few of them to my blog. Computers-they're a love/hate thing. You love them for what they can do, and you hate them whenever something goes wrong. Posted by Picasa

 


The bridal party Posted by Picasa

 


Sae Woon's family Posted by Picasa

 


Don't kiss my sister!!!! Just kidding. You may now kiss the bride. Posted by Picasa

 


The newlyweds Posted by Picasa

 


The happy couple Posted by Picasa

 


The groom and groomsmen Posted by Picasa

 


The bride and bridesmaids Posted by Picasa

 


My aunts and grandma. Posted by Picasa

 


With my cousins, Kyung Ha and Jun Ho before the wedding ceremony. Posted by Picasa

 


Christine and Sae Woon performing the Pae Bae, a Korean wedding tradition.  Posted by Picasa

 


Christine's Wedding. This picture was taken by my cousin, Kyung Ha Oh. He's from Seoul and he's studying in Ohio right now. Here's Sarah, me, Christine, Sae Woon, mom, and dad. Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, November 02, 2005 

Fun Things To Do

15 things to do at Wal-Mart, K-Mart or Target while your spouse/partner
is taking their sweet time:


1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when
they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3'
in housewares.....and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers
you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why
can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your
nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he
knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme
from "Mission Impossible."

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different
size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK
ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal
position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last but not least

15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell
loudly "There is no toilet paper in here!"



 

Test for Dementia

Test for Dementia
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question.



You have to answer them instantly.

You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately.



OK?





Let's find out just how clever you really are.



Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)








First Question:
You are participating in a race.
You overtake the second person.
What position are you in?



Answer:
If you answered that you are first,
then you are absolutely wrong!
If you overtake the second person
and you take his place, you are second!


Try not to screw up in the next question.

To answer the second question, don't take as
much time as you took for the first question.


Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?



Answer:
If you answered that you are second
to last, then you are wrong again.
Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?




You're not very good at this! Are you?



Third Question:
Very tricky math!
Note: This must be done in your head only.


Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator.
Try it.



Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000.
Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20.
Now add another 1000 Now add 10.
What is the total?


Scroll down for answer.




Answer:
Did you get 5000?



The correct answer is actually 4100.



Don't believe it? Check with your calculator!
Today is definitely not your day.
Maybe you will get the last question right.



Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters:
1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?



Answer:
Nunu?



NO! Of course not.
Her name is Mary.
Read the question again



Okay, now the bonus round:
There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush.
By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth
he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper
and the purchase is done.

Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy
a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?


He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.



I got all of the questions wrong. I must have dementia.

 

Da Vinci Code

I'm reading the Da Vinci Code right now. It's a fun read, even though it's fiction. I've always been interested in church history. Some of the things mentioned in the book are real, however. The church did have a very dark history. Reading this book makes me want to study Christian history again.




I don't think a lot of the stuff written about Da Vinci was true. What I think is true is that there were a lot of other gospels written that the church did not like. I also thought the concept of the number Phi=1.618 being everywhere was very interesting. There's just a ton of interesting things in the book that Dan Brown talks about albeit briefly. It's a great mystery thriller.

 

Practice What You Preach

The light turned green, but the man didn't notice it. A woman

in the car behind him is watching traffic pass around them.

The woman begins pounding on her steering wheel and

yelling at the man to move. The man doesn't move.

The woman is going ballistic inside her car, ranting and

raving at the man, pounding on her steering wheel and

dash. The light turns yellow and the woman begins to

blow the car horn, flips him off, and screams profanity

and curses at the man.

The man, looks up, sees the yellow light and accelerates

through the intersection just as the light turns red.

The woman is beside herself, screaming in frustration as

she misses her chance to get through the intersection. As

she is still in mid-rant she hears a tap on her window and

looks up into the barrel of a gun held by a very serious

looking policeman.

The policeman tells her to shut off her car while keeping

both hands in sight. She complies, speechless at what is happening. After
she
shuts off the engine, the policeman

orders her to exit her car with her hands up.

She gets out of the car and he orders her to turn and place

her hands on her car then handcuffs her and takes her to

the police station where she is fingerprinted, photographed, searched, booked

and placed in a cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approaches the cell

and opens the door for her. She is escorted back to the

booking desk where the original officer is waiting with her

personal effects and says,



"I'm really sorry for this mistake. But you see, I pulled up

behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping

the guy off in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him.

I noticed the "Choose Life" license plate holder, the "What

Would Jesus Do" bumper sticker, the Follow Me to Sunday
School" bumper sticker, and the chrome plated Christian

fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had

stolen the car."

Tuesday, November 01, 2005 

Chinese Proverbs

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong; man with four balls cannot walk.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, only one screw to fill it.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

 

Only in America

Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of

the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes
at
the front.

Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET

coke.

Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to
the
counters.

Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway

and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns of packages
of
eight.

Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so
well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking
creatures'.

Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER...Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made

with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't

they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

About me

  • I'm David Kim
  • From L.A., California, United States
  • Sarah is my life.
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